8
   

Husband wants me to sleep with other men

 
 
JoyBlue
 
  0  
Reply Tue 20 Aug, 2019 12:38 pm
@CoastalRat,
Sorry for calling you "ordinary", I'm sure you're special and brilliant in many ways!

I actually believe there's no such thing as a normal person, but I think you know what I meant...
Leadfoot
 
  0  
Reply Tue 20 Aug, 2019 12:46 pm
@JoyBlue,
Other than in my head, it didn’t really affect it at all. We remained friends until she died of breast cancer at age 42.

But yes, the immediate effect was to feel betrayed by lover, not for ******* my friend, but for the same reason you felt betrayed by your husband - she didn’t talk to me first about it. Then there is also the fact that our feelings about when sex was appropriate were really only mine.

Could I have enjoyed it today? Better chance now than then.
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Tue 20 Aug, 2019 01:13 pm
@JoyBlue,
Hey, no offense taken. The beauty of a sight like this is you get many viewpoints. Mine are grounded in my faith and my moral compass, which may be different from others on here. (I did not respond when I first read your post because I got the sense you were seeking suggestions or ideas on how to move forward with this rather than whether we thought this was a good idea or not. But then I figured, what the heck, might as well give my viewpoint in case you wanted to reconsider your thoughts on this. )

Anyway, it takes a lot more than calling me ordinary to get my dander up. Been called worse. lol But thanks for recognizing that I am special and brilliant in many ways. Many, many, many ways. Just don't ask my wife to confirm that.
0 Replies
 
JoyBlue
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Aug, 2019 01:46 pm
@Leadfoot,
Ok thanks for clarifying and sorry to hear about your friend's death, that most have been horrific.

I guess the difference in our case would be that there would be no element of surprise. You weren't really expecting the sex to happen so you weren't mentally prepared, or maybe at that point in your life you just weren't in the right place to accept it.

But despite your own negative reaction to the experience, it didn't destroy your relationship, you got over it and probably learned a lot from it.

In our case, we would both talk about it at length and lay out rules before doing anything. So one would think that we'd have an even better chance of making it work because we'd be as prepared as we possibly can.

So I'll call it 1-0 in favour...
0 Replies
 
Muireadach
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 23 Aug, 2019 06:29 am
@JoyBlue,
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. No experience while married, here. However, before we married, she took a new job where she met me, and many others who lined up to date her first. I watched and waited. I had the opportunity to watch one date in action by looking through an open window. She wasn't mine the, but watching her do it with another drove me mad! She eventually chose me, and I never felt threatened or retro-active jealousy. Once, in a discussion about something similar, she said "I chose YOU! Stopping the discussion. If you do it. Be sure to say something like that when you return to his arms. It might work best that way. I still fantasize about watching her that day, and any others who've appeared to get close to her over the past 30 years. Good luck!
0 Replies
 
JoyBlue
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 Sep, 2019 09:05 am
Just thought I'd report back to give a quick update to anyone who is still interested. Hubby and I went through with it in the end, picked someone from a swingers site and I've seen him twice already. First time hubby was there and saw some of it, the second time it was just me and the guy, but I recorded some of it for my OH. I really like the bull and I can see myself dating him for quite some time, hubby is delighted and TBH I'm having the time of my life, I never thought I'd be able to enjoy sex that much again at my age.

I posted a long thread about the recent events of a women's forum, to my disappointment the whole thread was subsequently removed after people reported it as "inappropriate". I was shocked by their hypocrisy, they happily followed the whole story and hardy made any contributions, then suddenly and for no apparent reason decided to be offended by it just because I was telling it like it was, no holds barred. I was trying to show what an experience like this can be like for a regular housewife from the Scottish Highlands, maybe inspire other women to follow suit, but clearly women get jealous when others get to fulfil their fantasies. I think secretly they'd love to do the same but haven't got the guts to go through with it, so they can't stand to hear that others are making a success of it.

I'm really, really loving it and don't want it to stop, hubby wants me to look for other bulls but I'm quite happy with this guy just now, I think he's spectacular - or maybe I'd just forgotten what good sex feels like....

I don't know if other women will ever read this thread, if they do I want to leave this last thought: if your husband is asking for this and you are not sure if it can ever work out, take it from me, it can. Of course this is only my personal experience and I'm not going to say that it will always work for everyone, I'm sure there's plenty of real life examples of it going horribly wrong. However for us, with plenty of communication, preparation and ultimately love and support, I can honestly say it's going better than I ever thought possible. I just wish I hadn't denied myself this quality of sex for so long. Now trying my best to catch up! Wink
knaivete
 
  2  
Reply Tue 3 Sep, 2019 05:07 pm
@JoyBlue,
Och aye the noo?

0 Replies
 
Used2bgood
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 15 Sep, 2019 05:52 pm
@JoyBlue,
My wife and I have had outside partners starting out as MFM and progressing from there to FWB's for both of us.
The important thing is to be honest with all participants, know your own feelings and jealousies and set ground rules before hand that are agreed by all. Have a 'safe' word that will stop all actions with no explanations needed, then afterward, when alone with the spouse, discuss why it was stopped.
My first reaction when the other guy first penetrated my wife was of a strong jealous pang but it soon went away with the beautiful and sensual scene unfolding before me. My wife was in a heavenly bliss and the other man had turned out too truly know how to handle himself in pleasuring her. I was soo turned on and couldn't wait for the reclamation sex with her. (I was also actively participating with caressing, fondling them both and kissing of her.)
For us, having chosen the right partner, it was the greatest sex since the wedding night and led to much more experimentation over the years. We've been married for 50 yrs this month.
Only you two can make the decision to proceed but be aware that my wife and I are the exception in these matters... many of our friends could not handle the outside sex in their relationships. They also were not as dedicated to each other as we were.
0 Replies
 
Below viewing threshold (view)
Teufel
 
  0  
Reply Sun 26 Jul, 2020 03:05 am
@JoyBlue,
It is called 'Cuckolding' and is reasonably popular in Fetish circles.

Cuckolding - The act of coitus between the female and her lover, usually/often whilst the husband watches, has little or nothing to do with sex per se, it is about feelings the husband has regarding himself.

There are sites which deal with the subject but do take some advice, advice from myself after my own 40+ years in BDSM and the surrounding scenes:

1) Be very careful of the people who will 'egg you on' to do this in physical life; they all have their own agenda.

2) If it were not for the internet would this have ever arisen in your life? If the answer is no, then you have to ask how valid is it really? Myself I was 100% driven toward BDSM from the start, there was no internet, by age 18yr old I had a female sub in her 20's ..... That is a true drive not a passing fantasy or idea.

3) My wife is my submissive in BDSM terms, a Dr and my 100% equal in life terms .... We occasionally use other people to achieve something ... The operant word is 'use' ... They are random people we'll meet in various ways, I am always present and in control .... But to us, afterwards, it is like a meal out with friends or a trip to the cinema, nothing more than entertainment rapidly forgotten. Until you actually 'do it' you will not know how the 'scene' took you in reality.

4) Once done it can never be taken back .... It is not so much what you and your husband feel the next day; but in a month, 3 months, a year, 5 years .... Make sure that you both communicate endlessly afterwards about it until the subject is 101% exhausted ..... Leave no shadows in the corners where concern can grow.

As a last point I would be extremely careful about taking advice from books and most of the internet forum type people ... Those books are written by people who talk a good fight but they rarely do much in real life. This is also the same for most of the commentators. The use of the word 'Kink' is a warning to be careful about how much these people might actually know imo.

In essence @JoyBlue you are not unusual, you are the sort of age group that mostly arrives in the BDSM/Fetish scene and actually does something .... But be very careful, make sure you and your husband set rigid parameters and avoid using anyone you know as the lover ... Use them once then get shot of them from your life is the only way to go, or vast issues will be created. Issues which people's marriages quite often do not survive.

Good fortune to you ... Personally I require no answer, I am just giving you basic advice. If you want more information send me a pm.
0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Sun 26 Jul, 2020 06:55 am
Quote:
Use them once then get shot of them from your life is the only way to go

Yeah, God forbid that you should actually love them. Or that they love you.

Love is not a crime.
BarefootBiMale
 
  -3  
Reply Mon 10 Aug, 2020 05:15 am
@JoyBlue,
Congratulations. I've read through your adventures and all I can say is we find our friends exciting.
It all started when wife and I were speaking of our fantasies. She said she always wanted to do a fellow orally while I was in her. I was all for it as one of mine was to be with another male and watch her with one. We took turns giving him oral and in the end we made a very good friend.
0 Replies
 
Teufel
 
  0  
Reply Tue 11 Aug, 2020 04:13 pm
@JoyBlue,


My wife and I have been in our BDSM O/s relationship for 30 years now and indeed she has her SLRN number tattooed inside her upper thigh. What is important to us is that even though we are both 'born to role' and our BDSM relationship is always just under the surface .... We are egalitarian and BDSM is something which we do as a sex life ... it is not our life. This rigid compartmentalisation of life and 'sex' is in our opinion, extremely important.

What you seemingly describe is termed 'Cuckolding' in Fetish circles and if you search that term, then much information regarding it will come up. Once you ignore the porn, you might even find something useful. It is a fairly popular past time in Fetish circles.

There are other times when the dominant party orders the submissive party to have sexual congress with one or more 'strangers' but this does not seem to be what your husband is interested in.

As other people have intimated, the transfer from masturbation fantasy to physical life is one often fraught with great difficulty. In truth after my own 40+ years personally speaking in BDSM, plus an almost similar time owning adult sexual entertainment businesses (shops, clubs, parties, video production etc etc), there is not much that I have not witnessed.

Your husband is most likely having a mid life crisis which is intensifying his drive. This fast burgeoning fascination he has has nothing to do with his love (or not) for you, it is an entirely separate issue. This is all about him and his needs. You are a vessel, a chess piece he can use to achieve something which fascinates him.

In my experience there is a relatively small cache of people world wide for whom coitus is nothing more than 'shaking hands'. Because it is just a physical act, which is given differing values and levels of credence only by the mental reactions of those taking part. My wife and I are both of the mind that coitus is entirely unimportant. However, everything we do in our BDSM life is entirely about US as a single unit not individuals. Exactly the same as our general life together.

What one needs to be careful of is not the day of or during the act of, cuckolding, as this is when the excitement carries the husband/wife through it. It is similarly not the following few days when the replayed excitement often leads them to have a whole bunch of 'super sex!' ..... It is in 6 months or even 5 years time; when at some point the relationship is unsettled for any reason and that cuckold event is suddenly a bone of contention.

If, IF, you can have sex with another man and you see it as 'shaking hands', it is entertainment akin to a night at the cinema and your husband feels the same ... Ergo it is nice to go out, it is nice to see the film and it is nice to talk about it later .... however within two days it is a faded memory.

Then you might be OK .... but the problem is you have to do it, to find that out. No one knows what they will feel until some point afterwards ... in days, weeks, years or even decades.

If you want any further advice, then feel free to pm me.





0 Replies
 
marthemedium1
 
  -4  
Reply Thu 13 Aug, 2020 04:50 am
@JoyBlue,
"When I experimented with dominance/submission we had a written contract about exactly what the relationship entailed and how far it extended."

Hello I was into those kind of dominance relationship with a previous girlfriend. I didn't stay long but it seems that this world is very "codified" with a lot of rules that allow things to go well. You spoke about the contract, there are also passords that are supposed to make things stop.
0 Replies
 
weysally
 
  0  
Reply Wed 26 Aug, 2020 04:39 pm
@PUNKEY,
well my husband and I have been into this for a long time now, we got into it by roll playing and my husband saying how he wished he had more hands to caress me with,
when after a long time we talked about it outside the bedroom, at first we decided that Ok I get to choose the other man, after months of flirting and seeing how we both liked this up to then, we up the stakes so to speak, and when Ron was out one night, he was some one that my husband knew slightly,
so over a period of time, we would meet him at a club that we all belonged to,
and one night while Ron and I danced a rather slow dance, I felt his erection,
so I pressed tighter to him,
luckily Ron live up past our house so one night as we got home we asked him in for a night cap, this now happened every week plus Ron would call in onthe Sunday lunch time as he always went for a lunch time drink.
now that Ron came home with us most weekend nights, those nights became longer and longer,
and the dancing became closer and closer as now no one else could see what was happening,
now came the do or die thing, Ron and I were dancing and he had a huge erection on, so taking the bull by the horns so to speak, I said to Ron that my husband and I were thinking of inviting some one to join us in bed and would he like to be the one,
well he was flabbergasted and blurred out hell yes, so that night I had my first threesome, and hell it was great, however, after I had my orgasm and Ron had his climax, I reached for my husbands penis and he was placid, my first thoughts were hell he didn't like it, but later after Ron had left he said that when I had my orgasm he climaxed with out touching himself,
we talked and he asked if I would like to do it again, looking my husband in the eyes, I said yes I would,
so it was decided that if Ron came in on Sunday I was to ask if there were any regrets, Ron said no regrets and asked me, I said no and when I asked him when he would like to join us again he said he would love to do it there and then so within a few hours I had two threesomes and we have never looked back,

0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Wed 26 Aug, 2020 07:37 pm
This lady is describing the current news coverage of Jerry Falwell Jr. and his wife sex life to a Tee.

Now the question come to mind is she trolling due to Falwells giving her the idea to write this or is it just one hell of a happenstance???????

Quote:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/08/26/jerry-falwell-liberty-university-unacceptable/

Falwell contended with reports alleging that his wife had engaged in a years-long sexual relationship with a Miami Beach pool boy, at times while her husband observed;


Mostly brand new accounts postings on this thread so it look like internet bullshit.


weysally1972
 
  1  
Reply Thu 27 Aug, 2020 03:21 am
@BillRM,
Hi, I hope you don't mean me, as I haven't got a clue as to what you are saying,
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  3  
Reply Thu 27 Aug, 2020 02:44 pm
Sounds like letters to Penthouse. Or so I've heard.

"Imagine my surprise .... !!!"
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  3  
Reply Thu 27 Aug, 2020 02:48 pm
@Leadfoot,
Quote:
Love is not a crime.


All depends what state you're in. Ask coldjoint. Allegedly.
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Mon 31 Aug, 2020 11:32 am
@bobsal u1553115,
Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's.
If you want to render more than that, count me out.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

 
Copyright © 2020 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 10/20/2020 at 03:17:25