is my girlfriend cheating??

Tue 20 Aug, 2019 03:54 am
So, a few months ago my gf and i worked the same job. We had a coworker who we would hang out with (go to her house to chill and drink basically). I had a weird feeling about the co worker for a while but then it happened. I was in the living room at co workers house when i walk in and see them kissing each other (co worker and my gf). My heart instantly shattered i didn’t know what to think or do. We talked about it. It was just a “drunk thing” and one minute everything was fine, next minute co worker is kissing her. Okay. Afterwards, my gf continues to talk/text co worker on a daily basis. I mean every day. I eventually said that I couldn’t handle that. Her talking to co worker was just too much like the kissing was bad but you continuing to talk to them on a daily basis after that is not okay. She said she would stop. Fine. Well, I pretty much put it all behind me until my gf started talking to coworker every day AGAIN. Only reason i even knew is because I noticed her being weird with her phone (hiding it from me, never being on messenger/text when i was in eye view) i notice the small things. So i realize shes talking to co worker again. I ask her what’s going on and she says it only work related (they are both managers they do have to communicate i get that). However, I was on fb and seen a post and saw that my gf had comment tagged co worker in it (just a cute cat video but still). I wasn’t really sure what to do so i started to kind of be on the lookout, trying to see if i noticed anything else off. I know she still talks daily to co worker. If not daily, then every other day. I’m not really sure what to do or even say at this point. I hate bringing it up because it was a pretty minor thing but i made it clear that it hurt me. Do i just let it go? Bring it up? Talk to her about it? I feel like we’ve talked about it so much but seem to not really get anywhere. Usually just get apologizing telling me she’s sorry for screwing up and blah blah. Is this even considered cheating? I’m just so in love and don’t want to give up on that very easily but i’m starting to not feel loved back because of this. Any sort of advice would help! I just really need an outside opinion i guess. If i need to elaborate please tell me and I will do my best! Thank you! ~
Tue 20 Aug, 2019 05:17 am
It's not cheating, per se. After all, as you concede, she needs to be able to communicate with him in order to do her job.

Personally, I would intensely dislike being told who I can communicate with, or how often.

But going beyond that--- it's hurtful in that you've repeatedly asked her to stop yet she persists. And it's problematic in that she's lied about changing her behavior.

You need to decide whether it's a dealbreaker.
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Wed 21 Aug, 2019 06:04 am
There are lots of kinds of “affairs”

This sounds like an emotional, forbidden text one at the work place. Very exciting, and she probably will have a hard time stopping, since they must communicate for work issues.

Up to you to decide whether you can tolerate it. ( Unless she takes off for hours at a time or you know she’s seeing him in person, it sounds like it’s confined to texts. Still, that’s addictive and exciting for both of them)
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Thu 22 Aug, 2019 09:43 pm
The phone thing is a dead giveaway. I speak from personal experience on that one.
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Jewels Vern
Fri 23 Aug, 2019 12:30 am
What, do you need to be hit in the head or something? You should not even have paused to discuss it.
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Sun 25 Aug, 2019 10:36 am
I mean wasn’t the kiss already a cheating ??
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Mon 23 Sep, 2019 08:33 pm
Is coworker Male or female ? The kiss is cheating no matter how you look at it . If they are talking about anything other than work it is cheating especially after that kiss . Red flag hiding phone . Does she live with you or you live with her ? Does she leave work same time as you ? If not they could be meeting after work . You might want to wait till she goes to bed and get on her phone and see what they are talking about . The kiss was not a drunk thing . She wanted the kiss or she would have pulled away and she would not be talking to coworker still . You might want to rethink about being with her . Don't know how much you love her but I would not marry her . If she is doing this now what will she do when you marry her . She is showing her true colors now .
Sat 28 Sep, 2019 04:20 pm
You are 100% correct.
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Sun 6 Oct, 2019 12:24 am
There are two baselines here. One thing is why are you keeping a pretext. Let it go. There is really no room for these kind of activities in life. Suspicion is a killer anyways. And yes she did. Now there are no second chances. Too many people out there in the world to explore. Why create such a fuss?
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