Am I a paedophile

This is the core issue. In cultures where these kinds of marriages are common , the couple do not make the decision to contract the marriage, older adults do and for their own purposes. In a culture such as our own where the couple make the decision, the power equation is a major consideration in establishing the age of consent.

Then however there is Will and Ariel Durant. When they were married she was 14, he was 27 and her teacher.

http://www.willdurant.com/home.html

http://www.willdurant.com/ariel.htm

Further in a culture where the adults decide the marriage fate of young girls are the older husband of very young wive pedophiles, was Will Durant, or for that matter Loretta Lynn's (country singer) husband? She was 14 when she was married. In both of these case the girl's parents approved the marriage.

I do not feel very comfortable about the marriage I originally posted as an example, but I feel even less comfortable about what I regard as the misuse of phycology to classify the males, in our culture, who enter into these marriages. They may (probably do) have problems, but it is not pedophilia.

NoNe--

Passion makes non-grammarians of us all. Your English is just fine, particularly for an irate mother.

Acquiunk--

In the last 100 years the Western World has drawn a lot of hard and fast lines between Innocent Childhood and the Adult World.

Children are no longer cheap labor or subject to brutal parental exploitation. They are also kept out of the work force, in part, to ensure that there are more jobs for adults.

Children like the rest of us are sexual beings and the trouble with sex is that sex is frequently followed by babies--or STD's, but let us keep it simple.

I admire the Durants--and I shudder at the accounts of the jackboot Mormons who swap thirteen year old daughters as brides.

The older I get, the more I think that contraceptives in the water supply is an idea with some potential both for good and for perversion.

A lot of men have admitted feeling attracted to under-age girls here.
(Under 16, lets say)

Man, I don't get it.

Who wants to talk about David Beckham, fashion labels, school exams, whose going out with who, and all that ****?
Teenage girls are screamers, dreamers and preeners (a lot, anyway)

I'm attracted to women, but not the ones that dress girlie or act like teenagers.
Sexual fantasy is normal, agreed. (And we can all apprechiate beauty in others, but why does it have to be about power?)

In case you're wondering, my 'fantasy female' is Shannyn Sossamon.
In 2009 she'll be 30.

www.fan-sites.org/sossamon/gallery/albums/userpics/10001/jeffreynicholson03.jpg

www.fan-sites.org/sossamon/gallery/

Plump, bubblegum babes? You can keep 'em.

Peace,
Endy

I've just googled "irate mother", from the examples, seems like irate means mean or angry, so logically, u called me "a mean mom"
Well, I am just 20, do not have kids yet, it was just what I felt.
I have a little brother, who is 14 now. I was the one who used to take him to kinder garden, help him to dress up and take shower, feed him and stuff, because my parents used to travel a lot, because of their work, life style etc. He is a very good teenager, and at the age of 7 he used to go to the swimming pool, as my parents wanted us to be into sports. I used to take private classes with my English teacher, so I used to leave him at the pool with his supervisor for two hours, and pick him up after my class, and we used to go home together. Once, I came and could not found him. I asked his supervisor, she told me he was around somewhere, but could not explain me where the hell he went. I was in panic. We lived close(about two miles from my school), I ran home, did not know where he went, I was a child myself(about 11 or 12) but got so scared and felt that responsibility for my little one. I found him at the door crying. I asked him what happened, he told me, a guy was watching him in the pool, and when he went to change he was waiting for him at the entrance to the changing room, and offered him to GIVE HIM A BLOW JOB. My little brother explained it to me like this "He told me to put his penis in my mouth". My brother ran home, the guy followed him, but either did not want to follow him any futher or I dunno what, thanks god he did not catch him. I was so sad that he experienced that. Do u know the feeling, that some bastard, stepped on the holiest, the most loved thing u have? I wish I could've kill that guy. My little one was so silly, that when he was running, he thought We will get mad at him if he will lose his backpack and stuff, that wass carrying all that all the way home. Sometimes, I remember that, I really want to cry, and I think WHAT COULD'VE HAPPEN, IF MY BROTHER COULD NOT GET HOME? OR WE LIVED FUTHER??? I just get scared.
And now my own experience.
Once my mom told me to get some milk from the diary. I went to the store, bought the gallon of milk and when I was walking home, i Just felt thursty. Do u know this things, where u can lean forward and have some water? How is it called, normally they put one in the buildings. U press the button and the water comes out. So, there was one, while I was drinking, A guy on a bike came(maybe 30-40??) he told me, "hey, can u hold my bike, while I'll have some water?" I said ok. I was holding his bike, he came from the behind and told me, "Not like this, like this" and hugged me. I screamed. He started touching me between my legs, I was wearing a skirt. I was screaming, he kissed my lips and just left. I came home all white and could not explain what happened, all I knew was that whatever happened, it was bad and I felt so DIRTY. After nightmares for couple weeks, I woke up one night, went to my parents bedroom and confessed. Still remember how better I felt, I kind of washed off that feeling of Guilt.
and now U tell me, Do I have enough reasons to hate pedophiles and those who stare at kids? U should experience it, I guess, before talking about mental stuff, "natural" or "normal" stuff, like some of u try to call it.

NoNe, you realize, of course, that you are not talking about pedophiles exclusively; you are talking about pedophalic rapists. What about someone who is attracted to youngsters but would never consider having sex with one? I'm not referring to myself. I have always, as I said elsewhere, preferred women older than myself, something which some people consider "abnormal." Like Benjamin Franklin, I see great advantages in sex with older women. Of course, I'm getting so old now that sex with "older women" might require necrophilia and THAT IS perverse.

None--

As I used the term, "an irate mother" would mean a motherly woman who was angry that anyone would hurt her child--or any child.

As for "mean mother" that brought back memories of the time when my sons were toddlers. In American supermarkets the check out stations are lined with candy and gum so that people will pick up items on impulse and children will pester their parents to buy-buy-buy.

One night just before payday I explained and explained and explained to a three and a four year old that unlimited candy was not good and right this minute we didn't have the money for candy and it was too close to dinner time....

Finally I threw up my hands and said I am not going to buy you candy because I am a Mean Mommie.

The whole check out line laughted with me.


Believe me, NoNe, I did not mean to insult you. In my books an Irate Mother is usually a Good Woman.

Irate mothers- GOOD mothers. My mums one. I love her to bits. It means she cares.
And as for the whole paedophile thing-
My friend (we're 16) is going out with a 30 (odd- he might be older/younger) year old. I think that age gap is too big, considering he's divorced and has kids. But theres nothing I can do about it. And being a little teenager (and hey, I'm not going to doubt that!) I fancy some older guys. I mean most of them are famous and it's just a "crush" you know. But unlike my friend I'd never go out with someone that much older that me. (Or at least I like to think that(

Eh, she's cute all-right.

Now how the F did I get here?

that's not a good smile..something is hiding behind it

Oooh sorry NoNe... please don't pout those lips at me like that.

Errr... oh yeah, wow, some other bloke thinks Shannyn Sossamon is cute. (And he's right)
Fantastic, wow, whoopie....



Was that any better?

A paedophile is an adult who fancies underdeveloped kids.

the age restrictions is made by society. if u see a 30 year old woman who has an illness that makes her look like she's 8yrs old, youre a paedophile if you find her sexually attractive.

the point here is that he finds women attractive, not underdeveloped kids. its like if youre 70 years old and look at a 25 year old model. you dont know how old she is, but you know she's way younger than you and you still find her attractive.

girls idk even as young as 11 year old can carry a child and have the same body as an 18 year old. its your primal instincts that kick in.

ive been doing a little research on social norms, and the main reasons people act in discust when it comes to things like this: 1: its socially not acceptable. an underdeveloped 18 year old is okay to most people because of the law. and youre afraid what people will think of you if the age difference is too big. 2: many men go for boobs. not many goodlooking young girls hae big sagging tits, so they are not attracting these men. and there are ALOT of men who sees this as a sign of a real woman. just put these two together.

Hi borealace,

You ask the question of whether you are normal for feeling the way you do?
I ask what exactly is a normal way for anybody to feel and also does what anybody else think make any real difference ?
Who gets to decide whether somebody is normal or not because of the way they feel?
I imagine that you must be feeling as though you are in quite a difficult place and therefore looking for some potential answers that could be helpful.
I'm afraid that I can not personally provide any answers as such and maybe nobody can.
I can offer a couple of little bits of advice which you can choose to take or not .
Firstly I would suggest that you do not ask people
Quote
'am I normal for feeling like this?' as people have a tendency to answer and not always in the most tactful way.
What I am trying to say is do not make things harder than they really need to be for yourself as you are not abnormal and hearing differently just is not going to help you.
Next and I advise this quite strongly if you have not already done so find yourself a professional person to go and talk to.
No one can help their sexuality as it is ultimately a matter of chance depending on many different factors that are not in ones control .

Feel free to let me know whether any of what I have said helped in any way.