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Being around my friend stresses me out...

 
 
Reply Wed 2 Mar, 2022 03:45 pm
... and it's not her fault.

Lately, hanging out eith myfriend, talking with her on the phone, or anything with her, has honestly just been stressing me out and I usually feel drained by the time I'm done. I feel bad cause it's not really her fault, and I don't know what to do.

Even just sitting with her during breakfast or lunch break at school often times will make me feel drained, and breakfast is literally only 15 minets long.

Honestly, it sounds weird, but she's just too... happy? Like she's always in a good mood and high energy and it's just hard for me to be around when I'm not feeling great lately. It's also often times hard for me to hear her talk about good things in her life cause it makes me jelouse, I know it shouldn't be it does, and lately I've just felt worse once we're done talking or hanging out.

She keeps asking to go somewhere after school and I honestly don't want to, but I don't know what to do cause like I said she did nothing wrong. She's really nice and supportive and she doesn't deserve to be ignored. But I just can't handle it right now.

What should I do? Plase help...
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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 1,058 • Replies: 10
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Mame
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Mar, 2022 04:15 pm
@Kayster ,
The only thing you really can do is explain what's going on with you so she a) can try to understand, and b) hopefully modify her behaviour, or c) leave you alone for a bit. Friends talk about what's going on and if she's unaware, or unaware of the extent of it, she'll be unable to help or respond appropriately.

I certainly wouldn't ask her to tone down her happiness or otherwise change who she is, but maybe you need some space. It also sounds like you need some one-on-one counselling, hon. You're not in a good place and that can be resolved, either by understanding what's going on and why, and learning what to do about it, and/or by changing your mindset.

I'm not a counsellor, but you don't sound happy and you deserve to be.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Mar, 2022 04:19 pm
I've got a confession: I like being around happy people.
0 Replies
 
Kayster
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Mar, 2022 04:26 pm
@Mame,
She knows a lot of the details of what's going on right now, but she doesn't know how I feel around her. I always fake laugh and smile and it's really draining to do, to pretend to be okay with the conversation then immedietly after just feel worse than I did before.

I have concidered couselling a little bit, but to be completely honest I don't really trust cousellors. I'm afraid there will be confieniality or legal issues if I say too much, cause I've heard a ton of horror stories. I know it'll probably be fine but I can't get over that fear...
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Mar, 2022 11:26 am
@Kayster ,
Counseling helps a lot, especially with your situation ( difficulty with parents and current social situation) . Trust of an outsider and confidentiality is understandable; however, you’re caught between a rock and a hard place. Not seeking help is a worse choice. I’d seek out a school counselor and speak to he/she about the absolute need for confidentiality.

Wishing you the best. Let us know how it turns out. Because of these two situations you mention (parents and this friend) you need this sort of help. It can make more of a difference than writing online to strangers who are not counselors.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Mar, 2022 02:23 pm
@Ragman,
Agreed ...myself as many people on here have suggested the same thing...it is now up to you whether you keep getting worse by not doing anything or seek help.

At this point if things are really that bad what do you have to lose?
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Mar, 2022 03:36 pm
"Doctor, Doctor! It hurts every time I do this!"
"Then don't do that!"

Badda bing.

Being divorced means you go on.
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Sat 5 Mar, 2022 04:53 pm
@Kayster ,
You could start on a topic that won't have confidential or legal issues, such as how you feel about being around your friend. About how drained you are. You don't have to mention anything about your parents. Stress is extremely unhealthy... you could become physically ill, you know.

It's important for you to know that YOU are the only one who can do anything about this. You ARE allowed to see a counsellor at school.

Take charge of your life as much as you can. You have a mouth and a backbone - use them.
0 Replies
 
Kayster
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Mar, 2022 01:11 am
@Ragman,
Okay, thank you for the advice. I'll see about a coucilor
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Mar, 2022 01:34 pm
@bobsal u1553115,
bobsal u1553115 wrote:

Being divorced means you go on.

? This is single ha student. Divorce?
0 Replies
 
PoliteMight
 
  -3  
Reply Fri 10 Jun, 2022 10:27 pm
@Kayster ,
If this person is truly your friend tell them how you feel and I am sure they will be understanding. Sometimes people need space.
0 Replies
 
 

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