0
   

Why am I worried about someone I’m supposed to “hate”?

 
 
Reply Fri 8 May, 2020 12:45 pm
Hey,

In another post, I talked about how there was another woman who is interested in my boyfriend (Which she has made openly known to me). She hasn’t necessarily made a move on him and hasn’t been particularly mean or threatening towards me. I don’t exactly have any ill feelings towards her, but I don’t necessarily feel comfortable with her and I can’t help but feel like... I don’t like her. I wouldn’t say hate as that is too strong of a word to describe this situation, but I just don’t “like” her because of her feelings towards my boyfriend. I understand this is probably based off of my own insecurity and truthfully, I feel quite guilty for “not liking” her. I don’t know how to stop this feeling.

Anyways, I noticed that over the past two months (mostly due to COVID-19) this girl has become quite reclusive and not as active on social media. (Yes, we follow each other... crazy, right?) I know it sounds weird, but I can’t help but feel a bit worried about her? Is this odd? I’m curious if she is okay and how she is doing during this difficult time. Supposedly, I “hate” her, yet I am concerned over her well being? To add, as I have stated before I DON’T want to hate her either and I don’t think hate would even be the right word to describe it. Is it weird to feel this way over someone you are “supposed” to dislike?
 
View best answer, chosen by IntoTheNight
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 May, 2020 02:41 pm
@IntoTheNight,
Sweetie, between this and the other post you wrote 10 minutes before this one, you really need to get a hobby.
IntoTheNight
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 May, 2020 03:16 pm
@chai2,
Don’t know why you must feel the need to be rude. These were questions I had been thinking about for a long time, so obviously I would post them all at once to get them off my chest. Thanks for being a useless troll though, especially during this time of COVID-19. Maybe YOU should find a new hobby as well.
jespah
  Selected Answer
 
  4  
Reply Fri 8 May, 2020 03:18 pm
@IntoTheNight,
Care about people's well-being. Or not.

Hate Nazis. Hate pedophiles. This gal? She's not worth your energy.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Fri 8 May, 2020 03:52 pm
@IntoTheNight,
IntoTheNight wrote:

especially during this time of COVID-19.


The first official pulling the COVID19 card.

This girl tells you she's going to make a play for your boyfriend?
Tell her to back the **** off.

As jes said, feel bad for her, don't feel bad for her, no difference.

IntoTheNight
 
  0  
Reply Fri 8 May, 2020 08:16 pm
@chai2,
There is no “card” being played. Don’t flatter yourself into thinking I’d pull something special out of my ass for you. It is only the reality of the situation, which obviously works in your favor as you have had an account since 2009 and seem to waste most of your time “answering” multiple questions a day. Could have just said the latter of your post from the beginning. Thanks for the advice!
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 May, 2020 08:35 pm
Just because you don't like them doesn't mean you have to hate them. We're supposed to 'worry' about everyone else.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  2  
Reply Fri 8 May, 2020 08:36 pm
@IntoTheNight,
Chai gets to the point, but she's not rude.
IntoTheNight
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 8 May, 2020 09:02 pm
@bobsal u1553115,
I don’t recall asking whether you thought the other user was rude or not. Three cheers for trying to be a warrior—trying to save the day. Regardless, I’ll still thank you for taking your time to answer the question.
bobsal u1553115
 
  3  
Reply Fri 8 May, 2020 09:41 pm
@IntoTheNight,
Quote:
I don’t recall asking whether you thought the other user was rude or not.


Now that is rude. I've known Cha for years. This is a free discussion site and neither you or I get to make the rules.

I saved noone's day, keep all three of your cheers to yourself.

Another thing I know about Chai is she doesn't need me or anyone else to save her day.

I'll continue to opine as I see fit.
IntoTheNight
 
  0  
Reply Sat 9 May, 2020 01:43 am
@bobsal u1553115,
Thanks for the story—as if I didn’t already know that you and Chai were friends. It was pretty obvious by the way you decided to pull a whole “white knight” move here. And since this is a free platform, my opinion still stands. I think she was incredibly rude when she initially addressed my question with her statement “Sweetie, between this and the post you posted 10 minutes ago, you need to get a hobby”. It was unnecessary and she could have answered with the response she had in her later post. But, hey! Free and open discussion, right? Both ends can be just as hostile with each other in that case!
IntoTheNight
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 May, 2020 01:50 am
@bobsal u1553115,
Aside from that, all I will say is that I have no intention to start some fight with a random person on the internet. I appreciate your response and your effort to address my “issues” respectfully, so let’s just leave it at that.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 May, 2020 09:00 am
@IntoTheNight,
Quote:
you decided to pull a whole “white knight” move here


But I wasn't. I was trying to disabuse you of your misconception. Your standing opinion is this case is based on misconception.

Quote:
I think she was incredibly rude


As just one of many here I can speak beyond your impression and tell you unequivocally that it may be your opinion but it is founded on a false impression. I'm not the only one here who's known Chai for over a decade and she's been to the point, but never, ever rude and certainly not in this instance. She was giving you good advice. I believe, that is it is my opinion, she inadvertently struck a sensitive but truth-y place in you. That says much more about you and Chai's accurate perception of the problem than anything else. I am at a loss to find the hidden hostility in 'sweetie'.

Rest assured, the only 'hostile' end here is your own.

Have a wonderful day.
IntoTheNight
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 May, 2020 11:47 am
@bobsal u1553115,
No nerves were struck here! I think this may just be an issue of miscommunication due to generational differences (which, is what I am assuming). In Millennial “slang”, the use of the word “Sweetie” is really meant as a sassy, passive aggressive insult. To me, that sounded as if she was trying to insinuate a fight. I now see that isn’t the case here. But, again, thank you for the advice. I have already selected an “Answer” and won’t be looking too deep into this situation anymore.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

dating a friend - Question by DrumW22
Online dating question - Question by Tyler888
I'm 31 and bad at sex - Question by BadAtSex
Is he into me?? - Question by AnnaVenice
help is appreciated - Question by kevanc tarkan
I can't change who i am - Question by Kaykae97
 
  1. Forums
  2. » Why am I worried about someone I’m supposed to “hate”?
Copyright © 2020 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.04 seconds on 09/30/2020 at 01:58:24