Threatened with divorce once again- am I crazy?

I agree to a point. Here I sit on the computer checking in at A2K. Last night I sat at the computer winning a couple thousand dollars playing Texas Hold'Em at Pokerroom.com (play money, darn). At the same time Mr B was on his computer playing a computer game and watching TV. We were both engaged in 'me time' and it was enjoyable for both of us. The difference is that MrsMit has expressed concerns about his 'me time', which he admits has been excessive, for years. There's nothing wrong with individual pursuits within a marriage as long as the time spent isn't done to avoid interacting with the other partner.

During my first marriage I worked 12 hour days and brought work home. I was convinced the amount of time spent on it was necessary to do the job right. Once my husband and I separated (my choice) I found myself leaving the office after a nine hour day and enjoying quiet evenings at home or out with friends. I was in the same job but it didn't seem to take quite so long to get my work done as it did during my marriage. I honestly hadn't realised that I was filling my waking hours with work to avoid having any time to interact with my husband.

My original suggestion to Mit was to look at his actions in terms of how much of his time was being directed toward self-nurturing. This is oftentimes a result of not getting enough from our relationships. Mit has said much about what he gives to his marriage and his wife, he hasn't mentioned what he gets out of it. I'm hearing that he has a sense of obligation to stay in a marriage whether he gets anything from it or not. It is only natural that he will look for ways to feel good in his life and if that doesn't come, at least in part, from his relationship then it will come only from his work and his hobbies.

Mit, you say you wife has no outside interests. That's a very sad place to be and I hope for her sake she can become involved in something enjoyable. I still don't know what that will bring to you from your marriage.

My original suggestion to Mit was to look at his actions in terms of how much of his time was being directed toward self-nurturing. This is oftentimes a result of not getting enough from our relationships. Mit has said much about what he gives to his marriage and his wife, he hasn't mentioned what he gets out of it. I'm hearing that he has a sense of obligation to stay in a marriage whether he gets anything from it or not. It is only natural that he will look for ways to feel good in his life and if that doesn't come, at least in part, from his relationship then it will come only from his work and his hobbies.

So I DO enjoy my marriage, which is one of the reasons I don't want to get divorced. But I also, as JB points out, like to spend a fair amount of time pursuing my own interests, and am pretty miserable when I can't do this. Does this mean I don't want to be married? That's not a retorical question, I really am confused.