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Do i own up and be honest? Cheated on my GF

 
 
Reply Thu 12 Oct, 2017 08:53 am
Dear all,
Thanks for reading. I have been with my current partner for 6 months now and very much in love and our relationship is very good and healthy

I have an ex who i have children with and who i still have a amicable relationship with and i see twice a week when seeing my kids. Approximately a month ago i ended up staying later than planned and we got chatting and one thing led to another and we ended up doing things that most people would class as cheating. No sex etc however. It was her who instigated this but i am not naive enough to know i could have stopped it. This has also happened a couple of times since as well.
I feel incredibly guilty afterwards and always say to myself that i wont let it happen again and i need to be stronger.

Me and my ex had a row recently and she decide to tell my current partner what had happened. My ex and currently GF do not get on due to other issues that have occured. My GF confronted me and i denied it all and she believed me.
I feel incredibly guilty about all of this and part of me wants to own up but i know by doing so i will lose my current GF who i intend on being with for a long time. I am also worried that if i carry on with my GF my ex will eventually prove to her that i was lying and i will lose my GF that way also.

I am at the point now where i am seriously considering breaking up with my GF because i cant see any good coming from this at all....i would rather her set her free and me lose out rather than her find out and hate me for my actions

HELP NEEDED PLEASE!!
 
jespah
 
  5  
Reply Thu 12 Oct, 2017 09:33 am
@helphelphelp123,
Yep, you screwed up, royally.

It was one thing to I assume kiss another woman and maybe more.

It was another thing to out and out lie when you were confronted about this. It also didn't help that this happened more than once. You've used up your 'Get out of Jail Free' cards here.

I think you're right, that anything in this situation will screw up your relationship with your girlfriend, so why not be an adult about it and let her go?

And then consider, perhaps, counseling, to figure out why you would put yourself into such a situation. Your ex has you by the short hairs and you allowed that to happen. Frankly, you don't sound over her. If you're not, then you owe it to your girlfriend to give her the chance to find someone who's not hung up on someone else.

And also consider what it means when your ex does this. If it happens again, she will do it again. You've allowed yourself to become a victim. Try not to put yourself into that kind of a bind again.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Fri 13 Oct, 2017 01:52 pm
Your ex knows how to push your buttons - and I bet she enjoys having this over your head.

You know you were made a fool of, don't you?

That's what you should tell your GF (before the ex does again, just to rub it in)

Then beg for mercy and avoid being alone with the ex at any cost.

You may or may not be over your ex. It was familiar and you apparently have a loose dick. If you really loved your GF, you would have been able to brush the ex off and not have allowed yourself to be tempted.

Was there drinking involved? You should look at that, too.
0 Replies
 
bigmike43
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Oct, 2017 12:34 am
@helphelphelp123,
Ok dude you have no choise she ex will tell on you as soon as it is to her benefit tell her I promis its better to come from you becuase she will find out. either way you get you ex off you back
0 Replies
 
helphelphelp123
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Oct, 2017 04:03 am
@helphelphelp123,
Thanks for the replies, they do all make sense.

Yes i agree i mucked up big time, my ex knows how to push my buttons and probably obviously did it to either use it against me or to have an advantage or hold over me and potentially throw it in my partners face.

I am half tempted now to tell her, admit it be a man and obviously i know i will lose her, be hated by her and various other people as well.
or i could split with her, let her go and potentially still have a friendship with her as hard as it would be to not have her as my partner
or hope and prey that i can blag this not coming out in the future but i have a feeling it will...

What would you guys do?
bigmike43
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Oct, 2017 04:21 am
@helphelphelp123,
not sure you will lose he its not like you are married just tell her
0 Replies
 
helphelphelp123
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Oct, 2017 04:45 am
@helphelphelp123,
i think i will, she has unfortunately warned me if i cheat she will leave and probably chop my dick off and make my life hell

You no how women can be!
bigmike43
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Oct, 2017 05:02 am
@helphelphelp123,
yes i do sort of but i have to ask I got the jist you 2 had oral sex if im write its yes then thats cheating if you kissed forget about it
bigmike43
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Oct, 2017 05:04 am
@bigmike43,
so when you tell her hide the knives but the truth is always better then the lie .
bigmike43
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Oct, 2017 05:05 am
@bigmike43,
i would like your opinion on did she cheat or not? plz
0 Replies
 
helphelphelp123
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Oct, 2017 05:29 am
@helphelphelp123,
it wasn't oral, we kissed once, but we kind of had a fumble and crossed lines with touching but nothing as bad as oral at all.

Thanks for replies by the way
bigmike43
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Oct, 2017 08:53 am
@helphelphelp123,
you did nothing cunfess to the kiss your bond will survive if it strong
helphelphelp123
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 Oct, 2017 09:14 am
@bigmike43,
i hope so, the main problem as well might be the fact i have lied up until now which isnt going to help my case at all.
0 Replies
 
anonymus999
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Oct, 2017 10:54 pm
Tell the truth. It will all come uncovered sometime and the only chance you have of saving your relationship or being friends with her is if you tell her yourself. She will ask again, it will come up, be on her mind, etc. Women are smarter than you think...
0 Replies
 
 

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