BEST FRIEND HOOKED ON PRON..

PS: I am ashamed to admit the photo turned me on just a tiny tiny bit. Well it got my mind going in that direction. Is there something wrong with me?

Anyone ever have the dog "accidentally" be in the room at the wrong moment and watch you and you SO in action? The dog seems interested...! And cats seem to jump on you a lot when it is all happening...

You are so goofy sometimes . . . that's PRON, you twit . . .

Im so offended by the pron in this thread, I think I need to take a cold shower...

But of course! Silly me.

That explains it all.

Yes, well, we're discussing pron. Excuse me, I'll have to go back and rethink my "position." How embarrassing.

You know, in the interest of helping "your friend" out, Dear Lord Ellpus, do be a sweetpie and give us the url of the website your friend was viewing that you depicted in the opening question on this thread...

And by the way m'lord, what the hell are you doing taking pictures of your friend watching porn? Does THAT turn YOU on?

I think you're sicker than your friend!

Is there a name for a condition where you like to watch your friends watch porn?

Jeeze, everytime i see this thread title in the list, i automatically think: "Pron, pron, that's PRON."

I'm ruined for life.

I know. I can see it now.

"Honey, we've been together a few months now, and I think we're really feeling comfortable together. Um, anyway, I was just wondering, and please don't take this wrong, I love you, but I was wondering, do you think we're ready to watch some pron together?"

She'll be thinking like: "What the hell? Is there some great new thing I don't know about? Or did this creep just ask me, in a suggestive way to watch really big shrimp together?"

(Is "pron" pronounced like "prawn" or "prone")? Oh well, both work I guess.

oxymoron

When Lord Ellpus and Spendius look downward upon themselves, they don't like to think of it as an oxymoron. But alas, despite whatever state of denial they may be in...

Yes, but one of them is just your average garden variety moron and the other one . . .

Hmmm....they aren't defending themselves.

Probably busy watching pron together.

Or watching each other watch pron...

That was a damn fine video you bought along......see you next Thursday, Spendy old boy.

<Slam>

Now....what do I do with all this Kleenex?

Thank you for making the very necessary correction in the title of this thread . . .

What correction? This is a pron thread.....for lovers of pron, and those who have not seen pron but are fascinated by lewd shellfish.

Penguin is drivin' through the desert when his car breaks down, so he gets a tow into town, and then, wilting from the heat, he goes lookin' for some relief. He finally buys a quart of ice cream, but having no utensils, he just ducks into an alley and sticks his beak in and has at it . . .

He gets back to the mechanic to find out how things are goin' and the guy says to him:

Well, it looks like you just blew a seal . . .

No, no . . . i was eatin' ice cream, i swear it . . .

HAHAHAHA....Nice one!

I went to an underwater Disco once, and pulled a Mussel.


(the old one's are the best)

Wet Dream, Kip Addada

It was the 41st of April, being a quadruple leap year.
I was driving through downtown Atlantis.
My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, and it was overheating.
I pulled off into a Shell station.
They said I'd blown a seal.
I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay pal?"

While they were doing that I walked over to a place called "The Oyster Bar" -- a real dive.
But I knew the owner -- he used to play for the Dolphins.
I said "Hi, Gil!" You have to yell, he's hard of herring.
Gil was also down on his luck.
Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water.

I bellied up to the sandbar.
He poured me the usual -- Rusty snail, hold the grunnion, shaken, not stirred.
With a peanut-butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side -- heavy on the mako.
I slipped him a fin - on porpoise.
I was feelin' good. I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squids.
For the halibut.

Well, the place was crowded.
We were packed in like sardines.
They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal.
What sole.
Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna, Salmon-chanted evening,
And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers -- Probably there to see the bass player.
One of them was this cute little yellowtail, and she was giving me the eye.
So I figured this was my chance for a little fun.
You know, piece of pisces.
But she said things I just couldn't fathom.
She was too deep. Seemed to be under a lot of pressure.
Boy, could she drink. She drank like a- She drank a lot.

I said "What's your sign?" She said, "Aquarium."
I said, "Great! Let's get tanked!"
I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait.
I said, "C'mon, baby, it'll only take a few minnows."
She threw me that same old line, "Not tonight. I've got a haddock."

And she wasn't kidding either, cause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike.
He was covered with mussels.
He came over to me, he said "Listen, shrimp, don't you come trollin' around here."
What a crab. This guy was steamed. I could see the anchor in his eyes.
I turned to him, I said "A-balone. You're just bein' shellfish."

Well, I knew there was going to be trouble, and so did Gil, cause he was already on the phone to the cods.
The haddock hits me with a sucker punch.
I catch him with a left hook. He eels over.
It was a fluke, but there he was, lyin' on the deck, flat as a mackerel. Kelpless.
I said, "Forget the cods, Gil, this guy's gonna need a sturgeon."

Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend.
She came over to me, she said "Hey, big boy, you're really a game fish. What's your name?"
I said, "Marlin."

Well, from then on, we had a whale of a time. I took her to dinner. I took her to dance.
I bought her a bouquet of flounders. And then I went home with her.
And what did I get for my trouble?
A case of the clams.

How many puns were in there, I wonder? It is amazing how one misspell has come to this.......jokes about fish....all we need now is a post from Salmon Rushdie.

I wonder if we should start a thread about the charms of a punt ?

That would end up who knows where?

Proabably in a punt, drifting down past ladies in their gayly colored shifts, sipping cheap whiskey and smoking overpriced . . .

I would say it might well lead us to the core of the very knottiest conundrums of philosphy, your Lordbarge . . . er, Lordship . . .

t: buffalo come.

lr: how can you tell?

t: ear stick to ground.