Help! Somebody talk me out of it!

(looks up from licking paws)....oh, don't mention it. It was nothing. :wink:

Sounds a bit like Scotland, Mr K....they have two seasons, June and winter.
What are the women like up there? Strong and buxom? This factor may affect your decision, so dont rule it out. Women with childbearing hips are hard to find in the City, and country girls are just that little bit more accommodating. Quality of life, and all that.

I think Kicky's gone into Tharn, for those who've read Watership Down.

Kicky - I left the same company and it is best to leave right after the first of the month - that way you get covered for your health care for the entire month and you get vacation accrued for the entire month. They do pro-rate your vacation time according to how long you are there for the year - on the flip side if you are entitled to say 10 vacation days, but used 12, they will deduct 2 vacation days pay from your final pay check. On the other hand if you accrued 10 days, but only used 2, they will add 8 days of pay to your final check. One other thing - if you have any stock options that you can cash in on - this is the time to do it. Recently they started giving stock options that did not have a strike price. I believe there is one year now that you can cash in half of these options - mine came to in the $700 range - not huge, but something.

I'm feeling very depressed today. I thought I wanted to move to Florida, drive a truck, buy a simple delivery route (chips, pepsi, something like that) and just live in the sun. Or maybe go into real estate. I have the money to do it, and even writing it down now makes me feel a little bit happier for some damn reason.

But somehow, now that my parents have assured me I can always come back to Rochester and work there, I feel like I have no energy, and I just feel like doing nothing, letting my fate be sealed, and just going to Rochester to live in the Jesus-cult that my family has seemingly turned into.

I called in sick to work today. You would think that with the free day, I would go put in some resumes, work on planning, whatever, something, at least.

But I'm not going to do that. Nope. I'm going out to wander the city, and get stinking drunk all by myself like a f*cking bum.

Good idea.

How about doing a real estate course anyway. That's a skill that can travel...

And have a good wander..

I hope he bumps into a willing wench on the way.

Snap out of it!
Get to work on that damn resume.



Well, someone had to say it.

Have you thought of flipping?

If you had the money to do something like that and the friends or contacts with the expertise and skills and time to help you rennovate and turn it around in a month and re-sell it at a profit, it can pay-off.

It's something to think about. I don't recommend it if you are unsure about reselling because you could get stuck with it. There are many pros and cons in this game but this is all the rage these days.

You can get a foreclosed property (do much research on the area, prices, marketability, mortgage/lender rates - if you have to get a loan, etc.), fix it up quickly (you need a quick turnaround time to avoid having to pay a second months mortgage repayment as this will eat up your profits), advertise and do an open house to get offers in, have brokers/agents set-up to close quickly and poof ... you could turn this around so quickly and make a tidy profit.

This all depends on your taste for risk ... you might not be into this.

Thanks, guys, but I don't think I care anymore about what I should do. F*ck everything.

I think I've finally lost it. I might just be finishing leg 1 of a serious bender/breakdown.

I called in sick today, then a couple hours later I called my boss' direct line (of course all I got was his voice mail) to tell him that I have a family emergency and that I won't be in until wednesday. I'm thinking wednesday might not be enough time. I may be done there. I really wanted to do it right--give two weeks notice, get the recommendation, etc.--but I don't know, this being a complete f*ck up feels pretty good, in a completely pathetic, cozy, deep, chest-heaving pain kind of way. F*ck everything.

I wandered all the way down to Washington Square Park today, re-fuelling on the way (re-fueling, in this case, means buying two bananas, an apple, a ham and cheese sandwich from subway, a slice of pizza, and caffiene-free pepsi as necessary, with which to mix my 151 proof rum.) I am still a bit drunk, and I plan to be un-sober for at least the next 24 hours, if possible.

I mumbled "f*ck you" under my breath to most people who dared get in the path of where I was walking, never actually saying it loud enough for them to hear, because, after all, I am a complete and total pussy. Oh, in case you haven't guessed by now, my new motto is "F*CK EVERYTHING."

I also bought pot in the park. A tip for out-of-towners: if you want a good laugh, ask a dealer in Washington Square Park if he'll sell you just a joint. Heeeheee...oh my god, the face this guy made...that was probably the funniest **** I've seen in weeks. I cracked up at his reaction, but saved the deal by asking how much is the smallest amount he'd sell. Twenty bucks. Cool. Deal.

I brought a little notepad and wrote some thoughts while I was out today...maybe I'll throw some of that **** up on the A2K wall later if I feel like it.

Stay tuned for LEG 2 of Kicky's Triple-Fantabulous Bender/Breakdown. I'm thinking of going to Harlem at midnight to see who wants to fight a real live cracker dickhead. F*ck everything.

Auntie Osso says have a nice bender but don't burn your recommendation bridges. Try not to throw up on your good shoes...

Why is it that I seem to be taking in an extra huge breath once about every half hour or so? Why can't I get enough to breath?

Mr. Kix. Are you having a wee bit of an anxiety attack? Could it be related to your Washington Square purchase? mmmmmm, a couple of people I met in New York recently mentioned a similar reaction to something that was purchased there a while ago.

~~~~~~

How's the big black shiny one? Has he recovered from your being away from him?

~~~~~~

Less caffeine.
More fibre.
Notebook writing is good.

Listen to Beth.

I had some laced pot once, a memorable day that was, and not exactly for that - it was the day of a major breakup that I didn't understand, and as I walked back up the stairs to my wee studio, Arnie offered me a hit. I was then and am now not very interested in pot, as I am generationally inclined to other excess, but sure, ok, I took it. I have no idea what was in it, but I needed to just stay there and not leave for a bunch of hours.

The major breakup still retains precedence in memory, but I do think that toke makes my memory of that desolation more miserable.

Years later, majorbreakup and I are tight, though that day then was weird as hell.

Take care of yourself, Kick, we care about you.

And don't barf on your cat.

Aww! Come on over here at sit by me, you're ol' Stray Cat. Life can really suck sometimes, can't it? Oh, tell me about it!

So...come on. I'll rub your back, rub your head, rub your face....

Feels good, huh?

I think you're putting waaaay too much pressure on yourself -- and maybe there are some others putting pressure on you too? (Like maybe, some not-so-subtle parental pressure? Oh, that ****'s always fun!)

Of course, I really don't know who said what to you -- or who's pulling at you -- but it sounds like you're tearing yourself up over it.

I'm thinking it's probably a good idea that you have tomorrow off. Relax and stop thinking about it for a while. You probably don't need anymore input from anyone else at the moment either.

If you just need to put one foot in front of the other for the next few days -- and just focus on getting through to the weekend -- then there's nothing wrong with that. Just focus on that -- for the time being stop trying to wrap your mind around THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND WHAT DO WITH IT that yawns before you.

Get some rest -- and take care of yourself. And btw -- I can so understand how tempting a good bender is at a time like this -- but remember, when you do things that make you weaker -- you make everyone else around you stronger, by comparison (like all those people who are pulling at you). The best revenge is taking good care of yourself.

Everything will be alright. Really. Trust me. Just keep that in your heart.

Goodnight!!

and me, I am thinking it is two in the morning there. Kickypants, get your head off the bathroom floor and find your bed...

OK, write off yesterday to getting it out of system.
You were being a idiot and you know it.

Now clean up and get back to work. Don't make any decisions until you
stabilize you freakin' emotions. Don't leave work (your current job, I
mean) without at least some plan for what happens next.

GET TO WORK ON THE DAMN RESUME!

And start sketching out a plan of action.

Wallowing is good for the soul, but it can become habit forming so cut yourself some slack for yesterday and even today, but then slap yourself around and get a grip.

If you have any kind of real relationship with you boss, request a heart-to-heart. If you don't have any respect for him or value his opinion then skip it, but don't burn your bridges by disappearing without giving a notice.

I think you're facing the end on a year-long countdown and the hope that your trip would give you enough boost to hold on and stick it out. It didn't and now it's sh!t or get off the pot time. You've talked about how much you hate your job and how you look forward to leaving so DO IT, but do it the right way.

Give the notice, work on your resume, stay out of Harlem at midnight, and find a place in the park where you aren't looking to buy pot but can see the flowers, listen to the birds sing, and practice some relaxation breathing exercises.

Take care, Kicky. You're very much cared about here.