The teenage years

Lol, I mean the kids at the church camp become pregnant. Also I get my info from all my friends that I know.

They got "hidden" areas were you can sneak off too and have sex. But the dumb ones forget the condoms sadly.

Hello Zassou - Welcome to A2K

M leaves tonight for three days in Washington, DC with 99 of her classmates. DC hasn't had any rain in months, but they're getting nailed by Tammy this weekend. I'm sure the kids will still have fun.

K is going to her Homecoming dance tomorrow night with a he-friend from church. She's having an after-dance party here. Mr B and I are hosting a bonfire for friends, neighbors and the parents of the teens. It could be a wild night!

M's departure is delayed due to 'aircraft servicing'

There are 65 eighth graders on that plane (the other 35 are on a different flight). I'm not nervous; nope, I'm fine; honest

J_B--

"Delayed flight" means they found the problem on the ground.

I understand that most aircraft engines are easier to fix in hangers than in flight.

Meanwhile, you're dealing with flesh of your flesh and bone of your bone. I'll spare a thought for the chaperones who are undoubtedly being held responsible for the delay.

Hold your dominion.

It's been awhile since I posted anything to this thread. I said I didn't want it to only relate to the difficulties of the teenage years but I haven't been very good at posting the upside. Let me do that now...

K is 15 and looking forward to learning to drive this year. At the beginning of the school year I told her about 'good student discounts' on auto insurance and our expectation that she would qualify before she got her driver's license. She was heartsick as she's always been wonderfully creative but a marginal academic student. We were convinced she could improve if she applied herself and she was convinced she couldn't do it without 'help', as in ritilin or some other designer pharma concoction.

We all agreed to try a holistic approach and took her to the same health center that helped her with last year's depression and self-injury, which we haven't seen any signs of since last spring (YEAH!). They gave her some drops and some herbals to help with attention and told her to take them as long as she felt she needed the help. She started with three times/day in September and is now down to occasionally taking them on some school days when she's feeling particularly stressed.

Her first quarter report card was in the high honors category and she recently earned 100% on a math test which has always been her greatest struggle - amazing job, K, we're very, very proud of you. She's also playing in two orchestras as well as at church on Christmas Eve and during an upcoming youth-led service and looking forward to her spring trip to Europe to play in Vienna. What a difference a year makes!!! I'm sensitive to the effects of winter on her psyche and I'm keeping my eyes open, but she seems to have made a tremendous leap in self confidence.

M is now 13 and wants to spend every waking minute with her friends. She has a group of about 8 or 10 mixed he/she friends and they seem to spend all their time together. We live out of town so I'm spending my life driving her here and there or occasionally cleaning up after the gang gathers here. She held a bonfire here last fall and had a great time and they were all here the other night, but mostly it's easier to get her into town than to get everyone else out here.

M has always been academically strong and is pushing the margin in the other direction, asking why she should work hard on grades when her friends are all having fun. I've reminded her that she doesn't work all that hard at it and doing her homework isn't negotiable. Her friends also have parents who insist that homework be done - nice try, but no cigar!

From my own childhood memories I've always thought that 14ish was the toughest stage, both for the child and for the parents. It certainly was for K and I see M looking for her own ways to push the envelope. I still have vivid memories of when I was 14 and have sent many thoughts to my mother about only now having an understanding of what she went through with the four of us. It's an amazing journey from both sides of the fence.

J_B--

Wonderful! Some of the best presents for parents aren't under the tree, wrapped up in fancy paper.

You and your family are going to have a wonderful holiday season--albeit with a few of those intense moments needed for contrast which will enhance the general joy.

Hold your dominion.

K starts driver's training today . She won't be on the road until late next week sometime but, "Watch out, Chicagoland!"

She also played an unaccompanied cello solo at church on Sunday. This was the first time she'd played for a large crowd. She played the prelude from Bach's Suite 1 For Unaccompanied Cello, S. 1007. It was amazing!

On the semi-down side, she's back talking with her therapist. It's February and the seasonal lows are hitting her. She says she doesn't feel like she's depressed, she just feels the need to talk. It's good she's noticing how she feels and can ask for help before sinking back into a well. The days are getting longer and spring will be here soon.

J_B--

Good for K. Do you know how many adults refused to admit that they're holding on to sanity with a very threadbare rope?

"Know Thyself"--a life long project that she's getting a head start on.

Hold your dominion.

We've started taking K out on the road to practice driving. She's still in classes and hasn't had her first road session with the instructor yet but they've recommended we get her on the road. For now we're doing small trips at certain times of day. The other night I let her drive to her driver's ed class. It's after rush hour and traffic is fairly light at that time of night. She was doing fine until a cop pulled out of the lane coming from the opposite direction with it's lights on, barrelling towards us, straddling both lanes.

I told K to pull over and stop, but it was deer in the headlights time and she hit the accelerator to ????, try to get by him faster maybe, dunno, but the more <and louder> I said to pull over and stop, the faster she went. Fortunately there was a wide shoulder and she pulled over as the cop reached us. We all lived to talk about it and hopefully learn from it but the percentage of grey on my head will probably double over the next few weeks.

The first time I went out driving in our suburban neighborhood my mother told me to pull over to let another car pass. I hadn't noticed the car that was crawling up my bumper and I panicked when I looked in the rear view mirror and hit the gas as I tried to pull over. I ended up going up over the curb and knocking over a line plastic garbage cans like bowling pins. We had to unwedge one from under the car and it was smashed. My mother left some money in the door of the house with a note apologizing for the accident. After that only my father and brother were willing to take me out to practice.

J_B--

Figure that each gray hair represents 1000 miles of safe driving ahead. Now "K" knows that Real Roads are less flexible than bumper cars.

Hold your dominion.

Eeek!

I remember doing the accelerator/ brakes mix-up when I was learning to drive, too. Scary mix-up!

K and Mr B are not coming home today afterall. Their KLM flight out of Amsterdam was canceled yesterday so everyone on today's flight has been bumped to tomorrow. K borrowed a cell phone and called last night (this morning, local Prague time). She was one unhappy puppy and just wants to come home

Aw...

Hope they can make something of the layover.

Re-heated fatted calf, is still loving catering.

In the year ahead, K may remember her intense travel fatigue and home-sickness as one ingredient in learning proportion.

Mr. B. has my sympathy. He didn't cause the delay. He can't fix the delay. He still has to be a responsible, authority figure.

Today is a grey, dreary day in Chicagoland. Both girls were lounging around, doing not much of anything. When I returned from the healthclub they told me they'd decided they wanted to go to the movies together.

Amazing things are unfolding. My almost 16 year old daughter and my 14 year old daughter have decided, at the risk of being seen together, to spend the afternoon at the movies!!!

I instantly said yes, let K drive us all over to the threater, and smiled a big mama smile as I watched them head into the building. They're growing up!

J_B--

Glorious moments--and you deserve them. Hold your dominion.

Yesterday was Mother's Day. For weeks the girls and Mr B were pestering me about what I wanted to do to celebrate. Each time I told them I wanted the gift of their time. I didn't want to go out for brunch or dinner; I didn't want them to cook special things for me; I didn't want it to be about food at all. I just wanted us to spend time together. I spend many hours outside in the spring - working in the woods, prepping and planting the garden beds, etc. - and I asked them to help me.

The weather wasn't cooperative for a full day outside, but we did spend a couple hours in the woods together pulling garlic mustard. Mostly, we talked. We talked about their friends and school, their future plans, things we want to do this summer, things that are happening within the extended family, and whatever else came up during the conversation. I had a few calls during the day from relatives and friends, each asking me how I was celebrating Mother's Day. My answer - talking to my daughters.

It was a wonderful day!

J_B--

A wonderful day--and you deserved it.

Aw, that sounds wonderful! :-)