@hogger,
So you're upset your **** buddy isn't treating you like a boyfriend? Well, you're not exactly treating her like a girlfriend. If you want things to change, then start.
Ask her out. Not to screw. Not to a party. Not to get drunk. Dinner and a movie, your standard, classic date. You're inviting, so you pay. Have a lovely time, kiss her goodnight, and go home. You know, as if she was someone you just met and liked, and wanted to get to know better. Hold off on sex for a few dates (yes, you can do it).
If she refuses or flakes or continues with the passive-aggressive crap, then you don't have to continue, you know.
And for God's sake, stop getting your relationship cues from Instagram.