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I don't like her sex attitude

 
 
Reply Wed 11 Dec, 2019 02:27 pm
My girlfriend's sex attitude is garbage. And I just can't find a way to fix it, and get to her. When I try to expain her some things, she plays dumb. I'm sexually very frustrated and I just can't take it anymore. What to do next?
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Dec, 2019 05:13 pm
@RigelStar,
Obviously speak with her.frankly. Was her attitude always this way? Is she under stress, has an illness? Ask questions about what she needs sexually. Get her to talk. Seek out counseling if you’re really intent on making it work.

If it doesn’t work, or you can’t make heads nor tails, then find a new g/f.
chai2
 
  4  
Reply Wed 11 Dec, 2019 07:52 pm
@Ragman,
Sounds to me like this dude wants her to do stuff that she doesn't want to do.

So he calls it a garbage attitude.

Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Dec, 2019 08:09 pm
@chai2,
You think so? Now hopefully we can hear from OP.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Wed 11 Dec, 2019 08:13 pm
@chai2,
Geez Chai, that's kind of harsh. Many of us want more from sex than missionary position in the dark.

I am of the belief that when you have sex with someone, you should do whatever gets them off. Otherwise what's the point?

Dan Savage coined the term GGG to explain that the best sexual partners aee good, giving and game. If that doesnt describe your partner, it is time to look elsewhere.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Dec, 2019 08:41 pm
@RigelStar,
RigelStar wrote:

My girlfriend's sex attitude is garbage. And I just can't find a way to fix it, and get to her. When I try to expain her some things, she plays dumb. I'm sexually very frustrated and I just can't take it anymore. What to do next?


Ragman...

He thinks something about her is "garbage"
He feel the need to "fix" it, and her.
He thinks she's playing "dumb"
He's very frustrated sexually
He "can't take it anymore"

Do you read anything that makes you think he has any respect for her, is willing to consider her take on all this, or considers her an equal?

Picture a girlfriend of yours saying all of these things about you, with no explanations whatsoever.

Sounds like he doesn't like to hear, or accept "no".

Even the title of this thread "I don't like...."

What about what she likes?
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Wed 11 Dec, 2019 09:18 pm
@chai2,
Gender has nothing to do with it. A man feeling sexually frustrated should be given the same respect that a woman would be given.

If a sex partner explains to me they want me to do something (or to do something to me) that will turn them on, I will do it (with very view exceptions such as danger of lasting physical harm). This applies whether my partner is male or female. Of course I expect this to be reciprocal.

If my partner is not GGG, I first talk to them. Then I would leave. I would find it frustrating.
ekename
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2019 01:28 am
This is clearly a case of mistaken altitude and latitude in the cross currants of the xmas cake.

Cambridge Dictionary

attitude noun (POSITION)

[ C ] literary
a position of the body:
She lay sprawled across the sofa, in an attitude of complete abandon.


Move.


roger
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2019 02:24 am
@ekename,
Still unclear on whatever her attitude is - or was.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2019 03:28 am
@roger,
Geez, I don't know.....maybe he wants her to dress like Pepe La'Peau and she wants him to dress like Clarabell......this is above my pay-grade.
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2019 07:10 am
@chai2,
You’ve got a point there, Chai.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2019 07:26 am
@Ragman,
Thank you Ragman
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2019 07:29 am
@glitterbag,
You people have boring sex lives....
vikorr
 
  2  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2019 06:28 pm
@maxdancona,
I agree with Chai on this - the language used is very disrespectful. You can be frustrated without looking at your girlfriend in such a way.

As for what he likes sexually vs what she likes sexually - it may simply be a compatibility issue. Not everyone is in't bdsm, or public sex, or filming, or group sex, or the many other different versions of turn on that people experience. And if they aren't, they shouldn't be told they have a garbage attitude. It should simply be recognised that there may be a compatibility issue, then thought given to how big of an issue it is.
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2019 06:30 pm
@vikorr,
I am curious how Chai would have responsided if the poster presented herself as a woman and made the same complaint.
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2019 06:32 pm
@maxdancona,
Perhaps differently. It doesn't make her view any less valid, though if it is not done in the reverse, then there would of course be a double standard at play.
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2019 06:36 pm
@vikorr,
In my opinion, people have the right to express frustration with their sexual partner. Generally this means that you shouldn't be with said partner, but there is nothing wrong with expressing your frustration.
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2019 06:59 pm
@maxdancona,
The OP doesn't call his girlfriend names and doesn't attack her personally.

He says she doesn't have a good attitude. That she doesn't listen to him explain what he wants. And, he says that he is frustrated. All of his complaints are based on her behavior and how it makes him feel.

Having a partner that listens to you and cares about how you are feeling is a reasonable desire no matter what your gender is. I don't think he deserves abuse
vikorr
 
  2  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2019 08:29 pm
@maxdancona,
People do have the right to express their frustration (and even anger) - that's pretty much what I said. I also said that they should do it in the right way.

He doesn't call her names, but he comes to a room full of strangers, tells them nothing positive about her, gives no version from her side, and uses a barrage of very negative phrases about her without clear explanation/example. Not only that, but says that he has tried to fix her (ie. his opinion is that she is broken, and he is alright, a helper, but he can't fix this broken person). Given their close intimate relationship - it speaks of his attitude to her in general, and it is not just unfavourable (towards him) but disrespectful towards her.
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2019 08:35 pm
@vikorr,
You are making stuff up. He never says he "tried to fix her". He says he tried to "fix it" (where the subject of the sentence is her behavior). The fact he uses an impersonal pronoun makes this clear. And he never says anything close to "she is broken". You are pulling stuff out of your ass.

What he says is that she isn't giving sexually (something everyone has the right to expect in a sexual partner).

The more I write about this, the more it seems like male-bashing. A women who came to complain that her partner had a bad attitude would have gotten sympathy.

 

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