You're wrong, Sturgis! See
here..
Do Europeans smell?
Only if they have noses.
How do you know I am wrong if I am never wrong?
I only know you are never wrong.
Why are you never wrong?
Because I'm right and the whole rest of the world is wrong...my mother told me that.
Do moths have wings or are they just fuzzy?
They fly on fuzzy wings
Why does the sun lighten your hair and darken your skin?
It doesn't, it just that dried out scalp flakes make the hair look lighter and wrinkles make shadows causing the skin to look darker.
Why do shoe laces break in emergencies?
They have tiny little chips in them that sense these things.
Why do clocks tick?
To keep you awake at night.
Why is it called a grandfather clock when my grandfather didn't make it?
Because "Grandmother Clock" sounds silly.
Is it possible to roast coffee beans in a microwave?
Yes, if you don't care about ruining the microwave...or the coffee beans.
What is the other 75% of a quarterhorse composed of?
Three quarters of a horse.
Can you teach old tricks to a new dog?
I dunno - maybe her pimp can.
Are your eyes rolling yet?
No.
Is there a doctor in the house?
I'm a doctor.
How can it rain on a sunny day?
Only when the full moon shines through the clouds.
Who is the worst person to put on a 1000 dollar bill?
A penniless bum.
Why do shoes have tongues since they don't talk?
You should be asking why they have souls.
Is tea healthier than coffee?
If it is, we are all doomed since tea tastes worse than piss or light beer.
Why don't more people have ant farms?
Because they're not as profitable as dairy or wheat farms.
Why does water freeze at 32 degrees?
Because when selecting a temperature scientists counted backwards from 100, aloud. Their mouths and tongues froze at 32.
Why doesn't each state of the U.S. have a King and Queen?
