Thank you for sharing your testimony with us in another post. You were very gracious to share with us. We did not have to insist that you do so since God knows why you are so agnostic about His existence.
The gospel tells us that a major reason that Jesus died for our sins is to have a deep personal relationship with us. God wants us to know that He exists and a lot more. Please read Ephesians chapters 1-3 for some indication of what God has done for us.
My guesses are about you, not God. For example, I believe that Catholic doctrine has caused Catholics to not realize that God wants a deep spiritual relationship with them. The Bible clearly states that Jesus is our Advocate, High Priest, Intercessor, etc.
No Catholic priest holds that role.
It seems like you "grew up" in your 20's. However, you had served in the military when you "grew up".
Perhaps Lead foot is correct about you being the rocky soil that the seed falls on. You had an exciting experience and then normal life set in.
I serve Almighty God which will be exciting all my life. I would much rather serve God than a man (the pope).
Anyway, we all have the opportunity to KNOW that God exists.