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Being a Teenager With a Fetish is Possibly the Most Difficult Thing I Have Ever Had to Deal With.

 
 
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 01:43 am
Being A Teenager With A Fetish Is Possibly The Most Difficult Thing I’ve Ever Had to Deal With...

And that's saying something, my life hasn't exactly been cake. Not going to elaborate, as that would sound like whining and may incite a pity-party, but let's just say I've had to grow up very, very fast, and other people my age have the stupidest problems on the grand scale of things. *rolls eyes*

But I just want to say to all you adults, those of us kids that are aware of those aspects of our sexuality, have a hard existence to make on a day-to-day basis. I personally don't abstain from sex, although I do take the proper precautions, I have pills and always use a condom to prevent STDs. But as teenagers, our hormones rage something fierce. That means that undeniably, sex is on our minds. All. The. Time. And when part of that is a deviant sexual preference, it can make the yearnings for it increasingly hard to deal with knowing that our peers are not the same way.

So we think about sex, and we talk about it, we engage in it, we sometimes do risky things concerning it. (Not myself... But others I know.) But for someone like myself and some of my friends, we can't really add to the conversation when our regular friends are talking. It's annoying. It's frustrating. It's all around a pain in the ass, excuse my language.

My personal fetish, while a common one, is not something anyone wants to come out about. So you like leather? You can buy leather pants at a clothing store. Wear them around to entice your partner and take things from there in the bedroom. So you have a foot fetish? Make part of your foreplay a foot massage. But you like to be spanked? That's a taboo. Ever since the whole deal with taking spanking out of schools, and even before then, it has been a taboo to hit your kids. With good reason, too. Nobody wants to see it go to a length where it's abuse! But that can be applied to so many other things, such as sheltering your kids to the point where they find it hard to get used to adult life at all when they're eighteen. Or, conversely, teaching your children so much about the real world that they're terribly jaded to it. There are other examples that I can't pull off the top of my head, too.

Anyway, since spanking is such a taboo in the more innocent spectrum of it, it automatically spills over to adult activities too. I have friends online that have been married for years and still don't tell their partner of their fetish for fear it will revile and repulse them.

What I'm saying here is, kids like me don't have any outlet. And even when we're presented with the opportunity for sex itself, it's even harder to try and talk to our partners about exactly what we want from the experience. Teenagers are certainly more judgmental than adults, and there's always that fear that he'll tell his friends or something equally as awful. Any 'scandalous' secret or tidbit needs to be hidden completely or it'll spread to all the wrong circles like wildfire.

What do you think about this subject? I want people's opinions and insights. Just please no comments like 'you're too young to be having sex' or the like. Truthfully, these days, if you don't know for a fact that a teenager is celibate, then it's usually safe to assume they're banging like bunnies. Where I come from, anyway.

--Z
 
boomerang
 
  3  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 06:07 am
There is nothing "these days" about these days. Teenagers have always been preoccupied with sex. Most of the people here are adults and as such we've all experienced teenagerhood.

As adults most of us have years and years of sexual experience and adventure, I doubt there's much that would shock or outrage anyone here short of pedophilia or sadism. In that regard I suppose I agree with you that teenagers are more judgmental.
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 06:25 am
I wish you love with someone who accepts all of your foibles (and I hope you do the same in return). This is a wish I have for most people.

As for your teen status, the only thing I can point out to you -- which I imagine you will deny, as I know I certainly did -- is that there can be quite a power differential when one partner is technically, legally a child and the other is an adult. There is a dynamic there and it's not necessarily a healthy one. So just be aware of that.
iamzandra
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 07:24 am
@jespah,
Lol, I have no interest in being someone's jailbait, don't worry about that. People my age tend to annoy me more often than not, but I'm not going to get involved with someone older until I myself am older. There is a lot I'm going to miss about the irresponsibility of my supposed childhood, and I know I'm going to look back at this time in my life as an adult and more than likely say 'you had it good, girl...' but at the moment, I can't wait to grow up. You only want what you can't have, I suppose. Wink
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 07:48 am
@iamzandra,
I'd not thought of consensual spanking as something anyone would get their knickers in a knot about......have you looked widely enough do you think?
iamzandra
 
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Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 09:12 am
@dlowan,
Knickers... :grin: are you english, by chance? My best friend is. But yeah, a lot of people class it as weird, or gross, or say that you need therapy for wanting to be hurt. *eye roll*

I've looked about as widely as I can at this point, I'm afraid. :/ I can't really do a whole lot about it at my age. It's not like I can just go out to a bar and pick up guys, or any other sorta relaxed setting... It seems that as a teenager, every situation you're faced with when you're with your peers needs to be some big dramatic thing. It's really annoying. :/
0 Replies
 
iamzandra
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 09:14 am
@boomerang,
Well, I've not had the time to know if these days are different than older days.

And the lack of harsh judgement is really why I came here to rant than go anywhere else. I've read around the site and you all seem like such a nice lot. Smile
joefromchicago
 
  3  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 09:45 am
@iamzandra,
iamzandra wrote:
I personally don't abstain from sex, although I do take the proper precautions, I have pills and always use a condom to prevent STDs.

There are pills for that?

iamzandra wrote:
My personal fetish, while a common one, is not something anyone wants to come out about. So you like leather? You can buy leather pants at a clothing store. Wear them around to entice your partner and take things from there in the bedroom. So you have a foot fetish? Make part of your foreplay a foot massage. But you like to be spanked? That's a taboo.

Oh please. Spanking has been in the standard repertoire of sexual fetishes since Sacher-Masoch first uttered "thank you miss, may I have another?" It's about as vanilla as a fetish can be. If you can't find someone who won't at least be GGG about indulging your fetish for spanking, you just haven't looked hard enough.

iamzandra wrote:
What I'm saying here is, kids like me don't have any outlet.

You mean you kids don't masturbate any more? When did that stop?
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 10:01 am
I was just going to launch into something about masturbation . . .

Look, if you are obsessed with sexual thoughts all the time, and overwheming desire to be spanked, AT THE EXPENSE of having normal teenage experiences, then get some help.

Can you put this into place? or is it taking over your world?
Many people have fetishes, but they learn to bring them out at the appropriate time.
iamzandra
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 03:13 pm
@joefromchicago,
Pills as in birth control pills... As for my fetish being one of the more normal ones whereas fetishes are concerned, I know that. I said it was more common. But if you try to get another teenager to spank you, they think you're weird or gross.

And yes, there's masturbation. But I wasn't talking about a strictly sexual aspect... I can find a partner for that. I meant for a spanking. It just doesn't feel the same when you do it yourself.
iamzandra
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 03:14 pm
@PUNKEY,
I'm not obsessed with it any more than other teenagers are obsessed with normal sex, and it's not taking over my world at all. It's just very frustrating.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 05:39 pm
@iamzandra,
iamzandra wrote:
... you all seem like such a nice lot. Smile


Well, ya got us on a good day. Welcome to A2K and, er, perhaps I should hand you a paddle (we decorated them when I was a sorority pledge and gave them to our big sis's. I had two little sis's so I have a spare. Perhaps I should mail it to ya?)?
iamzandra
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 06:19 pm
@jespah,
LOL. I could just imagine the looks on my parent's faces if you did. Wink
0 Replies
 
joefromchicago
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 08:50 pm
@iamzandra,
iamzandra wrote:
But if you try to get another teenager to spank you, they think you're weird or gross.

That doesn't stop me from asking.

iamzandra wrote:
And yes, there's masturbation. But I wasn't talking about a strictly sexual aspect... I can find a partner for that. I meant for a spanking. It just doesn't feel the same when you do it yourself.

No, I imagine that spanking yourself takes most of the fun out of it. And I can appreciate that your peers may not be as sexually adventurous as you are. Furthermore, as a teenager you, no doubt, travel in rather closed social circles: if word got out about your predilection, it might be rather awkward. At the least, you'll get tagged with an unfortunate nickname, like "Spanky" or "Slappy."

The good news, though, is that you're still young. Once you get out in the world, you'll undoubtedly find a large community of like-minded individuals who will be happy to indulge your fetish. Don't ask me how you all get together. Something like gaydar, I suppose. Find out if there's a convention, like for furries.
iamzandra
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2011 09:34 pm
@joefromchicago,
That has stopped me from asking. Kids around my area are very judgmental. It's hard to find anyone who won't look at you funny for just saying something a bit off color, let alone saying anything about a fetish.

My whole gripe about it really is that I'm too young to get out in the world just yet. But I have heard of spanking parties and one of my friends who lives east wants to get every one of us in our online group together for one when we're all of age. :grin: I am most certainly going to go to that.
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2011 03:18 am
@iamzandra,
iamzandra wrote:

That has stopped me from asking. Kids around my area are very judgmental. It's hard to find anyone who won't look at you funny for just saying something a bit off color, let alone saying anything about a fetish.

My whole gripe about it really is that I'm too young to get out in the world just yet. But I have heard of spanking parties and one of my friends who lives east wants to get every one of us in our online group together for one when we're all of age. :grin: I am most certainly going to go to that.



Erm.... kids are judgmental generally. Soon you will be liberated from the thralls of kiddom, and the world will be yours.

Learn all you can and wait for the joys of a fully developed frontal lobe.

Old Goat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2011 03:30 am
@jespah,
" and, er, perhaps I should hand you a paddle"

And just what is wrong with a good old fashioned spatula?

Paddle indeed! OK if one is going boating I suppose, but they're SO cumbersome in the bedroom.
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2011 04:35 am
@Old Goat,
Ah, you know I love ya! Do I need to spray the spatula with cooking spray first, like I do when making an omelet? I am asking for purely scientific purposes, of course.

zandra -- just say you're taking an early interest in college, and college social life (plus the sorority does philanthropy stuff -- look what an awesome daughter you are!*).

* I'm so evil. Twisted Evil
shewolfnm
 
  2  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2011 07:54 am
@joefromchicago,
joefromchicago wrote:


Oh please. Spanking has been in the standard repertoire of sexual fetishes since Sacher-Masoch first uttered "thank you miss, may I have another?" It's about as vanilla as a fetish can be. If you can't find someone who won't at least be GGG about indulging your fetish for spanking, you just haven't looked hard enough.



This needed to be repeated a few times.

Kids are doing NOTHING NEW in the bedroom and NOTHING NEW when it comes to sex adventures.
Spanking? thats all? Really? Its almost silly to think that people really believe they are 'bad' because they enjoy that.

Im not going to go there on the 'fetish' crowd I know, nor am I going to elaborate on what they do. But if all you want is spanking and all you like is spanking and you are letting your friends' giggles detour you from finding someone else who will like that, then you are just as immature as they are.
No. That isnt a judgment. that is truth.

Of course they will laugh.. and the ones who laugh the hardest? More than likely think just as you do.. they are just too damn scared to say so . Wink

If you want to have a comfortable space talking about spanking with your friends , start it off as a big joke. Make jokes about it, walk around and slap yourself on the behind. But have the personality and the confidence to not only back that up, but to make a big scene out of it and get the laughs you want. Really...humor is the best introduction to things. No one needs to know anyway that you prefer it, but those who are sharing the same thoughts as you will find comfort and humor in it and you will make your place simply .

Spanking is not 'taboo'... all teenagers think something to do with sex is 'taboo' because they think they invented it. It seems common that teenagers feel as though they are sexual pioneers and their parents and other adults are only missionary vanilla sexual types. Laughing that could not be further from the truth.

When you get out of high school, you will learn that your friends opinions of you, and what makes them giggle at you, and your perceived status among them is NOT important and is rather silly. It is SO freeing too!!
Unfortunately the only thing you have experienced is high school and its drama so you have no real experience to draw on when it comes to how to ignore them and realizing the lack of importance they really have in your life. That is stressful in itself and I completely understand it. But hear me and others... high school life..ISNT important. Being yourself is. And being comfortable in your own skin IS..

If all you are into is spanking, your own shyness here is the larger part of problem, not them. but again comes the uphill swim against high school kids. Not taking the time to look for a match is only your fault. There is a certain type of personality that would be very open with that.. though majority of people are probably ok with it to a certain extent. Start looking into your cos play groups, character ...anime...etc.. That will be common there.

Spanking isnt taboo. Spanking isnt deviant. Spanking is SO common even vanilla porn has it.

really.. you are common... not out of the norm at all. Smile
Ceili
 
  7  
Reply Tue 12 Jul, 2011 08:55 am
If you think this is difficult. Try paying a mortgage.
 

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