Am I a paedophile

Priamus, if you feel sexual attraction to children and have any uncertainty regarding your ability to resist temptation, please do the noble thing and seek expert therapy--for your sake and that of some children.
I'm going to therapy, perhaps, because of what I just said about Italian food. I can't believe I said it.... Filet Mignon perhaps.

JL, the original poster is Borealace...

Oops!

the first post in this thread just doesn't make any sense. either you are attracted to them or not, you can't be definitively very attracted to them and definitively not very attracted to them at the same time. you just need to make sense. and your first post does not make ANY sense

Borealace strikes me as a conscientious adult who, for some reason, finds himself attracted to young girls. I think that he has the strength of character to recognize that having sex with them would be a repulsive act, but I also think that the thought appeals to him, though he immediately finds it abhorrent.

I would advise limiting your contact with children as much as possible, avoiding all arousing material connected with children, and possibly finding someone your own age who you feel attracted to. Often there's a specific quality of children that attracts a pedophile; a possible answer is finding an adult who has that characteristic, and transferring your desire to that adult.

Welcome, Alpahomega.

I disagree with your view.

We are complex beings. I suspect our first poster is attracted, but his understanding that this is frowned upon and unacceptable to most makes him disgusted with his own attraction.

It seems his ethical beliefs also make this atraction unacceptable to him.

ok so whats the problem i like and don't like a lot of things at the same time. i don't see anything to debate here.

Well, I suppose that is one of the reasons why it is Borealace who wishes to discuss it, not you! Lol.

why does he want to talk about it though? lots of people like and dislike things at the same time and it isn't a problem. i just don't see any issue here.

The original poster is worried that he's a pedophile; that's what there is to discuss--do his feelings indicate latent pedophilia or are his feelings more or less normal?

if he doesn't know if he wants to do little girls or not then hes just confused. maybe its cause he never actually did it before. like how virgins are nervous about sex before they do it - they don't know what its going to be like. maybe that is the source of his confusion. he thinks he might like it and doesn't want to try it out so is in a really bad situation.

So, could we say then alphaomega, that it is probably safer for him to talk it out here than go out and try to experience it on his own? Given the nature of his dilemma of course.... or would you prefer he go out, like that nervous virgin and give it a whirl? Hmmmm??

Or perhaps he's worried that he's a candidate for the type of criminal voted most likely to be gang-raped and shanked in prison.

all i'm saying is either its an infinite dilema or he needs to resolve it quickly by himself, say, ok thats tempting but cause of x and y i won't think about it and put it out of my mind. then end it. he doesn't need to "be bothered" by it so it was like i said at first - this isn't an issue. if he tried it and loves it then it might be harder to forget about but then theres nothing anyone can do. thats it thats the entire story i don't see why there needs to be any more discussion LADY.

Unfortunately, it appears that the beginner of this thread has bowed out; the distinction of whether he's talking about sexually mature young females or prepubescent females is important to determining whether or not he meets the clinical definition of pedophilia.

Whenever people find themselves doing or feeling something their society has taught them is deviant, they frequently want or need to find out if it truly is. For years masturbation was considered dirty and sinful (in some religions it still is); once people found out that just about everyone did it, it ceased to be deviant. Homosexuality was actually classified as a mental disorder, but now there's a great deal of evidence to suggest that homosexuality is an inborn trait possessed by some rather than a disorder. The debate here is over whether or not the beginner of this thread's feelings are normal or deviant.

First of all if Borealace thinks he has a problem he probably should get counseling ASAP. If for no other reason than his own peace of mind.

When ever this topic come up I think of Will and Ariel Durant. They were important and very well know American "progressive" intellectuals of the first and middle third of the 20th century. His book the Story of Philosophy, and their encyclopedic multivolume history The Story of Civilization, not only met a high standard of scholarship, they won the Pulitzer Prize for history in 1968, but were also best sellers. The Durants made a comfortable living off their publications. They were married in 1912. He was 26 and a teacher, she was 13 and his student. That marriage violated every present day standard of teacher/student, adult /adolescent, male/female relations. If they did it today he would be in jail. They died within days of each other in 1981. She first, he could not live without her.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_Durant

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ariel_Durant

This does not in any way justify the exploitation of young girls by adult males and as I have said if the original poster thinks he as a problem he should seek counseling and possibly therapy. But on rare occasion generalizations on this topic can also be misleading.

I agree with Mills and Aquiunk re whether or not our starter poster, Borealace, is all so out of line.

For many years now, people and ads have vied for early sexuality, and puberty has edged earlier. I don't know about either of those as cause and effect... nutrition may have something to do with all this, with additives of societal backup.

Don't tell me the average hetero male doesn't think one or the other young thing is fetching.

I am not clear, even now, that our poster, Borealace, doesn't just mean that he finds piquance in the blossoming girl.

Before we get all smug, blossoming girls are piquant to many of us, not least Sally Mann, the photographer who has taken a lot of grief over that.

I will admit myself, at 63, to thinking some guy of, oh, eighteen - well, no, I don't, since most ads are too slick.
But let us conjecture that I could think a guy of say 15 - 25 is, er, darling. Darling is a word tossed around by me in revolt, and humor. Anyway, let's say I see his sexuality.
That is simple appreciation.

Everyone (mostly) on this thread has assumed - TROUBLE. The guy may just be tuned in to nuance and not be any kind of perpetrator. People should be careful where they jump to in condemning a person.

If he doesn't want sex with these particular people, why is the greater body of this thread whomping on him?

And he may be admitting getting off on this. I didn't hear that, exactly.

Given all the religiosity flying around, the fellow may be afraid of normal appreciation.

Precisely the problem. We have such a kneejerk reaction to this sort of thing that we can't seem to analyze it objectively.

Agreed.

And if adolescent sexuality is taboo, why is it the body of advertising is devoted to it?







edit to improve my spelling...