Big day tomorrow. Family Court at 9.45am...

You are all the greatest!!

I'm a little stuck for time at present so Ill be posting the saga (yes, it continues) this evening (OZ time). It wasn't exactly perfect, but there was a lot of blinking from the other side - staying reasonable here*.





*I suspect that these aren't words you would expect to see me posting

...and Deb, why does this little cute bunny have such a ...suprised... look on it's face?



Is it something to do with the joke that ends:

can't wait to hear more later!

Mr. Stillwater--

We're on your side. Hold your dominion.

Mr. Still
Just found this, so sorry I'm late. I'm in this long line here waiting for my chance to slap the ex! That's just cruel!!! I've got everything crossed for you and little girl.
Go get em tiger ;-)

Ditto's from this peanut gallery as well, Mr. Stillwater! I am wishing you the very best and eagerly anticipating the outcome. What an honourable man you are sir, and I thank you for that!

You're quiet today, Stilly. I hope you're OK. (No hugs sent, as requested.)
<sigh>

Oh dear. Maybe I should have started at this thread and not one dealing with tomatoes..... you weren't feeling very.. botanical today, I hope?

There you are!!! So, what hapened????

OK. The details for my audience.


I turn up on time at the Family Court of Australia. For those who aren't sure of the location (I guess that is everybody) - it is quite close to the city centre, but in a sort of legal ghetto. It is not uncommon to meet a silk (barrister) or Superior Counsel (super-barrister) in their strange garb. I take it that in the US there is no wearing of gowns and wigs anymore. It is a pity, it's the only hangover from the 17th Century we still have.

I am the only one there. I start to think that maybe the other side has tossed it in and I will get a ruling by default. I am also as nervous as hell - I have never been in the Court without a strong desire to vomit up my breakfast. It is VERY intimidating.

I sit and listen in to the first actions. There's a Dad arguing for overnight access to his boys, he says that they benefit from having a male influence in their lives. The Registrar is sympathetic.

Next, we have some issues around a fellow who seems to be having some problems about attending Court. The solicitor doesn't actually mock him, but there is the implication. His solicitor concedes that his client does have some brain damage, but is trying to hold down a job at present......

Nah, not to worry. I'm suffering from the effects of a recent return to full-time work! (Temporary. ) Arghhh! I'm not feeling the least bit botanical, sadly ... I think I have brain damage.

But what about you, Stilly? Did you manage to achieve a bit of what you'd hoped for today? I hope so.

I look up. My wife's solicitor (aka Bitchface) is gesturing me to see them outside the courtroom. Great, I REALLY want to chuck now! There is another woman with her, with a sense of despair I realise it must be the Children's Representative from Legal Aid.

Yep, it is the Children's Rep. Thanks to some artful arguing of the case by wife's solicitor we have a Court-appointed representative for the children. The ultimate accessory? 'You might have a Malibu Ken and a Barbie Camper, but I have my OWN legal representative!'. So, they have been colluding. That is the only word for it - for the last half-hour or so, they have been chatting away about the case WITHOUT ME, in some sort of damage control mode. This is the only possible explanation - it is not as though my wife's solicitor has my best interests at heart*.




*last week I received a letter from them saying that turning up to pick up the kids intimidated my ex and that I'd better smarten up if I didn't want trouble!

And then ...?

Did the court grant you visitation with your youngest daughter?

Now, get on - I've an appointment with my dentist shortly!

I can only think that my body language is somewhat 'resentful', but we aren't allowed that luxury here. So myself, Child's Rep and opposing attorney retire to discuss matters - I'm just happy that they included me this time!

In short: we are expecting an Expert Report soon. That should give us something to work with, the expert should be making recommendations on what is the best sort of contact between myself and the girls AND between myself and our 'foundling'. In two weeks there will also be a mediation session that Legal Aid has arranged for us to work out some sort of parenting plan in a non-Court way (thank Christ!). Failing that, the other side have also defaulted for the pre-trial hearing and so there is going to be another session two days after the mediation*.

Right. If I hold out till the Expert's Report comes out, there is a damn good chance that the expert will just say outright 'Let the girl see the father'.

He might also not say that.

This is a consideration. It is also a consideration that if I do push it and get the access NOW, the Court might take it AWAY next time. This is why the Child's Rep won't be batting for me today (thanks!!). I have to think very furiously.

I am sure that the application won't be refused now - so it won't be refused in two weeks or so. I have already waited more than 9 months to get this far, better to be certain than not?

But, there may be some value in pushing it now. If the application is successful, then it is harder to break with precedent. However, the goddamn lawyer might just as easily tell the ex to make up excuses and stall, hoping to piss me off enough to say or do something 'threatening'.


*I am sorry if this may seem to be very convoluted and complicated. Nothing seems to be straight-forward in this process and it is very much run by lawyers for the benefit of lawyers - not families...

It is an Ancient Petitioner,
he stoppeth one on three,
now by your grey beard,
why stoppeth thou me?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww f*ck!!

Big decisions, made in tiny increments of time. The stuff of madness.



I look at the Children's Rep, I sort of look at Bitchface - I suck in air noisely. I choose.

"I can wait two weeks".


The reasonable reply. Immediately the tension in the room drops to non-fatal levels. We are in agreement. I will NOT push today. We will tell the Registrar that pending:

1. The Expert's report
2. The mediation

we will be able to report back to the next court-ordered session on the outcome AND I still have the option to take up this issue if the outcomes aren't satisfactory.

I still want to puke. Bitchface rushes out to tell my ex and her spawn-of-Satan-handicap-under-par father (he always turns up, what is the point of funding the humiliation of your son-in-law in court if you can't attend?). I am left with the collaborator, she knows that of everyone in the place I just made the hardest decision, because I am always going to be the one with the most to lose here.

Did your wife file any type of action to have your status as the youngest child's legal father terminated?

Did you look up the laws in New South Wales / Australia to see if she has the right to disestablish your parentage of the child?

I can't find the laws online . . . .