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Straight but mostly attracted to the male body.

 
 
Reply Fri 3 May, 2013 10:41 pm
I know I'm straight, yet I'm not really attracted to the female body. I can get easily aroused to the site of a well built male body, but I have a hard time getting an erection by looking a at nude female body (I find it really really beautiful, but it takes time for me to get an erection).

I know that other straight men have this same issue, however I 'm 22 years old and I've never had sex or had a girlfriend, mainly because I'm afraid I won't be able to comsumate anything in bed. To all the heterosexual males out here who have this same issue, how do you do it in bed? When you're with your girlfriend in bed, does it happen? Can you get an erection? Is it different from just having it in your imagination? Please answer, since I'm attracted to girls, and I want to have a girlfriend so badly but I don't know what to do!
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 3,395 • Replies: 7
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Pearlylustre
 
  1  
Reply Fri 3 May, 2013 11:42 pm
@Cuchulain,
If you're sexually attracted to men you're gay. Why do you think you're straight? Just because you want to be?
Cuchulain
 
  0  
Reply Sat 4 May, 2013 08:52 pm
@Pearlylustre,
No, because I don't feel emotionaly atracted to men in any way, but I do with women. You know, there are many people out there like me.
Pearlylustre
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 May, 2013 11:34 pm
@Cuchulain,
Yes, but gay refers to being homosexual - ie sexually attracted to people of the same sex. It's your sexual orientation, not your emotional orientation! Sure lots of gay men are emotionally attached to women, in my experience those who are honest with themselves usually call them friends and have the integrity not to insult them by faking sexual attraction. I'm a straight woman and I love my husband dearly but if I had a free afternoon to fill, or was stranded on a desert island, I'd rather spend it talking to my female friends - doesn't mean I have to sleep with them and pretend I'm a lesbian. Another female friend of mine is sexually attracted to men but emotionally attracted to women and she found the perfect solution in her current relationship with a transgender woman (who is physically still male). Maybe that could be another option for you.
I hope you find the right man soon that you are both physically and emotionally attracted to. I'm sure he's there if you give him a chance. It's easier to develop an emotional attachment to someone than it is to fake sexual attraction. But whatever you do please don't ruin a woman's life by subjecting her to the hurt and indiginity of a sham marriage. I have known women who have been through that and it is very ugly and unfair.
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Oedipus2013
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Jul, 2013 11:01 pm
@Cuchulain,
I'm kind of in the same boat. You may be gay, but it doesn't really matter. Having sex with women is the best thing in the world. My best advice is to not worry about your sexuality and just focus on getting laid. There's a big difference between looking at pictures and having an engaging sexual experience. You'll do fine as long as you enjoy the moment.
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HesDeltanCaptain
 
  -2  
Reply Thu 13 Aug, 2015 09:03 am
@Cuchulain,
Hate to burst your bubble sport but you don't sound heterosexual.
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Stumpjumper
 
  0  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2021 09:45 pm
@Cuchulain,
Labeling of sexuality has started to be divided into two spectrums (1) sexual preference and (2) relationship/emotional preference. There is also a third dimension that describes how you get aroused. For example, demisexuals can only be aroused by people that they have an emotional attraction to. In your case, you can get aroused by women, but not as easily as with men. Perhaps if you were in a relationship with a woman this would be easier. Or maybe not.

It sounds like you are heteroromantic, hence why you label yourself as straight.

I am somewhat similar. I've struggled with labeling myself. My attraction to men is only with a particular fetish (not general sex and not a relationship and what arouses me is a particular act, not the guy himself), but it's a very intense fetish that consumes a lot of energy. But I am fascinated by women's bodies and think about them a lot, whereas I am not fascinated by men's bodies outside the fetish. Neither sex really arouses me all that much, but I can get an erection and have sex with women but it takes time. With the fetish with men, it's very quick.

The thing is, sex is more pleasurable when it takes a little while, so maybe this is a good thing (?).

I think to figure it out, you need to try to experiment. Or, if you're happy being with women over men and prefer that, then you do you.
0 Replies
 
puto
 
  0  
Reply Tue 9 Nov, 2021 09:55 am
@Cuchulain,
So glad to have found your post. There's a lot here I agree with. I too find the male body more attractive than the female - I speak generally. There are exceptions. Occasionally, I have been absolutely overwhelmed by the sexual attraction one or two girls - too few, unfortunately. I kid myself my attraction to the male body is an aesthetic matter. There's more definition of form, leaner, trimmer, less fat, less roundness. However, I'm totally put off by sex with another male. I love the look of the male body - but have no desire to fondle it. I have no problem whatsoever having sex with women. I think I'm somehow turned on by the sexual "situation" - if that makes sense. I think I could perform with a very ugly woman which makes me wonder if my "fundament interest" is in myself - my own sexuality, I mean. When I feel the girl's admiring me, that's the turn-on. I once had a girl who, incredibly, brought her "best-friend" along - not to actively participate - but we did it in front of her which I found an incredible turn-on. It was as if I was saying "Watch me. Look at my dick. Do you like my buttocks clenching and relaxing ?" I'm narcissistic, I suppose, but whereas Narcissus was happy with staring at his own image, I want other people to stare at mine. Seeking approval sounds like a case of lack of self-confidence but I feel quite the opposite. I'm vigorous, I last a long time, my body is trim, not over muscular, and (forgive my saying this) I like how I look. Since I'm the same sex as myself, does that make me gay ? God! I'm so mixed up - but happy in my confusion.
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