@unhappyman43,
As chai2 said, not every family hopes to have kids. That's not even close to a fact. And having a child isn't somehow your 'right'.
The kid/no kid debate should be an absolute deal breaker in
100% of all cases. I am serious - this is because there is 0% chance of a compromise. One child isn't a compromise for someone who wants none; it's them not getting what they want in the equation. Having no children isn't a compromise for someone who wants at least one; it's them not getting what they want in the equation.
By the way, let's say your wife acquiesces and bears your child. How committed are you to raising this child? And I mean
really raising him or her and not just coming home from work, having a short talk and then maybe bathing them or reading to them until they're five or six years old and then not returning to the task until it's time to decide whether to hand out the car keys or meet the boyfriend or girlfriend.
Real parenting - the real,
real deal - means tutoring and helping with homework, cleaning (the child and their room and any other messes until the child is able to do such things on his/her own), chauffeuring, meeting the teachers, at times volunteering to do school stuff, caring for them when they are sick (and missing work, often), taking them shopping, getting them to the doctor and dentist, keeping track of their appointments, getting them to do their chores, dealing with their coaches if they play sports, etc. etc. etc.
And that's for a child who grows up with every expectation of growing up well and healthy and becoming independent at some future date. Do you know what having a child with autism entails? How about a child with cystic fibrosis? Or spina bifida? Or Down's Syndrome? Or bipolar disorder? These are still children deserving of love, care, and attention, but there's a lot more work involved. Don't say it's impossible for your child to be this way. We
all know someone with a child (or who is themselves) with one or more of any of these conditions. How do you feel about carrying a child who will never walk, or changing a child into their teens and older because they will never be out of diapers? You prepared for a time of watching your child die young, or have suicidal tendencies?
Any of these could very well be your wife's concerns. So instead of pressuring her and making it all about your alleged rights and happiness, why not find out what her perspective is. Having a child goes on way beyond 9 months or even 18 or 21 years. Find out where she stands in all of this, and decide where you stand in all of it as well.
And consider alternatives as well. You can mentor at a local school, at pretty much any grade (and even for older children, to maybe help them find their first jobs). Your area might have a Big Brothers-style program where you can really help a fatherless child in need. Consider how committed you are to any of these programs. Perhaps you can demonstrate a commitment if your wife is on the fence and if that's what is causing her concern. But if you commit to mentoring a child and you only show up once, then that would not help your cause at all in terms of proving responsibility.