I do need to move out! I am 100% in agreement that I do. He asked me to move in with him, but he doesn't have the space to have three people and three dogs, since it's a one bedroom place. I also don't feel comfortable signing a lease with him since he lives paycheck to paycheck, and still hasn't given me back the $1500 that he owes me from three years ago. When I tried to move in with my friend (34F), he said I was "ditching" him for my friends because he wasn't "good enough" to live with. I held off, and now she's buying a house instead. I work 1145pm-1215am, so living alone and getting home at 1am isn't really a safe option for me, but I am aware that other people do this.
Also, to comment on the grandmother thing.. Unfortunately, she is not going to make it very long. I'm being paid to take care of her, so it would fall on me. It's safer if I don't work, and I'll be paid to take care of my grandmother. I'm not sure why this is a huge deal to him, besides the fact that I can't just drop what I'm doing to take care of him and his son like I usually do. I'm also a full time student, so I will be able to do my homework that I couldn't do while working in the ER.
I do agree and think we don't belong together, which I told him many times. He would always win me back over by apologizing and saying he will make me a priority, but never does. After this last time, I told him if he didn't start showing me he cares, I couldn't be with him. He thinks me "putting my friends first" is making plans with them and not ditching them to hang out with him, or going to lunch with my friend for an hour and THEN going to spend the weekend at his place. He even got mad at me for "ditching him" during my sister's baby shower that I helped plan and host, and he got mad that I didn't text him during the two hour party. He got mad that I still went to my sister's wedding without him since he wasn't invited (my entire family hates him for constantly breaking up with me, telling me I'm a piece of ****, telling me I don't do enough, etc.) I'm constantly told I don't do enough for him and his son, and the things I did "don't count" because it happened in the past. He also gave away my cat of 8 months because he didn't want him in his house, yet blocked my phone number so I couldn't reach out to take him to my house. He was paying for the cat's food which I said I would reimburse or pay for all together, and he did say MONTHS prior he wanted to get rid of my cat, which I convinced him to keep since we had him for so long. He didn't even tell me he gave my cat away until I got there and asked his son where my cat was, and his son looked panicked and walked to the other room to get his dad.. Then he was confused and angry why I was crying so much and said "I told you I didn't want him in my house" and "you love the cat more than me." Sorry for rambling. At this point, I just needed someone to vent to, since my family and friends are tired of telling me how abusive he is.. I honestly can't tell if it's me because he makes me think that maybe I am crazy, and I am just overreacting to these things.
What really bothers me is he says "I don't see you enough" yet I'm the one driving back and forth between the houses, and he stays home. I used to go see him around 4 times a week (other 3 were spent at my place) but I would have to drive 45 minutes one way. If I have to do homework, I tell him I can't hang out that night because its 1.5 hours driving when I should be studying/writing an essay, but he gets upset that I "don't want to do homework there." The last two weeks he had final exams, I didn't do my homework so I could help him pass. He didn't mention it, but I was over all weekend, and we studied from 10pm-5am for his classes only, not mine.