Time doesn't heal all wounds; it just covers it up better. Time DOES give you the opportunity to deal with hurts, whereas when it was fresh, it's just too impossible to deal with.
Honestly, you two should see a relationship therapist. it'll help him listen to you and it'll help you talk to him and listen too.
You didn't deserve to be cheated on, but many times it's better to find out why it happened. For you. For him.
just glancing over an event when after 10 yrs, you're still not over it, means one person will always be unhappy.
Leave this relationship, if you aren't happy.
Stay in this relationship, if you two can find a way to see a therapist and work out your hurts given/taken.
Good luck and I wish you the best!