The giant red flags when dating a woman

Forums: Dating
Email this Topic • Print this Page

I recently started thinking of my past dating experiences after being caught up in what I'll just call a "situation". I've been in a problematic long term relationship and self reflection to better understand myself is my current goal. I wanted to share what I have learned to be red flags when dating a female. I'm sure some of these can also apply to a males as well, but I can only draw upon my experiences of being a 34 year old man who has dated a good majority of women.

1. She talks about constantly being screwed over in life. She never knows why, but everyone takes advantage of her somehow. Victim mindset. RUN!
2. She talks about her ex. Doesn't matter if she says good or bad things about him, she's clearly not over him if she's telling YOU about her ex.
3. She doen't talk to her family. If she doesn't talk to her family, most likely she has some serious issues brewing.
4. She flirts with other guys while on a date with you. Either she's trying to make you jealous or she's still checking options. Don't waste your time.
5. All of her friends are guys. It's great she has a guy friend or 2, but when her friends are mostly guys, not good! Especially if she has dated any of them.
6. She plays hard to get ALL the time. I'm ok with a little bit of hard to get. I think it builds anticipation, but when it's one big roller coaster ride, move on!
7. She pays more attention to her phone than you. Even if she's really interested in you, get used to fighting a mobile device for attention if you stick around. Doesn't sound like fun to me!
8. She doesn't like kids or animals. I'm not saying she doesn't want kids or animals, I'm saying she doesn't LIKE them. This indicates that she's probably colder than Canada in January.
9. She won't leave you alone. Text messages every hour on the hour, phone calls that come in as restricted that never used to and the absolute worst; showing up at your place unannounced. She's obssessed and it's time to cut her loose.
10. She chews her food too loud. Actually this just my pet peeve.

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Discussion • Score: 9 • Views: 1,694 • Replies: 32

I hear you, but I can't help wondering about motes and beams?

2 Replies

@centrox,

10. Constantly complains about past dates.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

No complaints whatsoever. Those are called practical tips on how not to enter a disasterous relationship. You either learn or you don't.

Sounds like your #1 and only should be: Never learns from past experiences.

1 Reply

@James3270,

At least I know how to use the apostrophe.

1 Reply

@centrox,

Not sure where you're going with that. There's nothing self righteous about learning from experience and having value in yourself. I might be in a 5 year relationship with a woman that thinks I'm too assertive, or too insensitive, or too whatever. After the relationship ends, she evaluates herself and finds that there were some red flags she dismissed early on when dating me. Is it wrong for her to walk away and use the experience in the future to red flag prospective partners and pass on the experience she has learned over the years? Think about it.

Wrong use of a bible passage.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

Congratulations!

0 Replies

@James3270,

James3270 wrote:

I might be in a 5 year relationship with a woman

Pigs might fly.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

Sounds like you need more than what a forum can offer, or you're under 20 years old. Either way, I wish you well.

1 Reply

@James3270,

Have you been reading Oscar Wilde?

0 Replies

I think my main problems with James3270's "analysis" are that (1) it depends heavily on (self-favouring) hindsight - we can all see, looking back "red flags" (hat that phrase!) that we deem to have been waving, in various life situations such as jobs, intimate and family relationships etc. People are different. (2) it seems as if he sees women as rather like used cars - this one was a clunker, that one was a good runner (but it caught fire!), I should have noticed that grinding noise in 3rd gear, I'll never buy a Toyota again. I have been in loads of relationships myself, they were all (except the one I've been in since 1993) "disasters" if you want to use that term. Some large, some not so big.

1 Reply

@centrox,

Your post actually made me stop and think. I thank you for this.

Over analyzing and too sensitive to the opinions of others.

Damn it! I knew I missed a couple red flag's.

0 Replies

@James3270,

I'm with you on all of those as being red flags for men or women or whatever - except number 3.

Sometimes it is truly healthier for people not to deal with their families at all. I'm lucky in my relationship with my family but I see so many people doing better without their families.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Yeah, that's a good point. I'm sure there's a lot of cases where you're better off not associating with your family in order to maintain a healthy mind.

0 Replies

@James3270,

First and foremost, thank you James for the ready reckoner.

Unbridled 10. "chews her food too loud" (sic), is easily reined in using the solution to the more general problem of being glaringly garrulous with a strident "PLEASE CLOSE YOUR MOUTH FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE DAY" or a polite stfu.

I did enjoy the Sermon on the Mount reference and would add:

Matthew 5:29 is the twenty-ninth verse of the fifth chapter of the Gospel of Matthew in the New Testament and is part of the Sermon on the Mount. It is the third verse of the discussion of adultery. Jesus has just stated that looking at a woman in lust is equal to the act of adultery itself and in this verse he recommends gouging out one's eye to prevent sinning.

In the King James Version of the Bible the text reads:

And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out,
and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for
thee that one of thy members should perish, and
not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Any reference to

Quote:

dated a good majority of women.

is uncountable and should be fleshed out, unlike eg. an allusion to 49 disasters.

11. She refuses to use cuspidors, à la a latter day lady of the night.

2 Replies

@ekename,

Quote:

Jesus has just stated that looking at a woman in lust is equal to the act of adultery itself

I might as well commit adultery then.

0 Replies

@ekename,

ekename wrote:

Unbridled 10. "chews her food too loud" (sic), is easily reined in using the solution to the more general problem of being glaringly garrulous with a strident "PLEASE CLOSE YOUR MOUTH FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE DAY" or a polite stfu.

The better solution is to simply quit feeding her.

0 Replies

@James3270,

Quote:

34 year old man who has dated a good majority of women.

How many would that be approximately?

1 Reply

@ekename,

If we count every date since 18, (even the one's that were a one and done) I'd say over 50. That does NOT mean slept with, just to clarify.

1 Reply

James,

Could you dwindle down the list to about 3 REALLY important deal-breakers?

Mine are:
Married
Smoker
Less money than me

All these can't be fixed or gently coaxed into being non-important.
.

2 Replies

The giant red flags when dating a woman

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know