Hell no. Mo won't go.

I wonder about it too, osso.

When he was potty training he had some underoo things and I thought he just liked having the big picture on the front -- but that didn't explain backward pajamas and backward plain white underpants.

And I thought maybe it was because they looked more like pull-ups when worn backwards. But that was a year and a half ago....

All I know is that he is adamant about having anything with a flap backwards. If you try to sneak it past him and put it on the right way he gets angry.

I've considered switching to men's brief to lead by example but I haven't done it yet!

With sozlet there are things that started for whatever reason and continue because that's the way things are. Especially if it was her idea in the first place.

I could definitely see that the incident you describe would be enough to make him change his mind about Auntie T.

Question (maybe you said this already, sorry), did this happen before or after the incident described in the very first post on this thread?

If before, it sounds like he's willing to deal with her within some parameters (like, Mom around to make sure she doesn't do anything beyond the pale); if after, it sounds like he already had some doubts about her and the underwear thing decided him.

I'll have to pull out my "Mo diary" of visits to be sure about exactly when it happened but I should be able to figure it out from there.

Hey girly. Just wanted to drop in and see how you and mo are. I hope all is good. Also wanted to ask you if you ever looked into that 123 magic program. Now it is a lil pricey but I just finished watching the video on it and it just sounds great and super easy. Much of what is said on it is very true. And I saw some things that i was doing wrong in it as wel. I started watching it thinking oh yeah this is so not gonna work but he makes a lot of sense in it. I was lucky as the teacher that I put one of the boys into school with uses the program in her everyday class. So she let me barrow the video. she raves about it and how it works great. Anywho hope all in your house hold are well. have a good one.

D_B--

How is the world wagging in your area? You are a woman with complicated responsibilities.

Hold your dominion.

Ohhhh things are going okish.

Some new stuff recently has me a bit flipped out - Mo has started wetting the bed. He's been out of diapers at night for at least a year and now this.

I've been doing a bit of reading over the last day and I think I'll take him in for a doctor visit.

There are a few very serious diabetics in his family and it seems that "secondary nocturnal enurisis" can signal the onset of diabeties or other things.

I don't think it's stress - things have been pretty relaxed around here lately but I can think of a few things that might stress Mo out more than me -- like his no show family or grandma's who want him to spend the night (hell no, Mo won't go).

I haven't yet checked out the 123 Magic - thanks for the nudge. I've been reading about it this morning and think I'll start with the book and move on from there. Thanks.

How are things going with you?

Bedwetting every night? Or just occasionally?

with me they are great now. I did end up having to move Mr 3 I held on as long as I could and when I ended up getting accused of child abuse after reporting that Mr 3 had hit one of the lil ones I said Thats it. Do your investigation and remove ths child from my home. They did and found me innocent. They told me oh well we don't have to move him we just need to prove that you didn't do it. I said oh no if you think these kids are in any danger you take them right now. So I ended up keeping the two and Mr 3 was moved that same day. I learned to know what I can handle and be firm in who I take in. I will be working for county soon and getting away from state. I also found a group of foster parents so that is great. Anywho the home is nice now still have the lil arguements back and forth but nothing like it was. More of a relaxed feel and the other two are even talking more and playing.
Now bed wetting I am dealing with as well. First I thought it was due to the brain damage that he has but the other day we had put him in the bed and closed the door. I was in the kitchen and there is a baby monitor there. I heard that child say as clear as day to his brother "Hmmph I WONT use the stupid Potty". Now this kid acts like he can't talk or use more than a few words and talks at a whisper most of the time. But when he said that it was loud and clear. I could not believe my ears lol. I went back in there and I told him good night, sweet dreams and yes you will use that potty. He looked shocked haah so we'll see what he does next.
Well I've gone on enough. I'm glad you are well. and give mo a big ol hug. Have a great day.

Devious--

Good luck. That kid will be happier with an adult in charge--you both "win".

I hope everything works out for Mr. 3, DB. Good for you in knowing that it wasn't working for him in your home. It sounds like he needs older kids around instead of babies.

I picked up the 123 Magic book today and have only had a chance to read the introduction -- one thing it warns about is using the system on kids who have "exhibited excessive separation anxiety" so I'm going to read the book and proceed with caution.

It looks very interesting though and is well recommended. Thank you.

The bed wetting.....

We used to have an occasional accident once in a while.

We took a three week vacation and had one accident the entire time -- this being in new places around unfamiliar people, etc.

We came home and had no problem.

Mo wet the bed Friday last, this Tuesday, during a short nap on Wednesday and then again last night.

The weather turned rainy and chilly and his allergies have been bad. I read today that allergies can induce bed wetting episodes.

I'm hoping that it is something like allergies. Not diabeties and not some weird reaction to a visit to (and invitation to) overnight at Grandma P's.

He wanted to go to Grandma P's he just didn't want to spend the night. He played all day, had fun, then wanted to come home -- and that is what we did: he came home.

Seeing the doctor is a good idea.

Or Mo, Master of Non-Verbal Communication could just be feeling babyish.

Allergies are a bitch.

Hold your dominion.

Oh that's good. on the video it said it's also works for kids that are hyper active, disabled, and even for kids with some mental delays and vision loss. It is pretty good and I have been using it on Mel and so far so good. Some of the things I saw I know I do like talk to much and show to much emotion when dealing with her. So I have cut that out and just do that 123 and she seems to be ok with it. There are some parts I don't agree with but all in all looks good.

HOLYMARYMOTHEROFGOD!

How's that 1-2-3 thing working for you DB?

I read the book and started introducint the concept and it seemed that I had an "instant cooperater" on my hands.

Yipee.

Then, this morning, all hell broke loose. A tantrum the likes of which I have never seen. A violent, insane tantrum.

I stayed dispassionate, put him in his room and made him serve his time.

The next time I said "That's 1" he said "Oh. Okay." and dropped it.

Interesting.

Boomer--

Didn't you say that Mo had contact with his other family this weekend?

I had to work last Friday so he spent the day with Grandma P.

He really loves to go there though. He's always very excited to be going there and there is never any kind of of separation "scene".

This tantrum today was frightening in it's violence.

Soooo......

At least he hasn't been bed wetting lately.

Were either of Mo's parents wing-ding tantrum throwers?

I don't have the foggiest idea.

Can tantrum throwing have a genetic componet or do you mean did they throw tantrums, as adults, in front of him?

They used to fight in front of him, I do know that. That kind of fighting is very much like tantrums, I think.

Perhaps he's using "tantrum" to express "high emotion"?

I take it the 1-2-3 is a warning system and third time means the Adult has had ENOUGH and will exact the promised punishment?

Perhaps Mo's ready to learn control if you're ready to enforce control.

I knew a pre-kindergarten kid who threw a wing-ding of a tantrum: shouting, tears, drumming his heels on the floor, threatening adults, threatening property....

After six or seven minutes in Very High Gear he was shoved in his room to cool off. He appeared in two or three minutes and announced, "I feel much better now."

Passion is much admired in actors and painters and poets and musicians, but no one has ever had public interviews with the mothers of actors and painters and poets and musicians....

I've often lamented that traditional time out doesn't work with Mo and this 1-2-3 thing is interesting in that it address' behavoir on a different level.

You issue a series of warnings and give the child time (sometimes it's only seconds) to rethink what they are doing. You have to remain dispassionate.
Unlike time out, the "break" can take place in their room and they can do other things.

The thing I've found with the counting is that it serves as a good reminder for me to remain unemotional.

Mo had only spent maybe a minute in very high gear. When I put him (okay, dragged him from under the table, kicking and screaming and hitting) in his room it only took a couple of minutes before he was saying "I've calmed down now".

We went from 0 to violence very, very quickly.

Thankfully we went from violence to calm almost as quickly.

One thing the book says is that things will probably get worse before they get better.

I hope that this was the "worse".

1-2-3 sounds good to me.

The system provides a framework for you both. Mo, not the clock, determines when he's settled down.

He's making the decisions so you don't have to worry about his tender psyche--just those parts of you that are in kicking distance.

I take it the rest of the day was serene?