Unsure if I'm being cheated on. The signs are there but...

I bet my username is a little misleading but I'm not the cheater. At least not anymore, but let me explain. I have not cheated on my husband but I have cheated in two other relationships in the past during my teen years. I have admitted it to both people but I'll get back to that a little later on.

I will try to make this as short as possible (since I am a rambler) without leaving any important details out. My husband and I have only been married for a few months but we have been together for a few years and have a young son together and another on the way. We are both young (mid twenties) with children from previous relationships/marriages. We met online and hit it off, eventually had a few dates then he asked me to be in a relationship with him. Everything was magical for the first 3/4 months of our relationship then he started to exhibit serious jealousy. Granted, my ex (child's father) came to town to visit his daughter and my husband travels for work so he developed some paranoia but I assured him that nothing would ever happen between my ex and myself, I answered his calls, video chatted him and answered any questions no matter how annoying. Ever since then (almost 3 years ago) I was constantly accused of sleeping with someone. I mean on a daily basis multiple times a day no exaggeration. Sometimes he would go a day or two without accusations and expect to be applauded for it. I am accused of sleeping with his friends, coworkers, etc and also just staring at people which all caused arguments. I've reassured and defended my case time and time again doing course I'm exhausted from it. So now after my initial I'm not cheating on you I get frustrated and it turns argumentative. Now the kicker is when I ask a question for reassurance (something I rarely ever did because I not only trusted him, but am very secure with myself) I don't get it. He either ignores me or won't give me eye contact and tries to flip it most of the time because he says going by my logic the accuser may be the guilty. The nerve of him especially since i've dealt with this for so damn long.

His accusations coupled with other red flags has now made me paranoid although I try to convince myself that I am in fact being paranoid so most of the time I say nothing until it builds up.
**Some background info which makes things even more confusing for me:

- he claims his ex cheated on him but he couldn't prove it during the relationship but is certain that afterwards he had his "proof"

-he says his mom cheated and left his father

-his ex doesn't allow him to speak to their child (I can vouch for this)

-I've found a size large hoodie in our back laundry room that he tried to convince me was my nephews. The only problem is the hoodie is slightly smaller than his hoodies which are sized medium... And my sister confirmed that it is not his. He asked all of his friends which they denied owning the hoodie then magically two weeks later one friend claimed it. Apparently he bought it while they were out on the road and forgot about it. Only problem is the hoodie appeared worn and had a broken zipper. First I was told it was picked up at a Walmart then it changed to a goodwill. Not sure if goodwill sells damaged items so I really can't say much about it.

-I've found an eyelash strip on my porch. Granted it could have been picked up and dropped off by a shoe without noticing. My sisters also were around so I asked them and they both said that they weren't missing one.

- he's come home from being gone for days for work with a longgg hair wrapped around his junk. Being that he travels I would assume that he would notice the hair at a rest stop. He claims that it was mine (I occasionally wear extensions) but hadn't for some time before that. Granted sometimes it does get in the laundry but I mean it was wrapped around it a few times. How can one not feel that all day?

-I believe he has gaslighting tendencies. I have caught him making up stories (even involving my child) to catch me in stuff that doesn't exist. He's claim to find some type of oil that wouldn't work for my truck, in the hood of my truck. I honestly didn't even know how to open the hood prior to that.

- came home from travel one day smelling like a different cologne. He says he tried to buy it from a rest stop vending machine but it sprayed him instead of distributing a packet.

-has asked me why I trust him so much when asked why he can't trust me.

-very vocal about his dislike of cheaters. He would bring it up often, mentioning how hurt he would be if I cheated etc.

Now more recently he went through a depression of sorts. We had a lot going on at home (necessary household items breaking which cost a lot of money, still unable to speak to his child) so he would avoid me.. Would hangout in a different part of the house than the kids and me. Barely spoke just looked to be in deep thought. Didn't initiate sex and even turned his back and went to sleep earlier but would leave more than usual to hang with his friends. It went on for about two weeks and during that time I let him know how neglected I felt. He didn't want to hear it and nothing changed and then it did. Sex life is still a little lacky but I'm also pregnant.
He blamed it on not speaking to his son just like he blames his accusations on that reason. Could he be spacing out and reliving his past relationship?

We've actually been on decent terms the last week or two so I'm not sure why in even here. I can't shake the feeling now that I've been oblivious. Or could his run ins with women shaped his outlook on trust? He also says other women he's dealt with have done some shady stuff and he stopped dealing with them for those reasons.
He gives me access till his phone but I don't really check it although he's always over my shoulder when I get a text or call. I believe that I should give the same respect that I expect. I'm very private with nothing to hide. I know he's emotionally abusive in a sense and I've suggested counselling. He has separated me from friends and family to the point where I really have no interest outside of my kids and him. Started arguments if I went anywhere without him but lately he wants me to go do things because now he wants to do things more often. He was always under me and now he's more distant.

Also before anyone asks why I married him anyway, I honestly believed that the more I fought for us and proved my dedication then it could open his eyes to my devotion. He hasn't made MANY accusations in the last few weeks but they slowed down around the time of his "depression". Not sure if he got the message or something else is up.
Could all of this be really bad karma for the mistakes I've made as a teen? (told you that there would be more on it). Thinking back on how I acted when I was up to no good it kind of relates but not as extreme. I would occasionally accuse even though I knew that my ex wouldnt do that to me until they finally had enough and actually did. Or is he just that damn crazy?
Although he leaves a little more than usual he still at home often enough for me to feel he couldn't be cheating. When would he have the time? Could it before he hits the road or on the way home? Are some of his hangouts with friends lies? Why does he calculate the time that i am gone but expects me to be okay with his absences when they do occur?