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Who was right or wrong? Dating advice

 
 
JohnQ78
 
Reply Mon 6 May, 2019 05:48 am
Advice on who is in the wrong: Note:

My girlfriend and I have discussed, fought and debated one another. She feels it was ok and is not sorry or apologetic. I disagree with her and felt like she didn't respond well to it. She is not sorry the least bit.


Story
My girlfriend is 35 I'm 40 we are both attractive and she has a 10yr old . We had plans to go to a base ball game and she had invited a friend of her sons to come. His dad was her sons little league coach and he's married with 2 kids. We were going to a party in the suites with my girlfriend sons little league baseball team and there parents. It was for the team and family. We were going to take her sons friend. The boy and his dad or not on the team. The dad was never offered or extended an invitation to go..

We walk into the park and ran into the dad who's kid we invited. My girlfriend gives him a hug. We give him one ticket. He took it and I told them my girlfriend her mom and her son let's get up there. My girlfriend mom had wanted to include him.. (he is attractive man)
I told my girlfriend after we were walking away it was inoporite to invite him hes not with the team and we are already sneaking his kid into this party. She looked at me and agreed it was not something to do. And said it would not be appropriate. We get in the suite she hangs out with me gets a hotdogs and we watch a few minutes then she texts the coach and calls him then walks off and back inside. I watch her have a conversation with him for 3-4mins and its them talking. She went away from me and wanted to have a conversation with him not around me. I get jeloues because I feel like she is hiding or being secretive. Right or wrong.
She says to mom I'm going to get them.. I pull her aside and say to her we can walk down and get the kid but hes not coming to the party. That's not what this is about. She flips on me and tells me no one will tell her who she can hangout with or talk too. I tell her hes got no reason to be here or come hang out. She disagrees because he coached her son a few years ago. I get mad an tell her what? Ok then, pick me or him coming up here. Choose.. She tells me I'm psycho and jealous, possisve and says fine go.. I leave. I don't cause a scene and go .. we text bk and forth for an hour and later that night We talked it was a fight .. I told her bye.. aftermath and her opinion. she thinks it was ok and in bounds to invite him. He thinks I'm insecure and I'm possisve, Jeloues.. ect. I disagree with her and think it was outside her to invite him up. And she obviously wanted to see him and hangout. She says she didn't pick him over me she just didn't want me to cause a scene and said I could go .. why she invited him . He had done so much for her son.. ect.. I've done more for both of them. We have only been dating a month but just started to be exclusive.

. I just want honest responses. If I am wrong please tell me. I accept the answers.

John. Q
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 May, 2019 06:02 am
I know someone like your new GF. She makes impulsive decisions, then gets defensive when someone questions it. (She even invited a bunch of kids to come to a party when she was not the host or at her home)

Yes, looks like she has a mother who also does things like that. They will argue that “ it’s no big thing” but in reality, her actions have consequences she doesn’t consider.

Your relationship is new. You have time to decide if you can deal with this kind of personalty. Watch for her impulsiveness in other areas of her life.

0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  3  
Reply Mon 6 May, 2019 03:41 pm
I dunno, you sound like a petty controlling douchebag to me.

Who put you in charge of being the gatekeeper for the party? Did you also keep track of how many hot dogs or Cheetos each person ate? If after a few months dating someone asked me “pick me or him” over something as stupid as this, I’d tell you not to let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

WTF is she supposed to apologize for? Talking to another person? Bringing someone else into a situation you aren’t in charge of? Did you also keep track of and question other people there, and make them show you their ticket?
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 May, 2019 06:14 am
@JohnQ78,
Direct answer -- of course this is my opinion and based on what you supplied here - you are wrong.

She might not have made the most appropriate decision to invite him but I can understand why she got upset at you. At this point she, on a whim it seems, invited him. To dis-invite him after just asking him to attend would be down right rude. Who knows completely why she invited him on a whim - there was an extra ticket? (I would have done the same thing); she felt maybe it was a way of thanking him for the previous years in which he coached her boy?

It could be a million things that have nothing to do with him being attractive. She may have been talking with him in private to thank him for being a good role model for her son, or her son really liked having him as a coach or hey how are your other kids and wife? It could have been sorry if my boyfriend acts weird - he is a bit overprotective and jealous so he may act rude towards you.

This would put me over the edge as well...."I pull her aside and say to her we can walk down and get the kid but hes not coming to the party..." My respond would not be much different than hers ... what the heck you are dictating to me what I can and cannot do! I am an adult don't tell me what I cannot do.

And I agree if she invited him and then 10 minutes later said no sorry you can't come - it could cause a scene.

Sorry buddy you are too over-protective and untrusting and insecure. If you have a girlfriend you love - you need to trust her and not give ultimatums especially over something so small as this whim of an invite.

Now unless you have something else to go over this invite to a former coach of her sons done a whim - this is out of line. Your girlfriend is going to be exposed daily to attractive men so from what is written on here she did nothing inappropriate other than invite two people (this former coach and his son) to a team party. For that matter what are you doing you there? You have even less association with the team - you are not the kid's parent and unless I got this wrong - you are not directly involved with team - a team member or a coach so maybe you are the one that should not have attended this event.
0 Replies
 
 

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