I’m Worried About my Boyfriends Attraction to Women With Breast Implants

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A couple of nights ago my boyfriend and I decided to try (it was my initial suggestion) watching pornography together before making love. I thought it might be fun and I was interested in what kind of pornography he liked (we’ve been dating almost a year and never discussed it before). He, though hesitant, and after we watched a few videos starring pornstars he liked, admitted that he is hugely attracted to slim blonde girls with over-sized breast implants (the obvious kind), and said that he won’t watch ornography unless he knows the blonde girl has implants. I know that he used to have a thing for the actresses Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra (and I must have been the last person in the world who didn’t know Their boobs were fake. It’s not something I know about or have paid attention to), and I guess that’s why it’s such a big part of his sexual personality. He says he loves me and I know that’s true and that he loves and desires my body, but I feel I am the exception. That he would ideally (because he admits it’s his ideal) be with a slim blonde girl with obvious and very large round fake breasts. He said I’m the only person he’s ever told and that he had felt ashamed and embarrassed about it for s long time it can’t deny that it’s something that’s a big part of him, and very important to him. He says that a person can have more than one ideal, but though I don’t want him to feel bad about it I can’t help feeling that I’m not enough.

Please can you share your thoughts on my post and tell me what you think and if I should try and not make him feel negatively about it.

Thanks for reading my post.

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Type: Discussion • Score: 4 • Views: 2,250 • Replies: 5

@JayneP,

There is this notion that a man will have "an ideal" and that anything that deviates from that is less than desirable. The reality is that any given man is attracted to a wide swath of women, there is not a perfect "10". That your guy likes Pamela Anderson doesn't mean he's not attracted to you, he can be attracted to both (and Anderson is likely not available).

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@JayneP,

You should definitely NOT try to make him feel guilty about this.

We each have sexual responses, fantasies, etc that are just a part of who we are whether we are born that way or if we are acculturated to it or some combination of those two factors. I'm drawn to redheads. God knows why but it is so. Yet all my relationships (I'm 70, so there have been a few) have been with partners either blonde, brunette or black-haired. Never once have I thought negatively about those mates because of their hair color.

And, it is entirely normal for you to have anxieties in the manner you've explained above. We all have them. Am I too short, too fat, too skinny? Is my nose ugly? It's a curse we all suffer from.

You note that he was embarrassed/ashamed to share his feelings about breasts and that he had never previously shared this personal information with anyone else. That he did share it with you is a very positive sign about both of you and your relationship.

So, any thing you might say or do that would make him feel guilty is going to hurt your relationship far more than enhance it. You ought to move in the opposite direction. Allow him to feel ok about this part of himself. Indeed, help him to feel ok about it. Be playful, not serious.

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@JayneP,

I wouldn't confront him or anything of the kind. Ask yourself this: While watching the porn, what guys were you attracted to? And does your boyfriend meet that image?

There's more to a person than the way they look: however, if you look at pornography, then that's only thing that you see that you can judge somebody on. Furthermore, there are all sorts of strange attractions and fetishes out there: foot worship, nose licking, BDSM, or even gay men for girls or lesbians for men. Large fake boobs is a relatively mild one, imho.

Rather then confront him about this in a negative manner, reflect on the fact that it more than likely took him a great deal of trust and belief in you and your relationship to open up about this: be thankful he doesn't hide these things, but is willing to talk about them.

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"I thought it might be fun and I was interested in what kind of pornography he liked (we’ve been dating almost a year and never discussed it before)."

Sometimes asking "What do you think?" can be a dangerous question to ask.

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@JayneP,

Do you want to keep your guy or to loose him to another girl who has breast implants?

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I’m Worried About my Boyfriends Attraction to Women With Breast Implants

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