Could I be Gay?

Green Witch wrote:

If she has oral sex with one woman and enjoys it- is she gay? If her husband is in the room watching does that make him married to a gay woman or just lucky?

Both, but the degree of luck depends on the rules.

0 Replies

Green Witch wrote:

If she has oral sex with one woman and enjoys it- is she gay? If her husband is in the room watching does that make him married to a gay woman or just lucky?

well no matter what I think we can take lucky as a given in that one instance anyway. Laughing

0 Replies

Why is it the thought of my husband having oral sex with another man totally creeps me out, but most men have no problem with their wives/girlfriends having sex with another woman? In fact they like the idea.

I think I'm going to go wake up my husband and ask him what he thinks.

0 Replies

Let us know what he says ;-)

0 Replies

Bi-sexual seems the likely deal for you Drew, to me.

Which may well turn out to be a great deal for you! I guess it depends how it all pans out for you in the relationship situation. It would seem to me to be an ideal state, sexually - but there are the prejudices to deal with - and the fact that you are in a committed relationship.

You haven't really talked about what is not going so well for you and your wife - but if you want to strengthen that relationship - and/or get some help in deciding whether to commit or leave, marital counselling may be helpful.

It would be hard for you, at this stage, I think, to decide if you want to lead a bi life - or a more gay or straight one. You have little experience with men to go on. I cannot imagine that having your first sexual experience with a man with somebody watching would have been too helpful! But - I respect your desire to be fair to your relationship with your wife.

here are a couple of sites I found - I am not sur ehow helpful they may be:

http://www.avert.org/hsexu2.htm

http://gaylife.about.com/cs/amigay/

I am sure there would be a gay counselling service somewhere near you - who are doubtless experienced in talking to folk who are not sure. Just mind they aren't proselytizing if you use them! Some gay folk are convinced everyone is gay - but not all have realised it yet! Just like lots of bigoted straight people....

0 Replies

kickycan wrote:

Oh jesus, here we go with this scale crap again...yeah, there is a scale and when you get on it, it says "GAY".

Why make this more complicated for the guy? Everything that he said points to the fact that he's gay.

It is not crap. The fact that you claim that it is crap is revealing.

How do you rate yourself. 0 being the most straight and 7 the most gay.

I would say Drew is a 5 or 6.

0 Replies

The bigger question is, ""Can the marriage be saved?" You guys need to get into therapy and figure that part out.

0 Replies

Chrissee wrote:

kickycan wrote:
Oh jesus, here we go with this scale crap again...yeah, there is a scale and when you get on it, it says "GAY".

Why make this more complicated for the guy? Everything that he said points to the fact that he's gay.

It is not crap. The fact that you claim that it is crap is revealing.

How do you rate yourself. 0 being the most straight and 7 the most gay.

I would say Drew is a 5 or 6.

I'm 3 to the power of negative sixteen minus twelve. That help?

0 Replies

Chrissee wrote:

The bigger question is, ""Can the marriage be saved?" You guys need to get into therapy and figure that part out.

I think that should read... is the marriage worth saving? He has already had oral sex with another man while his wife was watching and his wife has given future permission to have sex with a man.

I may just be old fasioned, but it doesn't seem to me like you are taking your marriage vows very seriously. Why did you get married? You already admitted you jumped into the situation. Perhaps it is better for both of you if you jumped out of the situation so you both have an opportunity explore who you are.

0 Replies

blueveinedthrobber wrote:

That's where women have the advantage. Any girl can sleep with say, a half dozen guys every year and no one calls her a whore, but if our buddy Drew here sucks just ONE dick to see if he likes it.....branded for life. So sad, so unfair.

Sounds like something has left a bitter taste in your mouth..

BADA-BING! ZINGER!!! WOWZA!

0 Replies

Im not gay, in fact I can safely say ive never come over a little queer.

0 Replies

Green Witch wrote:

Why is it the thought of my husband having oral sex with another man totally creeps me out, but most men have no problem with their wives/girlfriends having sex with another woman? In fact they like the idea.

I think I'm going to go wake up my husband and ask him what he thinks.

Green Witch,

Your observation is likely connected to the obligatory "lesbian" scene in most adult films produced for a straight market. The question of why a straight male viewer would be attracted to homosexual--or pretend-homosexual--activity between women was long puzzled over by the research pysch community. A number of universities--Johns Hopkins was one that I recall--finally came up with an accurate analysis. Turns out that most straight males like "lesbian" scenes because they feature TWO naked women at the same time. Secondary preference for the scenes is that they are perceived as somewhat kinky. I assume, by this logic, that the more naked women on-screen at the same time, the better. Being a straight guy, I find this apparent shallowness on our parts a bit embarrassing. But, I guess males tend to be heavily visually oriented in our sexual interest.

Possibly, many men--for the reasons just given--are attracted to fantasizing about their wives and girlfriends having sex with other women.
Whether they'd be pleased with this in reality, I dunno. It sure would freak me out if my wife were doing this for real--and even the fantasy image of it strikes me as pretty creepy, just as you feel at the notion of your husband having sex with a guy is creepy. I may be a minority here among straight males, but, hey, my wife is my wife, and our deal is respectful monogamy. Other people may have other tastes, and that's fine.

When I told my wife about the Hopkins study in the NYT a few years ago, she smiled and nodded her head as if she knew this all along--and why didn't the researchers simply ask some women!

0 Replies

Drew started this thread when he wrote:

I have a problem. I have recently gotten married at a young age (21)and think that I may have "jumped the bandwagon" because everyone else was doing it. I do love my wife and don't know what I would do without her. Even the thought of being without her makes me shutter.

I'm confused. Why would his wife's departure turn him into a window covering?

I just don't get it.

0 Replies

Miklos7 - I did ask my husband (the next day, I decided it would only make him cranky to be woken up) and he said a similar thing: While on one level he understood why men would be turned on by the concept of two naked women, the thought of someone he loved having sex with anyone else seemed hurtful and a betrayal. He also thought the idea of his partner (me) having sex with another woman was "creepy" (my word exactly).

Gus - as someone who has done her share of malapropisms, I shudder to think you actually read this stuff so carefully.

0 Replies

I'm watching you, Green Witch.

Very carefully.

0 Replies

gustavratzenhofer wrote:

I'm watching you, Green Witch.

Very carefully.

Ohhh- Just the idea of that gives me the shivers. Now where's my dictionary and thesaurus...?

0 Replies

You may well be gay, Drew, and it's much better that you get to know and appreciate yourself now than go through years of denial and struggle, if you are, or are somewhere along the range of bi, as many are.

From my point of view honesty with your wife is smart, but also be kind.

0 Replies

In your life time if you build a thousand bridges and suck one cock, you're not going to be remembered as a bridge builder.

0 Replies

Let's go through the "Am I Gay" Checklist.

Do you find yourself:

1) Skipping over football on tv to watch "Designing Women," or anything on the Lifestyle channel?

2) Driving, or wanting to buy a: Miata, New Beetle, or brightly colored Mini?

3) Getting distracted at work, worrying about whether the couch at home would look better on the other side of the room...or if beige curtains were REALLY the right choice?

4) Spending more than 20 seconds picking out an outfit to go to the grocery store?

5) Going out for a beer with your buddy, then accidently falling face first onto his penis in his car in the parking lot?

6) Frequently use "LOL" as a term when talking online?

7) Giggle to yourself when you see women wearing spring outfits in the summer?

8) Heading directly to the "Showtunes" section at the music store?

If you answered "yes" to any of the above, you're probably well on your way to wearing women's underwear on a daily basis.

0 Replies

Ahhh, I knew it was only a matter of time before the old Jacques the Woodsman joke entered the fray.

0 Replies

Could I be Gay?

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know