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The Not So Big "O"

 
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 04:52 pm
You are such a bad man . . .


I had a orgrasim once't . . . scared the bejeebus outta me . . . i was alone . . .
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ConstitutionalGirl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 07:10 pm
I never had sex, so never had faked it. Though it feels good doing myself.
Laughing
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ConstitutionalGirl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 07:18 pm
If you men wana be good in bed, just lick or touch the button.
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Eva
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 07:34 pm
I faked orgasms with my first husband sometimes. He was so lousy in bed that it was the fastest way to get him to stop!

That was a long time ago, though. I've never had to do it since.
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LionTamerX
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 07:43 pm
ConstitutionalGirl wrote:
I never had sex, so never had faked it. Though it feels good doing myself.
Laughing


Careful, CG.

Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten...

http://img137.echo.cx/img137/521/godkills9eg.jpg
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Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 07:46 pm
When I was younger I would fake it in order not to hurt the guy's feelings and get to go to sleep. Now if it's not going to happen I just admit it. A few times in my now multi-year relationship, my partner has admitted he couldn't release - no big deal. Sometimes you pop, sometimes you don't.
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pragmatic
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 08:25 pm
I'm reading this thread, but apart from that, no comment.

What did you do to make yourself talk to your again, Lord Ellpus?
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 09:07 pm
So I still assume you all can read and only males have voted on the poll?

If so, no funny stories from it?
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LionTamerX
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 09:26 pm
Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:
So I still assume you all can read and only males have voted on the poll?

If so, no funny stories from it?


You mean you missed the one about Baldimo and Autofellation ?

That was a screamer.

Oh wait, I just made that up.

Sorry.
0 Replies
 
dora17
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 09:54 pm
Laughing oh, Lion's funny today... Laughing Laughing
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sublime1
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 10:20 pm
I am one of those that have faked. After a long night of drinking I brought a girl home. The first time was long and was enough for me but she wanted more so she woke my little buddy up. After about a half an hour I knew I wasn't going to go the distance so I thought to myself if they can fake it why can't I? So I built it up, "let go", and was able to finally pass out. It's nothing I have made a habit of but in this instance it worked like a charm.
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 11:01 pm
pragmatic wrote:
I'm reading this thread, but apart from that, no comment.

What did you do to make yourself talk to your again, Lord Ellpus?


I took myself out shopping, bought myself some shoes, and when I got home I presented myself with a box of chocolates and treated myself to a pampering.
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dora17
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 11:02 pm
I'm almost afraid to know what letter is missing from "pmpering"
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Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 11:07 pm
ConstitutionalGirl wrote:
If you men wana be good in bed, just lick or touch the button.


I dont touch the button any more. There you are, just getting to an exciting bit, touch the button and whoosh, the footballs no longer on and you're watching the cooking channel. Hours of touching the button later, you finally get back to the Football, only to discover that you've missed a rather splendid goal.

As for licking, one should never lick a TV set, the static shock could loosen a filling.
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 11:09 pm
dora17 wrote:
I'm almost afraid to know what letter is missing from "pmpering"


I couldnt decide myself, but in the end I went with an "A".
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Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 11:14 pm
Although a good "pumpering" would have been the way to go, looking back.
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dora17
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 11:17 pm
pompering could be good if you wanted to be a bit formal.
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Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 11:20 pm
I thought about "i", but the car wouldnt suit me.
0 Replies
 
dora17
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 11:28 pm
aaand...we're out of funny vowels...
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dagmaraka
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2005 11:31 pm
we have more in slovakia: consider "ia" "ie" "iu" and "ä" and "ô"
0 Replies
 
 

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