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What do I do about my crush?

 
 
Meep
 
Reply Sun 31 Dec, 2017 12:55 am
So, I've had this crush for like two years and I feel like I even love him. We were friends in 5th grade kind of and then after that, I moved to a different school. My crush suspected that I liked him and asked my friend and then he found out. I was in a group chat that had him in it and I didn't want to say it there so I emailed him and said that I knew he found out. He had a girlfriend at that time. So, he knows I like him, and he knows that I know that. About two months ago he broke up with his girlfriend but I'm not allowed to date or anything so I can't do anything about it. Plus, I can only communicate with him online, not in person. I'm frustrated because I'm always thinking about him and I want to talk to him(idk about what) but I don't know if he wants to, if my parents will be okay with it, and I don't want him to feel uncomfortable. I want to do SOMETHING about him so that I can stop obsessing over him so much but everything else is telling me not to. What do I do??????
Also, I'm not going to break the rules and be his "girlfriend." I don't even believe in that myself.
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sun 31 Dec, 2017 07:51 am
Are you able to have friends over? If so, ask a small group to your house and invite him. Then you will get to know him.

Too soon to speak of " love." You don't know him yet, really. Just start out as friends.
jespah
 
  5  
Reply Sun 31 Dec, 2017 09:33 am
@Meep,
If you don't know what to talk to someone about, then you don't love them.

You're right; you're obsessing. This sort of behavior is a way to ignore your real life and the friends - including boys - you could be spending time with and getting to know now, and in person.

It's called avoidance behavior.

We all do it, but recognize it for what it's worth. It's a fantasy escape from your day to day existence.

Start by spending time with your in-person friends more. Study together. Get sodas or coffee as appropriate. Head to the movies as a group, etc. Sometimes these groups will include boys. Sometimes they won't. But they are real, immediate, and in person.

I love online chatting as much as the next person, but in person is better. Try it.
Meep
 
  1  
Reply Sun 31 Dec, 2017 02:32 pm
@PUNKEY,
I can't invite him along with them. My parents probably wouldn't be okay with that. I'm not in the same school as him or anything.
Also, I do actually know him pretty well. In 5th grade, we talked a lot and like I said we were pretty much friends and then I moved to a different school in 6th grade but kept in contact with him on the group chat and now I'm in 7th grade.
0 Replies
 
Meep
 
  1  
Reply Sun 31 Dec, 2017 02:36 pm
@jespah,
I admit I probably don't love him. I just miss him a lot.
I'm only in 7th grade. I can't go to places by myself with my friends. I don't even have many friends, and the ones I do have can't do many things either.
Also, I currently don't have any good friends in the school I'm at right now.
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sun 31 Dec, 2017 02:58 pm
@Meep,
I understand. You can get involved in school activities, though, right? Drama Club, Intramurals, Chess Club, yearbook, something like that, right?

This will bring you into contact with more people and some of them might even turn out to be good friends or at least decent people to hang out with.
Meep
 
  2  
Reply Mon 15 Jan, 2018 09:31 pm
@jespah,
Listen, doing those things won't make me forget about him. He is truly special to me. I also do focus on life, and I am in clubs and stuff like that. It doesn't make a difference.
I say this with respect.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Tue 16 Jan, 2018 06:19 am
@Meep,
And I say this with experience. Dwelling on something makes you wallow in it. Making yourself busy takes away the 24/7 aspect of such wallowing.

Because you will stop thinking about him at some point, and it will make your life a helluva lot easier on that day if you have other things in your life that aren't the act of missing someone you never had.

Crushes don't last. That's the way of the world. And they feel special and powerful and important while they're happening. And when they're done, they are a part of your past.

Yes, going bowling doesn't heal your heart. But wallowing only opens the wounds deeper.

So be busy and you'll wallow less.
0 Replies
 
Alisa Hudson
 
  0  
Reply Thu 11 Oct, 2018 02:08 am
@PUNKEY,
Its very risky to propose a man you don't know. You can always start a conversation with him and gradually you will get to know him. Go out with him frequently and ask him questions about his interest, family, future goal, relationship goal, his favorite time pass activity and also tell him something interesting about yourself . Don't push things , go naturally and definitely you will get success. Best Wishes.
0 Replies
 
 

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