since when has it been ok for a man to do what he wants?

I think the easiest answer is how would you react to a thread titled, "since when has it been ok for a woman to do what she wants?" This imaginary thread is written by a guy named Tony who gets really pissed off that his wife watches soap operas and tells her to stop but she just won't. Tony doesn't think it's right that even though it really bothers him -- he sees how she looks at those soap star hunks -- she tells him that she enjoys it and she would prefer to continue to watch rather than stopping for him.

See?

The difference between soap operas and porn can be discussed, (as it has been, to be sure), but that's my response to your title question.

Sozobe has written well.

No matter how close the relationship, one partner does not own the other.

It's all a matter of perspective.

Some people would shun at the idea of porn for example, while other believe it to be a natural functioning. To push it even furthur, someone might even make a case that porn is a necessary part of them; like breathing (Hehe).

I believe, to all his/her own; hold your dominion.

Since about late 1974 . . . the Feminists finally caved in because we refused to do small maintenance jobs on their cars, or let them know when the mechanic was trying to rip them off . . . our partial emancipation pretty much dates from that negotiation . . .

.... ffs....surely there are worse things in life to worry about????

Im so glad Im in a happy, loving relationship with my fiancee and best friend who likes his porn every now and again without me whineing and acting like a neurotic, insecure, jealous halfwit at him!

Bear used to get upset if I went and got my hair cut. I told him it was my hair. What did he know about caring for my hair, styling it and whether or not it was cool in the summer?

He decided to grow his hair out. He kept asking if I liked it and if it bothered me or did I want him to cut it? My response has always been... It's your hair.

I can't stand his tattoos. Before the first one I made it clear that I didn't want him to get one. He did it anyway. I accepted that it is his body and he could tattoo every inch if he liked. He got a couple more. I still don't like them. But, I have to accept it as part of him / his personality and what he needs / wants to do with his life.

What if I decide tonight that I never want to shave my legs or underarms again. He probably wouldn't like it after a month or so, but he'd accept it or move on. They are my legs and underarms.

To suggest that just because two people are married they have to do whatever pleases the other at the expense of living the life they want to live IS controlling and self centered.

We only have one shot at life. We all have our own paths to follow, our own challenges and bridges to cross. I wouldn't want to be the one holding my spouse back from living the way he wants to live, anymore than I would want him deciding for me whats right or wrong for me to do with my life.

And isn't right / wrong / judging really what the porn issue is about?

Great post, squinney.

All you say is very idealistic, but I can't fathom myself putting it to use in reality. Maybe it's my ignorance, but I believe that marriage should be about pleasing the other, as it is no expense to my life, since I live to make her happy.

Like you said, we only have one shot at life. This is how I am deciding to live it and with no regrets. Should I be prosecuted for choosing living this way?

errr squinney is not being 'idealistic' she is 'realistic' if thats what keeps you happy and your loved one happy Borealis, all good and well.... :wink:

I understand, Kiwi. But, realistic in what sense? Hers or mine? In mine, it seems too unrealistic.

I apologize, it's not idealistic because that too is dependent upon a persons perspective.

My wife, (sob) likes BARRY MANILOW. (sob) Oh the shame, andshe tells me to stick my opinion up my sphincter. To this , I become easily agitated.In thevehicles, if she gets an attack of Manilingus,she has, at least lately , plugged in some earphones .

Barry Manilow, jeesuz H Christ.

Since when is it ok for a man to do what he wants?

As soon as he becomes an adult and can pay his own bills....
about the age 18

I write the songs that make the whole world puke . . .

In every relationship there are deal makers and deal breakers. Acceptance of your partner's whims is part of what makes the deal for me, but it could just as well turn into a deal breaker if it exceeds the limits of what a person's comfortable with.

If one person's use of porn rises to the level of deal breaker, than it's okay for the other person in the relationship to walk away.

It'd be the same with any exclusive behavior, drug abuse or drinking or running around.

While walking away from a weirdly complex situation some years ago, the other person bawled that I was trying to control her. I said she was completely free to do whatever she wanted with her life.

"But not with you, right?"

"uh, that's a fact, jack."

Haven't a clue what happened to her. I got okay in a hurry.

IF, and it's a big IF, anything is causing you pain you have a right to prescribe yourself some medicine, sometimes it only takes a short walk before you are pain free.

Joe

That age limit should be set furthur a couple of years

In other countries, children as young as 11 years old have the consent to buy pornography. It's not such a big issue there as here. I guess inhibition of certain products makes temptation greater.

Amen.

I would agree with that statement Borealis. Whole heartedly.
Cigarettes as an example..
they dont taste good, dont feel good ( the first few times ) yet the young kids act like they are GOLD and have to have them... simply because they are forbidden.

I think it all comes down to, how good of a negotiator
you are. Marriage is full of compromises and negotiations.
Thee, who has the better tools, wins

so you live to make your wife happy and vice versa, I assume...well, we all try our best at doing that and does not any relationship qaulify for some sort of compromisation?

Only in the United States though shewolf. In Europe, even kids have a sip
of wine or beer now and then - and not nearly as many boozing teenagers as here.