Will it happen again? How do I stay strong at work?

I work with my ex affair partner (if that’s what you want to call him) .

Rundown of my situation: we met at work 6 months ago, I kept my distance as I knew we had an automatic connection. We ended up “hitting it off” at a company party (yes, my hubby was even there) it was an innocent “hitting it off” if that makes sense. Just a fun night of laughing and having drinks.

At work, he began coming around a lot to just chat. Over time the eye contact began becoming more intense. He asked me out for drinks with him and a friend which didn’t end up happening. Weeks later, one thing led to another in conversation and he asked me to go back to his place. I turned him down, we texted all day and evening. He asked me over the next day, I again said I wasn’t going to be around.

Few days later he said how it wasn’t a good idea and his conscience began to kick in and he felt guilty (he has a girlfriend of about 6 months). I said I understood and the following week we ended up doing it. It was awesome and again, he texted me immediately after I left and we texted all day. Actually had great conversation. 3 days later he texted me saying how he doesn’t think it can happen again, that he likes it in the moment then feels bad for hours afterwards. I said I understood but that it sucks because I will miss his friendship. We texted about it, he said he also thinks about how hard it will be to end it if it went on for months.

We have not spoken since. I decided to go NC. Seeing him at work however hurts especially when he stares at me, making the same deep eye contact as before or for instance, purposely backtracking his steps to go the opposite direction after a meeting so he had to brush right past me and squeeze by.

Honestly, I have so many emotions right now. Im confused, sad, I feel rejected, I feel angry that he can’t even say hi or talk to me yet can stare at me and go out of his way to stare even when he is speaking to someone and I also feel glad he ended it, but I don’t trust myself right now if he were to come back around and I don’t want to ever give in AGAIN! I want to continue to stay strong and stay away from him should he come back around.

Do you think he will try again? Do you think we can ever be friends again since it did only happen once?? Or is it too late? Why is he staring at me, making deep eye contact and brushing/squeezing past me on purpose?

Any advice or input would be appreciated.