Wits End Seriously Thinking of NSA Sex

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I'm 36, hubby 49. Together 8 years. I've always had a high sex drive and at first he was able to keep up but soon things started to wane. I was able to cope with short rations but 4 years ago he had a slight stroke and a year later was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Since then he's had the all clear but the treatment has left him completely impotent. No amount of pills or other treatments have worked but his doctor won't take his complaint seriously until he stops smoking and loses some weight.

This has left me climbing the wall with frustration. He tries to help with oral and toys but the O I get from them is nowhere near as intense as having proper intimacy with a man inside. So I'm still left with a yearning and craving, in fact toys and oral make the problem worse not better.

I really don't want to leave him because I do really love him. In every other department our marriage is OK but intimacy, I'd give it 1 out of 10.

The other day when I was on the net I inadvertently clicked on a banner that took me to a sex dating site. It claimed that there were dozens of horny women within 5 miles of where I live that were desperate for sex. I'm guessing the banner was aimed at lonely men but my interest was piqued so I explored further and found that yes indeed there were lots of women in and around the town I live advertising for NSA sex. Very few had facial photos, mostly they were selfies of their boobs or vag.

I haven't been able to get this site out of my mind. It's got me seriously thinking.

Has anyone been on such a site? What experiences did you have, postitive or negative? What sort of men do you meet? Do you have any advice?

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@clare1087,

Talk to your husband about opening up your marriage. At least be upfront about it. You say you love him. Then at least don't try to deceive him.

And get him to a second doctor who can help him to lose weight and quit smoking, or impotence will be the least of his problems.

1 Reply

@jespah,

Thanks Jespah. I haven't made any definite decision yet, I'm just 'researching' at the moment. Having a 'buddy' has attractions but I'm really very nervous about it, I've never done anything like this before, I've only been with 4 different men including hubby and been completely faithful since we met. So this is a massive step for me.

I'm not going to do anything behind his back. If I decide, I'll let him know that I can't carry on as we are.

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Most women don't orgasm because of penetration, so I think your post is BS. Probably written by a man.

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@PUNKEY,

I would agree, why the detailed reference to this "site"? Seems like spam

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@PUNKEY,

PUNKEY wrote:

Most women don't orgasm because of penetration...

I haven't seen any statistics, but in my experience most DO...

1 Reply

@Olivier5,

hmmmmmm

1 Reply

@eurocelticyankee,

Yada yada... Rest assured that most women can derive great pleasure from their vagina. Why do you think there's such a big business for dildos and **** machines?

Beside, women nowadays have no more incentive to fake it than men have... How many times did you fake an orgasm yourself? Happened to me maybe two or three times in my entire life. I believe the same holds true for most women: faking orgasm is not a thing you do every day. What would be the point?

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

Girls are different, if you were a girl you'd know. Some get an O in foreplay and others during penetration. I'm really fortunate because I get both which is probably why I love sex so much.

1 Reply

@Olivier5,

Thanks Olivier. I've never faked it. With my first 2 bfs I didn't have an O and when they asked me I just said no I didn't. We were very inexperienced then, probably more of a fumble that went a bit further and had to hurry to finish before the return of parents. Back then, what you'd never had you didn't miss, and I could always finish off at home lol

1 Reply

@clare1087,

clare1087 wrote:

Thanks Olivier. I've never faked it.

Nor should you. I always felt bad when I did it.

Re. your OP, what's NSA?

1 Reply

@Olivier5,

Hi Olivier. It stands for No Strings Attached. Sex without the relationship or even dating. I don't know if you're thinking I'm a right tart, I just have needs and without it, I can hardly think straight.

1 Reply

@clare1087,

Ah okay, tx. I'm not judgemental in matters of sex. As long as it's legal, whatever rocks your err... boat. I'd agree with the others that hubby should be told, in principle.

1 Reply

@clare1087,

clare1087 wrote:

Girls are different, if you were a girl you'd know. Some get an O in foreplay and others during penetration. I'm really fortunate because I get both which is probably why I love sex so much.

Grin. Absolutely. Three or four during a session, and the very best one is very deep vaginal one after the others, just feeling him. I'd hoped there were other chicks who had the same experience.

But, from lovers' comments, it's not very common.

Congrats to you. Tell him how you feel; he can choose to make the necessary health changes, or face your choice to experience sex. You can't let that good feeling go to waste, but ... If you were into dick, you'd be looking for it.

What can a woman do for you that your husband can't?

1 Reply

@Olivier5,

Yes there's no way I'd cheat and do it behind his back. In fact I'm not convinced this is such a good idea which is why I asked originally if anyone has experience or advice.

1 Reply

@Lash,

Lol you're hinting to try bi?? I'm not 100% straight but I'd guess I was 95% so I doubt that would give me the fulfilment I need, but maybe one day, another experiment lol

1 Reply

@clare1087,

No. It seemed like 'other women' was your interest --to me--from the way you wrote it. It could go both ways.... bahaha!

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@clare1087,

clare1087 wrote:

In fact I'm not convinced this is such a good idea which is why I asked originally if anyone has experience or advice.

I have no experience of NSA. In my opinion, these things never really STAY without strings for very long. I'm guilty of romantism, but when sex is good, it's often because the two persons have "good chemistry". It's all in the head, pleasure, love, all mixed up in one single brain. So even if the first shot is without attachement, the second one gets a little more intimate, and at their third embrace the NSA lovers pledge each other eternal love... my 2 cents anyway.

1 Reply

@Olivier5,

Thanks Olivier. You might be right. All I know is that I can't go on as I am for much longer. If I do find myself developing feelings for a man than that is a risk I'm prepared to take. I know it might sound selfish but I'd rather have such a dilemma then go through the rest of my life not having any sexual passion or intimacy, totally frustrated. But don't worry, that's not what I'm setting out for, what I really want is just somebody who can give me a fantastic time between the sheets, and nothing else. Someone who has a shared interest in great sex. If he's got a sense of humour and personality then that's a bonus but right now all I'm interested in and looking for is a few good sessions.

1 Reply

@clare1087,

Sure, go for it. I'd be interested to know about how reality match your expectations.

1 Reply

Wits End Seriously Thinking of NSA Sex

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