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Wed 6 Dec, 2017 01:15 pm
So a couple years ago me and my best friend fell out badly, mainly due to having new friends/boyfriends and also I later found out she was going through a rebel phase. For a few months we completely ignored each other then we eventually started talking again but only in class. Anyway last year we ended up going to the same college so we stuck together. We ended up becoming really good friends again. She will call me and our friends her 'second family' on Instagram and talks about how she enjoys this trio we have and how we are her best friends. But every so often I result into tears at night because something just doesn't feel right. I can't tell whether I'm overreacting or whether she's genuinely treating me unfairly.
The biggest thing I notice about the way she treats me is that I'm the last to know anything. Whether this is a problem she's dealing with or just plans for a shopping trip. She doesn't really laugh at my jokes but would if it was a different person. She often ignores me if someone new is around for her to chat to. A couple times she's even laughed and joked about how she rarely texts me compared to other people in her life. I want to be her best friend. I love our little group that we have but I can't help but feel like a third wheel sometimes! Am I overreacting or am I missing something? Do you think she ever really got over our fight? Do you think she's using me until we go to university?
@Rosalie47,
Talk to her if you're unsure. Of course that could push her away. Maybe just enjoy the fact that your friendship seems to be back on track and be happy for this.
This is causing you a lot of unneccesary pain.
But remember: Neither of you is the same person you were even a year ago. It's not fair to think you have an exclusive relationship with her. Time to have many close friends and let no one person define your happiness.
No need to be so sensitive sbout HER actions - or lack of them. No need to feel you are on this earth to please her.
It would be healthy for you to step back from her. If she is playing games with you, then don't set yourself up.
Good luck and try to lower your need for approval from her.
@Rosalie47,
I'm no expert in this, but I'd suggest not being friends with someone who puts you down intentionally. I'd talk to her about it first, but if she doesn't stop making you unhappy, I suggest ending the friendship. There's no reason to be friends wtih someone who makes you feel unhappy.
@Rosalie47,
Well it's hard to say anything, but If you are giving your 100%, but she is returning 50 % also, if you are being treated with an unkind way forget friendship because it is not acceptable.
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