Wed 2 Dec, 2020 03:04 am
I have only ever slept with and dated men, and I have always found I am definitely attracted to them, but I don’t feel any romantic or emotional connection. I also mostly masturbate thinking about men, and even when I do fantasise about women I usually flip to imaging a guy as I orgasm. My fav porn genre is also gay male porn. I also always notice attractive men on the street and I don’t notice women at all in the same way, and could not imagine going on a date with a woman who I had met on a dating app or something but have with many men.
BUT I have only ever romantically fantasised about women (thinking about wanting to cuddle and be close to them) and have almost exclusively crushed on women and really intensely (particularly my close girl friends I have a steady stream of best friend crushes). Even though I think about men sexually way more than women I don’t know if I have ever had a crush on a man. I definitely am physically attracted to the women I crush on but only those specific people, whereas I feel I would be sexually attracted to a bigger range of men. No-one knows how I feel towards women since I have always presented myself as straight and I wouldn’t feel comfortable disclosing it either (also would not want my friends to guess how I truly feel towards them because that’s awkward). Would love some input, or if anyone has experienced similar sexual confusion?
There are all kinds of loves. It’s nice that you love your best friends. It’s also nice that you can identify who you want to have sex with. These don’t have to match.
Don’t feel as though you have to figure anything out right now.
HI, my story is a little similar to yours. I started out early in life by being taught from my friends and family that men should be attracted to women and having only slept with two. Even while I was with those women I was actually thinking of a guy. My attraction was really men and after the years I just came clean with myself and admitted to myself I'm gay. I agree you don't need to rush into this. Being gay for me is more than a label or picking a team. It's a feeling that all is right in the world. I have girl friends but they are only friends. Best of luck
I agree Punkey no need to rush into a decision.