7
   

Boyfriend cheated what do I do?

 
 
Reply Sun 11 Feb, 2018 08:42 am
Basically, me and my boyfriend had a big argument and he stormed out the house and went out with his friends that night and blocked me on everything so I couldn't contact him, anyway long story short he kissed a girl and then stayed over night at her house and spend all Sunday morning with her whilst telling me he was waiting for a lift to go collect his car, he then came back to mine Sunday night and we slept together and I presumed we were together. Anyway he was still talking to her behind my back and then on the Tuesday he told me in tears his mum had been rushed to hospital again with a suspected brain aneurysm and he had to go see her, I helped him get all his stuff and he drove to the hospital that night he actually took this other girl out for dinner and went back to hers and slept with her before returning home at 2 am saying his mum was in surgery, anyway we were fine and then on Friday I told him that I heard he kissed a girl when he went out he went absolutely mental and left again surprise surprise back to her house to shag her, I then went on his phone and found all this out and got in contact with the girl he said to me that he didn't think me and him were together as he stormed out after the argument but admits neither of us actually ended the relationship. He now wants me back And I have no idea what to do? I love this guy and we have a house and a future planned together we were meant to be getting married and even had baby names picked out I just don't know how I can trust him seen as in the messages with her he lied about so much stuff to impress her? He also admitted he slept with more people than he said he did originally which I'm not bothered about but I just don't get why he's lied I really am devastated and heartbroken and really need some advice.
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Sun 11 Feb, 2018 09:21 am
@Maddiiix,
He's a liar and a cheat. And he played on your (understandable) sympathies with that cock and bull story about his mother - who I suspect had no idea he was using her as an excuse to go get laid.

Step back and assess this. What would you tell a friend?

You'd probably tell him or her to cut loose as soon as possible, and that hanging around would only make it harder to let go later. You would probably tell your friend that the person who cheated on them was a proven liar who was probably also lying about commitments and marriage and kids, etc. You'd probably shore up your friend and tell him or her that they are attractive and worthwhile and that they deserve better, and that someone will come along and will make them forget all about the lying cheater.

Now look in the mirror and tell yourself that, because you deserve to treat yourself as well as you would treat a friend.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sun 11 Feb, 2018 12:34 pm
@Maddiiix,
Yikes! This guy's off the chart!!

Imagine what life would be like if you two got married. Don't even think about having kids with this guy.

Break off all financial ties and pack up his stuff.
Maddiiix
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 Feb, 2018 01:24 pm
@PUNKEY,
Sounds like such a lame thing to say but he seems genuinely sorry, he told me he's willing to do anything to sort this out, do you not even think it's worth seeing if he changes before getting into anything major again just like me and him to test the water maybe? Or is that my heart thinking and I'm being totally ridiculous lol
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 Feb, 2018 01:35 pm
@Maddiiix,
Sure, every pathological liar needs ANOTHER chance.
Maddiiix
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 Feb, 2018 02:11 pm
@PUNKEY,
Idk I've just been googling loads of **** about guys doing it and regretting it and I just think maybe that's him? I haven't spoken to him properly today I had to block him because of the constant begging but he needs to bring some of my stuff back to me so maybe I could hear him out in person?
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 Feb, 2018 02:17 pm
@Maddiiix,
Did you google "narcissist liar"?!

Maddiiix
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 Feb, 2018 02:18 pm
@PUNKEY,
Haha okay I get your point I'm being stupid 😂
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 Feb, 2018 02:23 pm
@PUNKEY,
Let me guess: because you blocked his incessant begging, he will turn to anger and blame you for the entire event.
Maddiiix
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 Feb, 2018 02:35 pm
@PUNKEY,
No he's actually been okay with it he text me instead of Facebook and asked why I blocked him and when he could drop my stuff off, he's actually been grown up and not showing the crazy ex wants revenge side which is why I'm tempted to hear him out as he normally goes off the rails straight away? Maybe this is a wake up call for him?
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Sun 11 Feb, 2018 03:43 pm
@Maddiiix,
You are minimizing and rationalizing his behavior.

Good luck.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Sun 11 Feb, 2018 10:40 pm
@Maddiiix,
If you are insistent on letting him back into your life - arrange for counselling - on your own and as a couple. Take your OP to the first counselling sessions.

Whatever else - make 200% sure there is no way you can get pregnant in the next year.

You both have a lot to sort out.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  3  
Reply Mon 12 Feb, 2018 10:32 am
@Maddiiix,
Maddiiix wrote:

Sounds like such a lame thing to say but he seems genuinely sorry


He also had you believing his mum had just had an aneurism. It sounds like he's very good at seeming like someone else.

This wasn't a one off, it was systematic, and he did it because he knows you'll believe any old bollocks he makes up. Have a word with yourself and knock it on the head.
0 Replies
 
 

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