6
   

Husband wants me to sleep with other men

 
 
JoyBlue
 
  0  
Reply Tue 20 Aug, 2019 12:38 pm
@CoastalRat,
Sorry for calling you "ordinary", I'm sure you're special and brilliant in many ways!

I actually believe there's no such thing as a normal person, but I think you know what I meant...
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Aug, 2019 12:46 pm
@JoyBlue,
Other than in my head, it didn’t really affect it at all. We remained friends until she died of breast cancer at age 42.

But yes, the immediate effect was to feel betrayed by lover, not for ******* my friend, but for the same reason you felt betrayed by your husband - she didn’t talk to me first about it. Then there is also the fact that our feelings about when sex was appropriate were really only mine.

Could I have enjoyed it today? Better chance now than then.
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Tue 20 Aug, 2019 01:13 pm
@JoyBlue,
Hey, no offense taken. The beauty of a sight like this is you get many viewpoints. Mine are grounded in my faith and my moral compass, which may be different from others on here. (I did not respond when I first read your post because I got the sense you were seeking suggestions or ideas on how to move forward with this rather than whether we thought this was a good idea or not. But then I figured, what the heck, might as well give my viewpoint in case you wanted to reconsider your thoughts on this. )

Anyway, it takes a lot more than calling me ordinary to get my dander up. Been called worse. lol But thanks for recognizing that I am special and brilliant in many ways. Many, many, many ways. Just don't ask my wife to confirm that.
0 Replies
 
JoyBlue
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Aug, 2019 01:46 pm
@Leadfoot,
Ok thanks for clarifying and sorry to hear about your friend's death, that most have been horrific.

I guess the difference in our case would be that there would be no element of surprise. You weren't really expecting the sex to happen so you weren't mentally prepared, or maybe at that point in your life you just weren't in the right place to accept it.

But despite your own negative reaction to the experience, it didn't destroy your relationship, you got over it and probably learned a lot from it.

In our case, we would both talk about it at length and lay out rules before doing anything. So one would think that we'd have an even better chance of making it work because we'd be as prepared as we possibly can.

So I'll call it 1-0 in favour...
0 Replies
 
Muireadach
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 23 Aug, 2019 06:29 am
@JoyBlue,
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. No experience while married, here. However, before we married, she took a new job where she met me, and many others who lined up to date her first. I watched and waited. I had the opportunity to watch one date in action by looking through an open window. She wasn't mine the, but watching her do it with another drove me mad! She eventually chose me, and I never felt threatened or retro-active jealousy. Once, in a discussion about something similar, she said "I chose YOU! Stopping the discussion. If you do it. Be sure to say something like that when you return to his arms. It might work best that way. I still fantasize about watching her that day, and any others who've appeared to get close to her over the past 30 years. Good luck!
0 Replies
 
JoyBlue
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 Sep, 2019 09:05 am
Just thought I'd report back to give a quick update to anyone who is still interested. Hubby and I went through with it in the end, picked someone from a swingers site and I've seen him twice already. First time hubby was there and saw some of it, the second time it was just me and the guy, but I recorded some of it for my OH. I really like the bull and I can see myself dating him for quite some time, hubby is delighted and TBH I'm having the time of my life, I never thought I'd be able to enjoy sex that much again at my age.

I posted a long thread about the recent events of a women's forum, to my disappointment the whole thread was subsequently removed after people reported it as "inappropriate". I was shocked by their hypocrisy, they happily followed the whole story and hardy made any contributions, then suddenly and for no apparent reason decided to be offended by it just because I was telling it like it was, no holds barred. I was trying to show what an experience like this can be like for a regular housewife from the Scottish Highlands, maybe inspire other women to follow suit, but clearly women get jealous when others get to fulfil their fantasies. I think secretly they'd love to do the same but haven't got the guts to go through with it, so they can't stand to hear that others are making a success of it.

I'm really, really loving it and don't want it to stop, hubby wants me to look for other bulls but I'm quite happy with this guy just now, I think he's spectacular - or maybe I'd just forgotten what good sex feels like....

I don't know if other women will ever read this thread, if they do I want to leave this last thought: if your husband is asking for this and you are not sure if it can ever work out, take it from me, it can. Of course this is only my personal experience and I'm not going to say that it will always work for everyone, I'm sure there's plenty of real life examples of it going horribly wrong. However for us, with plenty of communication, preparation and ultimately love and support, I can honestly say it's going better than I ever thought possible. I just wish I hadn't denied myself this quality of sex for so long. Now trying my best to catch up! Wink
knaivete
 
  2  
Reply Tue 3 Sep, 2019 05:07 pm
@JoyBlue,
Och aye the noo?

0 Replies
 
Used2bgood
 
  0  
Reply Sun 15 Sep, 2019 05:52 pm
@JoyBlue,
My wife and I have had outside partners starting out as MFM and progressing from there to FWB's for both of us.
The important thing is to be honest with all participants, know your own feelings and jealousies and set ground rules before hand that are agreed by all. Have a 'safe' word that will stop all actions with no explanations needed, then afterward, when alone with the spouse, discuss why it was stopped.
My first reaction when the other guy first penetrated my wife was of a strong jealous pang but it soon went away with the beautiful and sensual scene unfolding before me. My wife was in a heavenly bliss and the other man had turned out too truly know how to handle himself in pleasuring her. I was soo turned on and couldn't wait for the reclamation sex with her. (I was also actively participating with caressing, fondling them both and kissing of her.)
For us, having chosen the right partner, it was the greatest sex since the wedding night and led to much more experimentation over the years. We've been married for 50 yrs this month.
Only you two can make the decision to proceed but be aware that my wife and I are the exception in these matters... many of our friends could not handle the outside sex in their relationships. They also were not as dedicated to each other as we were.
0 Replies
 
 

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