Me Too

Hard to blame them. Men ARE a threat to them. They're a threat to each other as well, but less so, as (like all predators) easy prey are the first ones attacked, and physical and cultural differences make most men much, much harder prey.

Cycloptichorn

Are you trying to provoke me now with this bullshit? Edgar claims that this is a place for survivors to share their stories. What is has become is a bunch of men bragging about how enlightened they are.

Are you serious? I'd have to care about you, to care about provoking you. There's nothing in it for me to do so and I could care less about your reaction to whatever I post.

If you have something meaningful to add, feel free to do so, but enough with trying to make this thread about you. You and your personal experience are not the subject of the thread and you have already declared it 'not a safe space' because people said things that hurt your feelings and you're apparently unable to move past that.

Like I said earlier, this **** is tiresome

Cycloptichorn

I am raising a pre-teen daughter (a thought that I am sure will horrify many here... and Izzy go ahead and say it).

There is no way in hell I am going to teach my daughter to fear men. She already rides the train in the city by herself. I want her to be confident and unafraid. Statistically there is very little danger from strangers. Most rapes are from family members, acquaintances or dates. (And yes, she does need to be careful in these situations).

Given my past, I was very careful with family members. The worst part of sexual abuse is that the victims are coerced into silence... telling children that they can and should tell if very important. Of course there is date rape, that she needs to be aware of. I tell her the facts. I teach her that relationships should be equal, respectful and consensual. I tell her to be careful about drinking.

But I do not tell her that she needs to be afraid of men in public, or that she needs to be constantly in fear. It just isn't true.

She is safe, and she can live confidently in her world. To tell her she is always in danger would be illogical and cruel.

You are welcome to put me on ignore Cyclo. Please do.

It occurs to me that some may assume I signaled him in some sexy way. No, when we talked about art it was an ordinary conversation.

I assume the lugnut is dead by now.

I never put anyone on ignore, ever. Instead, I think I'll just continue to point out when you lie, or make an argument that is insupportable, or engage in tiresome behavior.

I'll do that because the posts I write aren't for you - they're for the reader of this thread. If I simply ignore you, you write some stupid bullshit and nobody ever calls you out on it and the potential reader erroneously thinks what you wrote is true, or logical. Can't have that.

Don't worry, you're in good company. Not the first person who got pissy when someone started calling out their lies and drama publicly and you won't be the last.

Cycloptichorn

This being the a2k Me Too thread, I was hoping to attract more responses from others. It's not necessary to recount events if one is uncomfortable about it. A simple Me Too will do.

I'm still in lesser hell (getting by) re posting, and glad to be able to respond, if not click up.
I'm not shocked, I'm a kid from early Hollywood, an early reader of the rags, but have in recent years not paid much attention to the place.
Watch out for all the snails.

Re the rape, I can imagine people taking my talking with him about art was a lovely come on. No.

This is either a thread where people can share their personal experience, or a thread to advance an ideological narrative about how bad men are. It can't be both.

You and Edgar have spent more time insulting than listening. I don't think this thread was ever meant to be about sharing personal experiences.

I'm not sure what you would have to do to prove you were not asking for it. Exchanging hello's, being the last one to leave the office, wearing red lipstick are not the reasons women are assaulted.....It happens for the same reason people steal, offenders believe they won't get caught.

My first husband would often tell me how my dearest friends would come on to him.........the truth was, that was his distraction strategy because he didn't want me to know he was saying lewd things to my friends. Little by little we were excluded, my old friends didn't want to tell me how offensive he was....Im not sure what I would have done anyhow, who do you believe, your husband or your friends. It's hard for me to believe that I was so trusting.

Some of the older members may remember the few stories I shared about the 4 terrible years I was married to my first husband. I won't bore everyone with the details, the only lesson I can pass along is that 'people' who are abused by spouses are seldom eager to share those stories. The same thing happens when you are abused by a boss, a co-worker, a neighborhood kid's grandfather when you were 10......its a terrible thing....it's painful, it shames you and makes you wonder what you did so wrong to deserve such abuse.

So if Max was abused I understand his reticence, however if Max was abused why does he always ridicule or deny the pain of others when they share stories? This is a rhetorical question, victims of abuse know why Max is so angry.

Oh, and ditto what Osso told you and your scooter.

My niece also rode the busses across the city at an early age (don't get me started), but she was good at it. Her dad was a good teacher, re city or country.

I donno what her father told her about men. She came to me, visiting me for weeks over years. I certainly don't hate men, don't get me started, but I am aware there are awful ones. We talked about that, and her dad approved.

Please, Max, let your daughter be aware of danger.

Please Glitterbag.... I have never ridiculed or denied the pain of anyone who has shared their story. Don't make things up. This is something that I would not do. I make a conscious effort to be supportive of survivors. I always have.

No I’m not making anything up, you are the biggest invalidator of others assault stories, with the possible exception of oralboy.

Every time a subject comes up that involves attacks on women, you try to negate these horrible experiences by vague and occasional brutal refutations that women are as terrible as men. No one argues that point, but surely you have to know how painful it could be to be an 8 year old girl molested by a friend’s grandfather? I’ve never been a little boy, but I’ve raised boys.....and I’ve tried to keep them safe by warning them of dangerous situations. I want them to thrive and survive. I’m horrified that you would tell an adolescent that she has nothing to fear........that’s more irresponsible than anything I could imagine. Do you even give a good god damn if she’s safe? My dad taught me about danger because he loved me and my younger brother.

Please don’t try to fall back on some sad narrative that ‘suggests’ you were harmed beyond repair by a brutal women. It might have happened, but it should have made you so much more sympathetic to other victims. And yet again, you don’t feel any sympathy, because your pain is so much more awful than others.

I’m not asking for your story, find a way to deal with it. At this point you have zero credibility with me, and I’m speaking as a women who has been raped, assaulted and molested. Have you ever heard me slam men? You haven’t unless it’s been in your fevered imagination. I know many men I would trust with my life and safety, but I’ve also met men I wouldn’t trust in a room with knotty pine paneling. You say you’ve been terrorized by a women, it’s very possible, it happens, those women should be locked up. But that doesn’t negate the terrible things that have happened to girls or women. It’s equal in its criminality, but it doesn’t mean females have no right to talk about their experiences. By the way, you haven’t wondered why we haven’t included cervical or prostate cancer as a problem? One thing at a time, you Prima Donna, one thing at a time. There are many things that need to be fixed...............you do understand that?

I think you're an inspiration, always positive despite adversity and setbacks.

There was a programme on the telly last night about when game shows go wrong, showing lots of bloopers and weird contestants. One segment was on a programme called Queen for a Day in which a group of vulnerable women each told tales of misery, the audience decided which one was the most miserable, and therefore most deserving of their sympathy and the prizes. I don't know what happened to the losers, maybe they had to try harder to make their lives even more miserable. It was terrible exploitative television.

This thread is not Queen for a Day. It's not a competition to find out who has had the most miserable of experiences and is therefore more deserving of the collective sympathy of A2K, it's supposed to be somewhere people can share experience and support each other.

Perhaps if we all chipped in and bought Max a tiara he might stop his incessant moaning.

Glitterbag, you may not accept this. I am an actual human being. You seem to see me as a troll to be whacked.

I have never once slammed women. Nor have I attacked anyone who has shared a story here (quite the contrary). I have criticized what I see as an ideological narrative that is partisan and not fact based, and that is what you are upset about... I am questioning your ideological narrative.

Please. You are making these accusations. They are lies. Provide me with a link where I have ever done this. Izzy once admitted to eating one of his own children. And you admitted to sending guns to Isis terrorists. We all can play this game. Provide a link.

You are using sexual assault to score partisan points.

You may not accept this, but you actually have done the things Glitterbag says. I remember you saying such things to women who were abused, and I'm probably not alone. GB does not need to waste her time ploughing through old threads only for you to say that you've been misinterpreted. You've done this so many times now it's way beyond stale and hackneyed.

You can change, instead of just being a human being you could actually start behaving like one. Here's an idea, stop belittling women, stop trying to make everything about yourself. A little bit of honesty wouldn't go amiss either.

You've already started your own self pitying thread about how 'Me too' is not about you. If you are a victim of abuse then that's a lie. You don't want 'Me too' to be about you, you want it to be exclusively about you.

So why not go back to your thread and leave this one alone?

This thread is using sexual assault to score political points and settle personal scores. It is a upsetting, but that is what is happening.

A responsible discussion on sexual assault would be inclusive. Sexual assault should not be a political card to play. Victims of assault are real people, we don't all fit into a single belief system, set of experiences or world view.

Let's look at what happened here.

- Edgar started the thread (which wasn't bad although it was labeled "woman's rights").
- Contrex wrote a post that clearly excluded male victims and female perpetrators.
- I wrote a response saying that male victims and female perpetrators shouldn't be excluded.

At this point, in a responsible discussion there could have been a dialog. I believe that I have a valid point of view, and that my experience is worthy of respect. I didn't attack anyone, I did say that what Contrex wrote was upsetting... but it was.

But that is not what happened. What happened is a string of insults from people with an ideological purpose. They use insults, dismissals and lies... with no backing in evidence.

This thread is about using sexual assault for a political purpose. They are making no attempt to be inclusive, or to accept different points of view or respect the experience of others.

The claim that I have ever attacked or demeaned anyone's experience is a nasty lie. It is one of the worst lies that they can tell (and any time they are challenged to find a single post where I have done this, they weasel out). They are saying this, and repeating it, because they know it will hurt me. It is the opposite of what I stand for.

They don't want anyone here who doesn't fit into their narrow view of what a sexual abuse survivor should be. That is why they are being so nasty.

We are human beings, and human beings don't fit into the narrow little boxes that you want to put us in.

You guys see this as another opportunity to push a narrow ideological narrative and to punish anyone who questions or expresses a "wrong" opinion. People, like every other thread, are still here to attack, dismiss, discredit and demean anyone who steps out of line.

In political threads, where you expect things to be rough, this is acceptable. In a thread about sexual assault, I would hope things could be different. In this thread I have been called "dumb ass". I was told that I could "tolerate it up the ass". People have made up stories about me with no evidence (that could be easily confirmed if they were true... but they aren't). What you have is the same group of people defending an ideology at all costs, forgetting that real people are involved.

Yes, in this thread, I am angry.