Sat 7 Oct, 2017 01:08 pm
I have recently moved to university, and live about an hour and a half away from my parents and boyfriend. Recently things have been a bit rocky between me and my boyfriend, but we have both put that down to the sudden change and the increased distance.
My boyfriend was just on video call with me, and complained at me for seeming not to care when I can't see him. It costs me about £40 to travel home and back, and since I am living in halls of residence it seems expensive to keep travelling back all the time. He then said about paying for me to travel down to see him, and since I don't like using peoples money I said no I will find my own money to travel when I can. My boyfriend then started complaining at me and saying that if I use my own money then I will want to spend time with my parents and brother. I said that yes I would like to see my parents and brother because this is the first time I have been living away from home and we are a close family. He seemed to then complain by saying that if he paid for me then I would have to stay at his and wouldn't be able to see my parents. But I explained that when I am at my parents house he can still stay and see me and spend time with my family. However, he just kept seeming to complain saying that it is not the same. As well as that the relationship between a boyfriend and parent isn't the same, and that you have to work on relationships but will always have a parent and child bond. This all made me feel like he was saying that my parents shouldn't matter to me as much as they do.
Is it wrong that I want to spend time with my parents?
I don't think you are going to enjoy a relationship with someone so self centered. Just my opinion.
An hour and a half is not much of a travel distance - why doesn't your boyfriend travel to visit you for an afternoon or evening? seriously. An hour and a half is a regular commute here.
Your travel plans/decisions/plans are up to you. If he's going to be fussy about it, you may want to consider what he's going to be like over time. I think Roger is right to suggest that the guy might not have long-term potential.
Distance is relative. An hour and a half is a LONG ways here. I've never lived more than 10 minutes from work and would probably draw the line at 20-30 minutes.
To the OP though, find another guy, one that is closer that you can actually hang out with on a regular basis.
NO, it is not wrong for you to want to see your parents.
What IS wrong is a significant other that is so self centered that they demand you spend all of your time with only them.