God is cruel!

offended
I get offended when people born in the same year as me think I'm kind of old.

Did you try that hammer in the face thing yet? I think it could work.

Well, for me, God cursed me to look 10 years younger than I actually am. Why does he hate me??? People think I am only 17 or 18 when actually I am 27! I can't buy anything without getting carded...Oh why me??!!?!?!?! God told me that he wanted me to look like I was in high school. I think he traded your youth for mine! I got your youth and you got my old, dragging body. That's it. I knew it.

Since I'm 41, I'm glad that god made me look younger, but this isn't what I asked for. I asked for the lottery and I'm pretty pissed that he mixed up my order with someone elses.
It pains me to think that there's someone out there spending all my winnings.

i worked with a woman once who called me "ancient" when i told her i was 31 (she was 23 at the time.)

now she's 32 -- MWUH-HAHAHAHAHA!
she is sooooooo ancient now...

Annoyed, this is God. I was checking my emails and I got a message from Gus. He volunteered for a tryst with you. I am waiting for his nekkid pictures so I can laugh … I mean … check him out for you. Get used to rubbing up against wrinkly things. It's all downhill from here.

I forgot to tell you when I invaded your dream, I removed half your brain. Oh wait, you already knew that, right?

My next message to you is - shave your hair and grow your arm-pit hair. I'll be back later with further instructions.

And stop whining … or I'll smite thee!

LOL - last time anybody asked me for my ID, first thing she said was "Sir, do you know why I stopped you?" Ticket-sellers assume I get the "Senior Discount" if there is one, waiters and waitresses, just matter-of-factly point out the "Senior Discount" menu items to me, kids call me "Pops" or "Gramps", folks in their 50s and older call me "Sir", and all that has been going on for years. And while I've been a patron of taverns, liquour, and tobacco retailers since my mid-teens, I have never been asked for proof-of-age when making a purchase or placing an order. On and right after my 21st birthday, that was sort of a letdown. Oh, well - we all have our crosses to bear :wink:

Hey god, I've got a bone to pick with you, bud! I know you've been avoiding me and it's going to stop right this second. Now, the lottery is up to 9 million tonight and I bought yet another ticket, so if I don't win, there's gonna be trouble. I know you know that I have connections, so don't make us go up there!

This is your final warning! No more messin around!

Timber
I'm not sure if I believe you. You got an ID there son?

(don't let the white feathers fool ya...)

Montana, you HAVE hit the jackpot in terms of the son I gave you. Are you not already a winner?

If that doesn't work, I'll play around with the balls tonight and see if I can shift things in your direction. Wait a minute, that came out dirty. I have to stop reading those magazines while astride the throne.

From the "Old" testament, I quoteth .....

Snow on the Roof, Fire down Below.

Dear God
The son was great and everything and please know that I appreciate it, but in case you were to busy to notice, he turned 18 last month and since he's an adult now, I really need that cash I've been bugging you about.
I would be forever grateful if you could play with those balls real good until my numbers pop up.

Thanks god! I'll never forget this :-D

It is? Which one? I want to know so I can determine whether I should be depressed or not. :wink:

Yes Montana my child, now that your son is 18, he can now be sent out to work and keep you in the manner you would like to be accustomed. Do not allow him to date until he is 25. He cannot be running of getting married until he swathes you in jewelry and cheesecake for a decent period of time. Instead he must bring you home his full paycheck for the period 18 to 25. Put him in the garden shed to save electricity and a huge phone bill.

The blessings of -God- on you!

do you still engage in smoting? If so, Id like some people smoten. Whats a hit from the almighty run these days? I can do a coupla burnt sheep and maybe a cow, tops.

do you still engage in smoting? If so, Id like some people smoten. Whats a hit from the almighty run these days? I can do a coupla burnt sheep and maybe a cow, tops.

I have been known to smite on occasion. It happens when I laugh too enthusiastically or if I've eaten too much chili. I'm trying to cut back.

Is that suppose to be a joke, god?

I don't mean to disturb you, but the lottery #s will be drawn in a little over an hour and it's time for you to get those balls in your hands ;-)

649 lotto is my game, so start working those balls, baby :-D

God's a putz . . . look at all the idiots who line up to sing the hosannahs and kiss his ass . . . pathetic . . .