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he cheated on you with her...do you pay her or him back?

 
 
Reply Mon 27 May, 2019 03:18 am
yo my boyfriend (ex-) cheated on me with my semi-enemy and she fully tolerated it and let word get arround bout it...im one for vengence and i know its not right but i feel like i will get an emense feeling of satisfaction in the end...which one should i pay back the pain to? cuz i wont stop until one of them feels the urking pain i had to feel and still have to feel
 
View best answer, chosen by kaylie-the-cutter
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Mon 27 May, 2019 06:25 am
@kaylie-the-cutter,
No, I act like a grownup, realize I am better off and move on.
kaylie-the-cutter
 
  0  
Reply Mon 27 May, 2019 06:52 am
@jespah,
tbh wish i could but i feel like its necessary.to do smth...i just dont know what to do
0 Replies
 
neptuneblue
 
  3  
Reply Mon 27 May, 2019 07:20 am
@kaylie-the-cutter,
The best revenge is living well.

Pick yourself up, dust off some of the anger and get to work. Focus on solving one problem and move on to the next. Renew your faith, in a higher power of your choice and in yourself.

You have to let go. Let all of the pain and anger and frustration and confusion. All of it. Let it go.

A symbolic yet satisfying method is a visible way for you to see how this can work for you. Get two white helium balloons. Write your two most important worries on them with black magic marker. Go outside into your front yard and release them. Watch them float away. Watch them until you can't see them any more. And then they're gone.

This doesn't mean you still won't feel the pain. It's only meant to show you how when you let go, you let go. Those balloons will travel to where ever they do, but they will not come back to you.

Inflicting pain on your x, that's not as satisfying as you think it will be. In the end, it actually will make you feel shittier about yourself. Please don't do that. Find a more constructive way to help yourself. You will get through this.

0 Replies
 
maxdancona
  Selected Answer
 
  4  
Reply Mon 27 May, 2019 07:51 am
@kaylie-the-cutter,
To answer your question... it is your boyfriend who wronged you. He bears the responsibility for his actions. That being said, I agree with the others. The best vengeance is living well.

Think of it this way. If you just walk away as if he never existed, you are telling him that he is not worth your time. He is useless and you aren't even going to waste your valuable time hating him.

This is not only what will make you happy (because it is true, he isn't worth your time hating him)... it is also the strongest response.

There is a song I like in Spanish called "Odiame". This is Spanish for "Hate me". In the song the singer is begging his ex-lover to hate him, because if she hates him, he will know that she loved him. The thing he most fears is indifference.

He isn't worth it.
0 Replies
 
Ponderer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 May, 2019 02:28 pm
@kaylie-the-cutter,
Eventually he will understand what he has done to you and what he lost.
Then he will realize he is responsible for his pain. And you won't be.
0 Replies
 
RedOrchet
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 29 May, 2019 07:55 pm
@kaylie-the-cutter,
Forget the bitch, she had no obligation to you in the first place so screw her. But as for the guy... Revenge sometimes is a necessary road we must go down in order to begin the healing process. So DO what's necessary (; if we're talking ideas for revenge, I don't know the guy so it'd be hard to give you an idea. But you do, find his biggest insecurity and demolish him with it. Happy travels!
0 Replies
 
JJ910
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Jun, 2019 02:13 pm
@kaylie-the-cutter,
What if it’s not what he did but rather what you weren’t doing? Don’t get too vengeful especially if he has nudes of you lol!
0 Replies
 
 

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