Am I a paedophile

Mills75 wrote:

The original poster is worried that he's a pedophile; that's what there is to discuss--do his feelings indicate latent pedophilia or are his feelings more or less normal?

I guess some here may need an analogy:
If you are a straight man, who has a wife, and engages in heterosexual sex with their partner, but thinks about being anally penetrated by a man, is he a homosexual?
What distinction do we draw betwen labels vis a vis thought and actions.

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Borelace, you ask: "So, you're saying that there are probably thousands of men who feel the same way...biologically." How about millions, when we see that in the anthropological record men throughout the world become attracted to and marry girls as soon as they reach puberty? In our kind of (Western industrialized society), we tend to keep young people "infantalized" for a long time. Such people are not prepared for adult sexual life and should be sheltered from it until they are ready. But your urges are NOT in themselves a problem, so long as you can inhibit their expression in behavior. But, tell me, who doesn't have that problem in one form or another? It's the classic Freudian task of the "Ego's" mediation between the drives of the "Id" and the moral restrictions of the "Superego". Your "pedophilia" is one variation on a universal human problem.

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If we use -phile as attraction, rather than action, I am guessing there are more than thousands of males attracted to young sexually mature females, more like millions, and, this is out of my ken but seems possible, females to females, and moving along, males to males. I'm trying to envision females to males, and will just go with that, say, fifteen year old males must be attractive to some 34 year old women. At least the oh, hey! element. The budding and blooming period is a key point in human life.

Mills straightened me out earlier, nicely, that pedophile by academic psychiatric def means action - or did I get that wrong, nuts, I will have to look back at the posts.

But he, or she, was specific re the liking being for prepubescent. I am not remembering if he clarified re acting.

Liking pubescent doesn't seem sick to me - I am guessing it is at least a tweak in many people's minds even in western culture. Acting on the liking is a power move that is unconscionable to me.

Liking prepubescent, then - while I can imagine it - I think the person needs intervention past the type that has probably already happened to him, or, I suppose, her.

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borealace wrote:

So, you're saying that there are probably thousands of men who feel the same way...biologically?

No; if a man is sexually healthy, he will be attracted to a sexually mature female (unless she does not meet his criteria of what constitutes 'attractive'). We're not talking "thousands," we're talking millions.

Now, there are layers of attraction. I'm talking about the most superficial layer: physical attraction. Being sexually/physically attracted to someone no more means you're going to have sex with that person than seeing a really cool car means you're going to rush out and buy or steal it.

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Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

According to dictionary.com, and common sense:

Pedophile: An adult who is sexually attracted to a child or children.

YES, you are a pedophile. You're attracted to children, period. I don't know how the hell there's eight pages of "discussion" to answer this simple question.

Perhaps if you had bothered to read any of the last eight pages you wouldn't have to ask the question (and you would also realize the inadequacies of the definition you cite).

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Mills, slappy has a persona here on a2k which pushes envelopes many of the times he posts. I don't know myself if this slappy the envelope pusher or the realslap speaking.

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If I were attracted to "attractive" white-haired elderly ladies, say in their late seventies or early eighties, would that make me a senilophile? And if so, would that be a perversion?

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Much as I was edging towards, Jl, with my intimations of attraction - ok, maybe not actual attraction - but certainly a pull to elements of aging as piquant in -eh- a seemingly unageless body (or of course, later).

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ossobuco wrote:

Mills, slappy has a persona here on a2k which pushes envelopes many of the times he posts. I don't know myself if this slappy the envelope pusher or the realslap speaking.

Oh, was my response too simple/obvious for this thread?

Not you personally, but I'm amazed at how many times people on this board just outsmart themselves.

That definition I posted is from the f'n dictionary. Yes, it's a simple definition, because it's a simple diagnosis: HE IS A PEDOPHILE. I don't see how there's any inadequacies there. It's one thing to drive down the street, see a skirt, check it out and think "oops, didn't realize it's a kid," rather than "I'm sexually attracted to junior high schoolers, and I realize it's a constant thing that's on my mind."

If you're attracted to kids, you're a pedophile. Go into all this evolutionary crap you want, but what it boils down to is this guy would f#ck kids if it wasn't for the laws.

And if you EVER do act on it, I hope you're mercilessly beaten. I noticed the thread starter mentioned something about how it's now "less LIKELY" now he's older....that means the possibility still exists.

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I agree with Slappy.

To try to find excuses for what it is clear it´s to waste time.

Quote:

If you're attracted to kids, you're a pedophile. Go into all this evolutionary crap you want, but what it boils down to is this guy would f#ck kids if it wasn't for the laws.

That is the point; I think it´s what everybody has read. And that is a perversion. A danger perversion when we talk about children, not older people. To satisfy sexual urges with children goes against nature. No animal except human does that.

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Look, all the armchair psychology stuff is interesting, but some of you don't realize you're off-topic 90% of the time while trying to outsmart and debate each other.

I read a thread that is titled "am I pedophile," read someone admitting they're sexually attracted to children, and answered the question.

Perversions has nothing to do with this topic. The question is more cut and dry. Go start another thread on what is and isn't a perversion.

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ossobuco wrote:

Mills, slappy has a persona here on a2k which pushes envelopes many of the times he posts. I don't know myself if this slappy the envelope pusher or the realslap speaking.

Thanks for the heads-up (though which envelope remains to be seen).

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Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

I read a thread that is titled "am I pedophile," read someone admitting they're sexually attracted to children, and answered the question.

Answered the question? Yes, I suppose it is an answer--an overly simplistic one that reflects a stunted world view and limited understanding of anthropology, biology and psychology.

Quote:

Perversions has nothing to do with this topic. The question is more cut and dry. Go start another thread on what is and isn't a perversion.

Since pedophilia is a perversion, what is and is not a perversion is very near the heart of this discussion.

Priamus wrote:

I agree with Slappy.

To try to find excuses for what it is clear it´s to waste time.

Quote:

If you're attracted to kids, you're a pedophile. Go into all this evolutionary crap you want, but what it boils down to is this guy would f#ck kids if it wasn't for the laws.

That is the point; I think it´s what everybody has read. And that is a perversion. A danger perversion when we talk about children, not older people. To satisfy sexual urges with children goes against nature. No animal except human does that.

Neither you nor Slappy have actually read the thread, have you?

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I agree with Slappy that it is problematical whether or not pedophilia is a perversion. We are assuming that it is, without coming to terms with the nature of "perversion."
Priamus tells us that to "satisfy sexual urges with children goes against nature. No animal except human does that." I can imagine that "perversion" here might refer to "going against nature" in the mild sense that sex with prepubescent children cannot contribute to the survival of the species--unless, of course, it does in unobvious ways, just as masturbation increases the male sperm count, supposedly. But in this spirit I asked if sexual attraction to post menopausal women is a perversion. It does not produce children (especially if the woman is in her late seventies or eighties).
To me, the problem (whether or not it is a "perversion") is that pedophilia might be a COMPULSION to have sex with children who are not ready to experience it without suffering psychological harm.

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JLNobody wrote:

To me, the problem (whether or not it is a "perversion") is that pedophilia might be a COMPULSION to have sex with children who are not ready to experience it without suffering psychological harm.

Pedophilia, as clinically defined, is a compulsion--a true pedophile can't help it, and that's what makes such a person so dangerous. And having sex with a sexually immature female is usually physically harmful as well as psychologically harmful.

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Thanks, Mills.

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i have a similar feeling to the original posters- it isn't that you're definitively attracted or not attracted to them, its just a passing feeling that you have an intense desire for them but then when you thinhk about it for alittle more it goes away..... its there more like at a primal level but when it comes down to doing it - regardless of the laws- you sortof back out when you begin to consider it seriously. i think its just two different mental states or hormones that interrupt you. i like looking at the sky, but that doesn't mean that i want to fly there

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omeron wrote:

i have a similar feeling to the original posters- it isn't that you're definitively attracted or not attracted to them, its just a passing feeling that you have an intense desire for them but then when you thinhk about it for alittle more it goes away..... its there more like at a primal level but when it comes down to doing it - regardless of the laws- you sortof back out when you begin to consider it seriously. i think its just two different mental states or hormones that interrupt you. i like looking at the sky, but that doesn't mean that i want to fly there

I like that last sentence. It's fitting.
These young girls these days look amazing, and I find myself drawn to them...and like you said, "I don't want to go there".
Seems some here are simply unable to differentiate between urge and action, feelings and ....well, feeling.
I tend to admire from afar, but not stalk, if that's the next assumption some here will make.
I have confided in some male colleagues and friends about this topic and they too find these young women physically attractive, and we all concur that actually being with them would probably be uneventful and disappointing.

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Has anyone stopped to consider that this is a fantasy? A lot of fantasies are exciting because we can do them in our minds when we would never actually want to do them in real life.

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Yes, actually; and given the young females are pubescent, I believe it is quite common.

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Am I a paedophile

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