Want revenge!! JUST discovered my husband is cheating

Forums: Cheating, Revenge, Cheater, Cheating Husband, Cheating Spouse
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Hello, I'm new here... I just discovered a few hours ago that my husband of 11 years(but we've been together over 25 years) is cheating on me. We were planning an out of town trip. While booking our trip on HIS computer, I see in his account that he has a trip planned the month before out of town with this woman. He 's paying for their flight and room. He has her name on the ticket and everything. He's a pretty dumb cheater, wow... He cheated a few years ago with this woman who's also married and I forgave him and he promised it was over. I don't know if it was still going on or recently started up again. Gave him a 2nd chance, there will be no 3rd chance. Unfortunately, I recently discover that he's put our finances in the hole but I'll just have to deal with that. I want a bit of revenge... I haven't let on that I know. I could meet them airport, or text him pictures of their travel itinerary when I know he's arrived at their destination. I also want to move his stuff out while he's gone. I'm seriously done! What do you think? Any suggestions? Their trip is planned in about 3 weeks.

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@lca,

lca wrote:

Hello, I'm new here... I just discovered a few hours ago that my husband of 11 years(but we've been together over 25 years) is cheating on me. We were planning an out of town trip. While booking our trip on HIS computer, I see in his account that he has a trip planned the month before out of town with this woman. He 's paying for their flight and room. He has her name on the ticket and everything. He's a pretty dumb cheater, wow... He cheated a few years ago with this woman who's also married and I forgave him and he promised it was over. I don't know if it was still going on or recently started up again. Gave him a 2nd chance, there will be no 3rd chance. Unfortunately, I recently discover that he's put our finances in the hole but I'll just have to deal with that. I want a bit of revenge... I haven't let on that I know. I could meet them airport, or text him pictures of their travel itinerary when I know he's arrived at their destination. I also want to move his stuff out while he's gone. I'm seriously done! What do you think? Any suggestions? Their trip is planned in about 3 weeks.

First, sorry about your problem. Now...

If you are going to serve up "revenge"...it is a dish best served cold.

BUT REMEMBER: Before you set on a voyage of revenge, dig two graves. They'll be needed.

Better to just let him know you know...and let him know he'd better take all his stuff with him on his little vacation, or you will permanently dispose of it all.

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^
What he said.

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@lca,

Please don't play "Stupid Human Games."

If you're done, you're done. It's that simple. No need to act as poorly and stupidly as him. Get a plan together and make yourself a better life.

Just tell him it's over. Research divorce in your State, draw up papers and have them ready. Lock down your credit. Make a fair and equitable settlement of debts & assets. Make copies of important documents. Consult an attorney.

Don't throw out his personal belongings, don't behave badly and certainly don't seek "revenge," It only hurts you in the long run.

Do be proactive, calm, thoughtful of your own self care.

Yes, it hurts. Yes, you're mad. Yes, you've been betrayed.
Yes, you can get over it. Yes, you can learn to love again. And yes, you are worth your own time, energy and money.

Just be smart, calm down and get to work.

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@lca,

Be careful, remember if you're heading for a divorce and it sounds like you are then anything you do can be used against you in the divorce proceedings.

My advice, get proof of the affair like photographs and digital records.

Then keep it simple, confront, evict & get on with your life.

Good luck.

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Beyond the advice you've been given, if there's any way to extricate your own money from the financial situation, then do so. This may mean returning or selling bigger ticket items. Resign yourself to the fact that you will lose money on most reselling-- but it's better than nothing.

Setting fire to his **** or any other stupid revenge nonsense you have seen in the movies and want to do will boomerang on you.

Don't do that. Just cleanly get out and build a new life without him.

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@jespah,

Thank you, for the advice. I just planned to move all of his stuff out into a storage facility, not permanently damage anything.

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@lca,

lca wrote:

Thank you, for the advice. I just planned to move all of his stuff out into a storage facility, not permanently damage anything.

Good luck.

Gonna hurt some. That is inevitable. You should like the kind of person who can handle it.

Stick around the forum. You may enjoy it...and your experiences going through this may help someone else who comes along. We have some pretty interesting discussions on all sorts of topics other than personal relationships.

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@lca,

Pack his stuff, move it out and store it, inform the other woman's husband what is going on, and if possible meet them when the plane lands. Give him the keys to the storage facility, take the keys to the house, and have that be it.

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@lca,

Seek not revenge but justice. You have to take responsibility. You will be responsible, you know, in the future. On a side note, must be nice to have so much money.

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@Medusax,

Why should she tell the husband? It's none of her business what the other woman does in her marriage.
-----

Get your financial situation in order, open your own account if you don't have done so already. Get all important documents ready and most importantly: talk to an attorney! While he's on vacation, use the time wisely to get your life in order and separated from his. A good attorney will help you and by the time he returns, papers will be served. That should be revenge enough!

Good luck to you!

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@lca,

I am sorry you are going through this. I think the best thing for you to do is file for divorce, because it looks like he thinks he can get away with repeatedly doing these things to you as long as you remain with him. As far as the revenge part....well, I've heard it said that the best revenge is to live an awesome life. Prove yourself a better person than this louse and show him that he and the other woman are not getting to you. Take something negative and turn it into a positive thing for yourself by focusing on self-love. Best wishes and stay safe.

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Want revenge!! JUST discovered my husband is cheating

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