Me Too

@edgarblythe,

If anyone senses that I am upset, yes I am upset. This is an issue I take personally. It is wrong to politicize sexual assault... and that is what this thread is doing.

If this was really a thread to share different points of view, then different experiences and points of view would be accepted... without these personal attacks. What is happening is that this thread is designed to represent a narrow, political, view. Any story or opinion that doesn't fit the narrative gets attacked.

What is happening here is also happening in the larger world. It is painful for some of us.

0 Replies

@edgarblythe,

Yeah.
Me, with different than Centrox's situation, not at eight but, let's say, I was pushing eleven or twelve when my mother ordered the Ligorian Magazine. There were mostly lessons of how to avoid going to hell. I say this with circumspection and some sorrow, not trying to make fun of my parents, all that long ago. Now I'm pushing 76. My life has had lots of learning experiences.

Ohhhhhh, to talk with them again.

1 Reply

@ossobucotemp,

You too Osso? I was kind of hoping that you would be understanding.

2 Replies

@maxdancona,

Christ, you're tiresome

Nobody told you your experiences didn't matter, but you started right up whining about how someone used language you didn't like and you felt marginalized or some bullshit by it. Seriously, if you want to talk about your experiences, just do so instead of crying about someone saying something you don't like. You didn't even try to tell your story before you started complaining.

Cycloptichorn

0 Replies

@maxdancona,

I rarely read you anymore. So angry, so above all us stupid folks.

Can you summarize what I should be agreeing with you about?

1 Reply

Quote:

I didn't attack Centrox, I only pointed out how I felt his comment was insensitive.

Who cares how you felt about their comment? Literally nobody, man. Stop being so sensitive and get on with things, because this whining is childish and a waste of time

If you feel strongly about sharing your story, do so instead of complaining about how someone else's words hurt your fee-fees

Cycloptichorn

0 Replies

@ossobucotemp,

I am not usually angry Osso. Most of my interaction here is challenging what I see as an ideological bubble. I push back, but I am not really angry... having discussions with people with whom I disagree is the best part of this site.

But this particular issue is awfully personal. I didn't start insulting anyone. I merely pointed out that this is a personal issue and that not all of us fit into the popular script of survivor. I might not have engaged on this thread (at least not in the same way) had Centrox not specifically excluded male survivors. Cyclo is mocking me... but yes, my feelings are being hurt.

I think I have discussed this with you before. I am also a survivor of sexual assault. I would never dismiss your story, and I think I have always been understanding with what you have shared. I would like you to try to understand where I am coming from and why this thread upsets me.

I am curious about whether the "#MeToo" hashtag is helpful to you. I will accept if you tell me that it is. For me (and many other male survivors) the #MeToo tag excludes us and invalidates our stories. Maybe you don't feel the Edgar is politicizing the issue... I do.

2 Replies

@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

had Centrox not specifically excluded male survivors.

I have struggled to hold back from feeding your attention-troll-addiction/vanity/monomania, since I feel that would be just "feeding" you, as the meme has it, but, I have to ask, where did I do this? I am a male survivor myself. I told my tale. Where did I ever exclude males?

2 Replies

@centrox,

Why are the personal attacks necessary Centrox? I would be happy to have a respectful discussion with you about this topic that is personal to me. But, not while you insist on the personal attacks.

I did not know you are a survivor. Have you gotten therapy? Have you read Mike Lew's excellent book on the topic? Are you part of a male survivor support group now?

If you are dealing with this, surely you understand that there are many of us male survivors who are working through these feelings.

1 Reply

@maxdancona,

Your behavior is what drives what you call 'personal attacks.' Here, let me show you.

This is the post Centrox wrote, second one in the thread, that you replied to:

Quote:

The problem lies overwhelmingly with men forcing their sexual attentions on other men, boys and (mostly) women. A man exposed himself to me in a railway station toilet when I was 12. I was so naive I didn't even realise what was happening. I was peeing at a urinal and this man aged about 50 went to the next urinal along and said "I bet you never saw one like this", and of course I looked. He didn't do anything else and I had a thought that it was probably best to leave the toilet at that point (I could hear my train pulling in). I thought afterwards that the poor man must have had something wrong with his penis, it looked so ugly and swollen. I also was under the impression that it was only girls who needed to watch out for bad men. I told the tale 10 years later as an adult to friends who said "you were molested". I guess my innocence protected me from any mental harm.

You responded with a criticism of the first line, which apparently made you angry enough to... not even read the rest of the post. At all. I say that with confidence because you now seem confused about what Centrox wrote in the first place, saying:

Quote:

I did not know you are a survivor.

Dude you were so ready to be pissed that you didn't even bother to read what he wrote.

So when people tell you to maybe calm down a bit and focus on expressing yourself rather than criticizing the word choices of others, perhaps you should, I dunno, take their advice

Cycloptichorn

1 Reply

@maxdancona,

I do read you as often angry, and that is why I skip a lot, related to yes, whining about women. I suppose it is a matter of tone, and know it all ness.

Getting into ridiculousness, I've no interest in your accusations that all the rest of us are ideologial bubble figures. **** you and your scooter.

I remember what you went through, and defiinitely understand. I will agree that sexual assault against males is generally overlooked in newpapers, magazines, tv? though I personally have less and less access with my computer horribleness. Still, I do have A2k.

Hash tag? Means nada to me. I still don't know the point of it (I read fast).

Any long timer here knows I plain old love Eb. We disagree off and on, over years.
On this matter, I can only say, are you kidding?
I just now saw this:
the #MeToo tag excludes us and invalidates our stories. Maybe you don't feel the Edgar is politicizing the issue... I do.

I have no clue what your gripe is about, but then, I haven't read all about it. I don't remember reading, if I did, what ever EdgarB said.

I will agree that in my reading over years women reap the news articles more than male victims. I'm no sociologist, but I figure this has been studied. If not, why not?

2 Replies

@centrox,

When someone has a history of attention seeking and dishonesty it's hard to take anything they say seriously. Max lies. He may or may not be lying now, but to be honest I'm not really bothered. I'd just like to see the thread get back on topic.

Quote:

A writer in India has responded to the #MeToo movement with an admission of his own impropriety towards a woman.
Using the hashtag #IDidThat, Devang Pathak in Mumbai posted: "It wasn't easy to write but here it is. I am sorry and I will do better. #IDidThat".
Devang said he decided to make the public admission after seeing a plea on social media by Rega Jha, the editor of Buzzfeed in India, early on Tuesday morning in which she tweeted:
"I'd love to see a counter trend of men posting 'I'm sorry and I'll do better' if they feel they've ever made a woman uncomfortable, unheard or unsafe. This one's on you, dudes, and yet I still see all the mobilisation and conversational labour being held by woman."
"This has been playing on my mind since the Harvey Weinstein story surfaced as well as the domestic revelations and conversations in India," Devang told the BBC.
"I saw the me too conversation and saw Rega's comment on my timeline. I hope more men share their stories."
The #MeToo movement, which began on social media after a call to action by actress Alyssa Milano on Sunday evening, generated more than 1.3 million tweets by Wednesday morning and hundreds of thousands of posts across Facebook and Instagram, as women and men across the world continue to share stories of the sexual harassment and abuse they've faced.
Similarly #YesAllWomen was tweeted more than a million times following the killing of six people in May 2014, and continues to be used. Both it and the #EverydaySexism campaign have seen spikes in use on social media since Sunday.
Among the responses, there was criticism emerging about why women should feel compelled to share their stories of abuse in order to highlight the magnitude of sexual misconduct.
In the US, Vox writer Liz Plank suggested there should be a shift of the burden from women to men taking accountability for their actions.
Her posts on both Facebook and Twitter ended with the hashtag #HimThough generating 8,000 mentions as the discussion shifts from abuse victims to perpetrators.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-41663380

1 Reply

@Cycloptichorn,

Really Cyclo. This is a real issue... not a matter of winning the argument. I will let Centrox speak for himself. He writes "my innocence protected me from emotional harm". I guess I am happy about that.

0 Replies

@ossobucotemp,

Quote:

**** you and your scooter.

Thanks Osso. The title of this thread is ironic.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

Whew, I get where this guy is coming from but that's a baaaad idea for guys to be doing.

Cycloptichorn

0 Replies

@ossobucotemp,

I am sorry Osso. I have clearly misjudged you.

I will not do that again.

0 Replies

@maxdancona,

I'm not a survivor of rape, but I do understand anger and hurt. Please, Max, just tell us your story; or we won't ever know what happened to you. Sad

2 Replies

@wmwcjr,

Thank you Wmw.

I did a little on my other thread, and I feel a little more comfortable there than here. I am not sure how open I am willing to be, even anonymously. It happened over several years... and it took me decades to come to grips with what happened. There are good support systems for male survivors and I already mentioned the Mike Lew Book that is the first thing that many therapists will give you.

This thread is not really a safe place to share.

0 Replies

@wmwcjr,

I think he started a separate thread for that.

0 Replies

Sometimes I see women take defensive measures when I am around. I feel somewhat wounded that they see me as a potential threat. On the other hand, they likely are that way as a matter of course, when other men are in similar circumstances. One example: I went into a grocery store and decided to sit in the truck a few minutes and eat something, to avoid eating and making a mess while driving. I caught a glimpse of a woman leaving the store. I continued to eat the stuff and paid her no mind. After a bit it occurred to me that I had heard her door shut, but nobody drove away. I looked down the line and saw she was sitting patiently, apparently waiting for me to go first. I immediately left. I hate it that some live in such fear. But it could save their lives one day.

1 Reply

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know