Me Too

the question is whether women want this change.

So... just because more women will become sexually assertive after Me Too doesn't mean all of them will

Please stop asking why women don’t come forward. These women did. They believed that once the police, the FBI, the White House, and John Kelly knew what they knew, Porter would stop ascending in their ranks. They were wrong.

Rob Porter’s father wrote eloquently about the presidency and “a tone from the top.” The tone from the top of the Trump administration has unerringly been that women are to be cherished and protected right up until the moment they stop being docile and decorative, and then they are to be dismissed and humiliated. Rob Porter’s defenders knew everything they needed to know. They did nothing because he was visible to them and his accusers were nothing. But the tone comes from the top, and nobody should be even a bit surprised.

And then, as their mutual ex-husband was being cleared for his job in the White House last spring, both women told the FBI. They actually thought, at that point, somebody might care.


Please stop saying that women don’t tell. These women told. They told the stories of likely the most intimate and traumatic moments of their lives to family and church elders and friends and counselors and FBI officers, and they saw the following happen: Porter was not given full clearance. He was, however, given an interim security clearance. Senior staff in the White House knew why his clearance was snagged by the fall. According to Politico, John Kelly, Donald Trump’s chief of staff and Porter’s boss, also knew of the 2010 protective order against Porter. Don McGahn, the White House counsel, also knew, according to Politico, because in recent weeks a third woman, an ex-girlfriend of Porter’s who also works in the Trump administration, told him that Porter had abused her and his two ex-wives.

But right up until 9:31 p.m. Eastern on Wednesday night, John Kelly was standing by Rob Porter. Even when others had distanced themselves, John Kelly reiterated his opinion that Porter had true integrity and honor.

Sen. Orrin Hatch (R–Utah), for whom Porter had previously served as chief of staff, initially told the Daily Mail the allegations against Porter came from lying “character assassins.” His full comment:

It’s incredibly discouraging to see such a vile attack on such a decent man. Shame on any publication that would print this—and shame on the politically motivated, morally bankrupt character assassins that would attempt to sully a man’s good name.

Hatch changed his statement on Wednesday, after learning the actual details leveled by the actual victims. His new statement read:

I am heartbroken by today’s allegations. In every interaction I’ve had with Rob, he has been courteous, professional, and respectful. My staff loved him and he was a trusted advisor. I do not know the details of Rob’s personal life. Domestic violence in any form is abhorrent. I am praying for Rob and those involved.


Apparently “I didn’t see it with my own eyes in the workplace,” is the new “thoughts and prayers.” Note that the central moral issue was no longer the scurrilous women who must have lied to a slanderous press, but Hatch’s own heartbreak. He didn’t apologize to the women he had maligned hours earlier, and it’s not entirely clear if they are part of the group of people for whom Hatch is praying.

John Kelly again evinced no concern for or even interest in these women in his statement Wednesday night:

I was shocked by the new allegations released today against Rob Porter. There is no place for domestic violence in our society. I stand by my previous comments of the Rob Porter that I have come to know since becoming Chief of Staff, and believe every individual deserves the right to defend their reputation. I accepted his resignation earlier today, and will ensure a swift and orderly transition.

It is not clear what the “new allegations” were, since there was nothing he knew at 9:31 p.m. Wednesday he hadn’t known earlier that day, save, perhaps, for the fact that there was a photo. The man we’ve all been feting as the “adult in the room” turns out to be just as adept at disappearing victims of domestic abuse as all the other adults, namely those in the FBI and the Mormon church, who had also known of the allegations against Porter and done nothing.

Today, in response to a question about whether he believes the women claiming Porter abused them, Sen. Hatch said, “I don’t believe them all but I think there’s enough there that you have to take it very seriously.”

Please stop asking why women don’t come forward. These women did.
This questions of “enough” was coincidentally also the subject of a powerful piece from Catharine MacKinnon in the New York Times last Sunday, about why the #MeToo movement is accomplishing what decades of formal legal reforms could not achieve. MacKinnon wrote that “it typically took three to four women testifying that they had been violated by the same man in the same way to even begin to make a dent in his denial. That made a woman, for credibility purposes, one-fourth of a person.” To Republican leadership, Colbie Holderness and Jennifer Willoughby and the third, as-yet-unnamed victim of Rob Porter still seem to amount to maybe 75 percent of a person. Maybe the photo of the actual black eye is the other 25 percent.

The stories underscore how “sexual harassment is not OK, period — regardless of whether it’s by a man, or a woman. And frankly, this threatens to set the movement back — because when you have one of the faces of this movement facing these allegations, that’s a real problem.” [...]

Quote:

Feminists represent a minority of women. It is not reasonable for them to dictate the way that all men and women will act.

Sharing the responsibility of sexual initiation with women is in men's best interest, because it will force women to realize how hard it is to propose or ask for sexual intimacy without offending anyone and making any faux pas ever... Trying to court us will hopefully teach women a degree of humility and forgiveness for our own weaknesses in courtship.

I have a similar experience to yours. I'm shy and have only very rarely proposed to the women i was attracted to. But thankfully, some women let me know that they were attracted by me.

I agree that it currently looks more like a big brouhaha or shouting match

really? I'm not getting the shouting match vibe from you , Centrox, izzy, engineer

really? I'm not getting the shouting match vibe from you , Centrox, izzy, engineer

Not too long a go a woman put her hand on my thigh on a second date. I took that as an invitation that I should initiate, and I did, and things were great. 

She initiated by put her hand on your thigh. You responded positively to her advances, and things were great.