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Mon 2 Sep, 2019 02:51 pm
Hey, everyone.
I (25M) just wanted to get a few opinions on the idea of staying at home until 30 with my widowed mother.
My Dad passed away 3 years ago and honestly it was extremely devastating for my entire family. My mom used to spend almost every waking hour with my Dad, so now that he's gone, she has become more sad than I have ever seen her.
She doesn't pressure me to continue living at home, but it is totally obvious that she is much happier when she is living with me than when she is living alone.
We get along famously. Always have, probably always will. I am the most emotionally stable presence in her life and she is the same for me.
I'm not asking whether or not I should continue living at home. I plan on moving out when I turn 30. From a financial standpoint, I could easily move out within a couple of weeks. Knowing that I won't be leaving any time soon, I just bought my dream car, a Tesla Model S.
I was wondering if most girls would be understanding of my reasons for living at home.
It's very easy to weave my reasoning into any conversation about living arrangements. When someone asks "Where do you live?," all I would say is "My mother is actually a widow, so I am living with her right now." Sure, this might put a bit of a damper on the conversation, but it will become more and more necessary to clarify this point with every passing year.
Do you think my situation will limit my dating pool for the next 5 years? Why?
@landcacci,
If you can afford to buy a $75K car at 25, you can afford to put an addition of a bedroom, bath and bath on the house, with a separate entrance.
I don't know what most girls would think, but any women who is interested in you, and you in her, will make it work.
When someone asks me where I live, I tell them Austin, just south of the river. I don't both telling them that my husband is actually married to me, so I'm living with him right now.
Would you really be interested in a woman incapable of understanding your situation? Fortunately for you a woman unable to understand would not be interested in you. The loss is hers. Keep doing what you're doing.
You sound like a truly good person. I knew my husband was (still is!) a great guy and a great catch because of how he treats his mother.
A woman will appreciate your kindness. You're doing a wonderful thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
FWIW my best friend has lived with his parents on and off his entire life, and he's 59.
Not because he or they didn't have the money, but for various other reasons, including his mothers health, and currently because his father is I think 92. Sometimes logistically with work and life it just made sense. They equally shared the finances.
It's never been an issue because they all got along, and it would just be 2 or 3 adults living in the same space.
I still live with The Kid and He's 27. We get on very well, unlike my own father, once I turned 18 I was off.
@izzythepush,
Don’t plan on leaving any time soon. We’re father and son but also best mates – and I often say anyone who likes me will like Izzy because we’re really similar. It’s proven true, everyone that gets invited over gets along with dad, and when I’m invited to stuff by my friends he’s often invited along too. My fiancée recently turned 30 and is planning on moving in with all of us after we marry, as she also really gets on with dad (and my brother). It really depends on how the dynamic is.
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