I'm Treating My Friend Like **** Because I'm Jealous

Check that attitude at the door, littlek

why?

Yah, why (I agree with lil'K and slappy).

Oh, I get it. Check...

Oh, Check?

I agree with littlek and slappy too.

Is that checkmate?

During your hospitality, does he take you out to dinner? Does he send little thank-you-for-the-free-rent gifts? Does he listen to your tales of woe--or just bitch about his materialistic parents?

Is this a two-way relationship or a host being visited by a leech?

<does Kicky sense that Noddy is setting him up for her visit? little gifts ... tales of woe to be listened to ... Noddy is a REAL friend>

ehBeth--

Noddy is an expert on the perfidity of house guests--particularly house guests who have been spoiled from the cradle.

Well, he does appreciate the place. He takes out the garbage sometimes. He doesn't really bitch about anything at all, ever. He's weird like that. He leaves me articles from the paper, and he sometimes changes my computer desktop background image to a hot naked chick, which I appreciate. He's really not a bad guest. I'm just being a little bit of a jerk, that's all.

Really, I think it's all going to work out fine though. I actually got a call from him tonight and he said he had a freelance gig through this week at least, and if they don't want him after that, he's going back to Florida.

We'll see. I feel like this guy is a little brother or something. He's all heart, but it's like he needs somebody to tell him what he should do all the time...I think he needs a wife.

Noddy, do you have a story of your own that might be pertinent to the topic? If so, I'd love to hear it.

He ain't gonna find a wife with no job.

Just joke with him and tell him he's a lazy ass that needs to get up and do something. Even if it's ordering Don Dupre's Money Making Package at 3am.

Kicky- And YOU'RE not his wife. I think that between you and his parents, you have enabled him to the point where he may NEVER get a permanent job. Why should he, when there is always someone giving him a helping hand? He has never been obliged to stand on his own two feet. Enough is enough, IMO.

I had a friend in her thirties who was in the commercial art field. (What is it about commercial art?). She hated her boss, so she quit. When she looked around for another job, nothing suited her. This one paid too little, that one was not exactly what she wanted, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Anyhow, she ended up taking temporary clerical jobs. How could she do that? Mommy and daddy allowed her to live at home. The last thing that I heard, she was still living at home, after about five years, taking temp jobs, and living with mommy and daddy.

I truly believe that she will NEVER get on her feet professionally. She has been out of her field for too long. If her parents had insisted that she move out in a reasonable period of time, I think things would have been different for her.

Kicky--

My Houseguests from Hell tend to be family and my family doesn't include passive people. I'm not sure how relevant the Saga Of Cousin K will be.

She writes to announce her arrival--and would it be convenient? I reply that since I'm undergoing both radiation treatment and chemo, it would not be convenient.

Silence--until we get a phone call at 10:30 at night from a roadhouse somewhere out in the Boonies--our Boonies. She never got my letter and now she's lost and can't find our house.

Mr. Noddy goes out searching and unfortunately finds Cousin K.
Meanwhile I put clean sheets on the futon and throw together a light supper.

Cousing K doesn't want a light supper. Cousin K wants to eat a bag of potato chips--a 15 ounce bag--teasing the dog with every bite. I'm exhausted. Mr. Noddy is exhausted Cousin K. doesn't want to go to bed--she wants to watch television, but not with the nasty old headphones.

I remind Cousin K that I'm undergoing both radiation therapy and chemotherapy and I need my sleep. She can pick a good book from the shelves or I will pick a good book for her.

The next morning Cousin K sleeps until 11 a.m. When she wakes, I'm watering the just-planted shrubbery. She wants to wash her car. I point out that we're in the middle of a spectacular drought AND that we're on a well.

Cousin K pouts loudly. (Keep in mind, this is a woman in her 50's.) I wimp out and hand her the hose. Cousin K washes her car for 45 minutes and comes in giggling that she's been playing with the hose like a little girl.

She announces that she's going to stay another day--but not to worry, she'll make us dinner. Great talk about the wonderful dinner she will prepare. Dinner turns out to be deli ham and American cheese arranged on a platter.

I get through the rest of the day, heartened by the thought of peace and quiet on the morrow. Cousin K fills me in on the shortcomings of her mother, her father and her brothers and sisters. She's also at odds with her neighbors and her co-workers. I excuse myself and go to bed. Mr. Noddy has wimped out long before.

Cousin K sleeps until 11 a.m. I make her breakfast and ask shall I pack a lunch for the road?

Cousin K announces that she's not leaving yet--she likes to drive after the heat of the day and her next victims aren't expecting her until the evening.....

Now, the only part that may be relevant: Several years later Cousin K just put one little toe over the line of acceptable and I banish her forever.

You want a spectactular house guest....I'll give you a spectacular house guest. Your buddy sounds like a nondescript leech.

I can envision the scenes with cousin K.

Phoenix, after consulting others on this, I have decided that yes, my friend is an immature person who needs someone to give him a verbal ass-kicking.

I think he is probably leaving to go back to Florida this weekend, so he will be his mommy and daddy's problem after that.

Noddy, that was a woman in her fifties? Wow! I was thinking it was a very stupid teenage girl until you mentioned her age. Amazing.

Ooh I think all you people are angels!

Me? I don't get houseguests. My sisters won't visit unless I specifically invite them. I had two friends of a friend call me and inform me they were visiting Boston (from Ireland). I know they wanted me to invite them to stay with me. I gave them the phone number of a B&B nearby. When they asked if they could stay with me, I said no. Why not, they said. Coz I hate people, I said. Aren't I special? But I guess my friends and family love me anyway. I would go above and beyond for people I love, but have no compunction about saying a firm "No" to others who I am not that close to.

"Coz I hate people". That's great. Gotta love that direct approach.

How the hell did you get 11,166 posts and I'm here a year longer than you? Chatty little thing aren't you?

You claim you are treating your friends like **** because you are jealous.

You ought to consider other possibilities.

Perhaps you are treating them like **** because you are a prick...or something like that.

Frank, I have thought of that. It is a definite possibility. But hey, if I can help just one person by being a complete prick, I feel that I will not have lived in vain.

Heeven,

It's only because I know how much you all need me. I feel obligated to you, therefore I write as much as I can, so that your lives might be brightened by my greatness.

It's because I care, and you feel that.

I almost ralphed on my shoes, until I read Franks post and realized there are some people I don't hate so much.