I haven't held my boyfriend's hand or kissed him...

Forums: Dating, Advice, Relationship
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Hi all,
I just joined this site and I have a problem... I've been 'dating' my boyfriend for a little over a month now but still do not feel the need to hold his hand or kiss him or really get more physical with him at all. I don't feel the need to do romantic things with him even though he seems to get excited about it and this makes me feel bad that I don't feel the same. I think it's because I see him in a more platonic light, but how do I get out of that then? Do I feel this way because I haven't really touched him or kissed him yet, or should that desire surface on its own?

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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 789 • Replies: 10

If you don't get the flutters around him then stop referring to him as your BF.

He's just a friend.

Make it very clear to him so you don't waste his time. (And yours)

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@Secluded Lake,

what do you mean by 'dating' ?

why do you call him your boyfriend?

how did you happen to get into a romantic relationship with someone you don't feel romantic about?

1 Reply

@Secluded Lake,

a) He's not your boyfriend. Don't call him that. He's a guy who wants to kiss you, etc. and you don't want that. If he is bothering you, then tell him to cut it out. Don't couch it in dating terms.
b) You may be asexual. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

But either way, why are you hanging around with someone who you are incompatible with? Be kind and tell him he has no prospects.

1 Reply

@jespah,

Don't get me wrong, he wasn't making any advances on me really but it was his idea to ask me out. I just said yes because I didn't see any harm in trying (he's actually a very sweet guy) but the longer it went on the more I thought maybe I was wrong about my decision... We get along pretty well though so I just feel like there's something wrong with me...

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

I guess I mean dating as going out to dinner or giving each other little gifts and being in a sort of 'exclusive relationship' like that....since he technically asked me out I don't know what else to call him other than 'boyfriend'. And like I told jespah he asked me out and I said yes because I didn't see the harm in it. He's really nice and we get along so I kinda thought 'why not'?

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Sounds like a friend rather than a boyfriend.

Maybe cut back on exchanging little gifts and it will be clearer that it's a friend/friend situation not a dating relationship.

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@Secluded Lake,

Secluded Lake wrote:

.since he technically asked me out I don't know what else to call him other than 'boyfriend'.

friend

you call him a friend

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@Secluded Lake,

Secluded Lake wrote:

since he technically asked me out I don't know what else to call him other than 'boyfriend'.

No no no! He is your "boyfriend", and you are his "girlfriend" when you BOTH decide that. And you stop when EITHER of you decide. You need to know this.

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@Secluded Lake,

Secluded Lake wrote:

We get along pretty well though so I just feel like there's something wrong with me...

Why? Do you think you’re supposed to feel a certain way about every single person you go on a date with? Now that would be very odd.

He’s not your type romantically.

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Quote:

Do I feel this way because I haven't really touched him or kissed him yet, or should that desire surface on its own?

Good question. You could find out by trying it. Touching could prove evocative.

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I haven't held my boyfriend's hand or kissed him...

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