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What can I do with this situation, I am really confused, need help!?

 
 
katya07
 
Reply Thu 24 Aug, 2017 05:18 pm
I am 29, and I recently moved to the states to my grandparents house my mom and my sister are also with us, my grandparents are retired and they receive benefits, and I want to work, but know there ''saying'' that we can't work because ''supposedly'' they can take alway there benefits, the problem is that I think my grandma is doing all of this on purpose because my father is in another country trying to work in a hospital, but he is just saying that he is waiting for a paper, and my grandmother says she is not buying his story and that he has to come back to work, she has been saying the same thing about a month ago.

My Theory is that she wants us out of her house, that's why she is creating all of this drama) the funny thing about all of this is that like a week ago my grandpa was taking me to places to look for jobs, and all of a sudden he never offered me to go see jobs or even asked me, its like they did a 360 degree turn. How can I deal with this or confront this, I mean we need to work to rent our own place and buy a car! Honestly I am not understanding all this weird mystery they have, and I am getting fed up. this is not the way to help a person.
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Aug, 2017 05:21 pm
@katya07,
Why don't you ask them this?

No one here knows what is going on in the minds of your grandparents.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Thu 24 Aug, 2017 08:44 pm
I cant imagine what benefits your grandparents would lose if YOU got a job - unless the entire household income has to be counted for benefits. Are they in low income housing?

Ask your grandfather why he is not helping you find a job.


katya07
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Aug, 2017 10:58 am
@PUNKEY,
@PUNKEY No they bought a house long time ago and if I am not mistaken they have already finished paying it. all of this is really weird to me, cause I believe my grandma which is extremely a pain in you know where (I don't want to be disrespectful but she is wayyy to much wayyyyyy to much.) is the one that has created all this drama and she dominates and drags my grandfather into all of this, because since were stuck in her home, cause we have no other place to go, and well my FATHER is in another country trying to get into his medical residency, she believes he is playing around and he wont do anything( I do admit my dad has lost most of his life trying to do this medical career and has struggle with anxiety and what not) and since she is his mother she knows him too well. and it's obvious she is creating all of this drama to basically kick us (my mom, my sister and me out of her house).

My theory is that she has created all of this, because about 2 weeks ago my grandfather was perfectly fine trying to help us to get jobs and be active with that.and now all of a sudden since my dad has been a bit ambiguous with him staying in that other country to practice his medicine career, its driving her nuts so she literally exploded and came up with all these excuses so he comes back and see if we move out.

what I don't get is how the heck are we going to move out if my dad comes back, since now according to my gradparents we cannot work since that would affect or take away there retirement benefits due to more income in there household.this all sounds fishy to me!, I am about to have a heart attack if I dont leave some where else. I can't take this, There has to be a solution Sad
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  3  
Reply Fri 25 Aug, 2017 11:33 am
Let me get this straight - you are 29 now living in the United States with your grandparents. Also living in this house is your mom and sister. Your grandparents own their house and from the sounds of it are collecting social security and/or maybe some other retirement money.

I have some questions first - are you legally able to work in the United States? How old is your sister, can she and your mom legally work in the United States? Are you citizens of the US? Do you have work visas?

If you can legally work in the US then there is absolutely no reason for you to not work. You are a 29 year old adult, obviously your mom is older than you so she is an adult and depending on your sister's age there is no reason for her not to work.

You are all independent adults. Your income does not matter for them to collect social security. If you earn a million dollars it doesn't matter - unless you pay them rent or given them money there is nothing for them to claim so your personal income has no impact to them.

Is there somewhere you can walk to or take a bus to get a job? I'd look there first just to get you started. You are 29 - you can do whatever you want.
katya07
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Aug, 2017 09:32 pm
@Linkat,
Yes were legal, were permanent residents, I know all of this sounds shady, but they say since they receive benefits and were all living under the same roof that they might take there benefits due to our income, when they declare there income taxes. I don't get this.! I am dying to work. and now I am stopped due to this dramatic situation ughhhh, theres no way I can move forward if I don't start know.
Linkat
 
  3  
Reply Sat 26 Aug, 2017 05:15 pm
@katya07,
See if there is free legal advice in your area. A quicky Internet search might help you. I honestly think that your grandparents are either lying to you or just don't know. I cannot see how an independent adult's income within the same household has any impact on another's tax return.

They don't record your income on their tax return nor can claim you as a dependent on their tax return so how can that impact them?

When I was fresh our of college and had my first full time job and lived that year at my parents home, they did not claim me or my income on their tax return. I filed my own separately. It had no impact on them.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sun 27 Aug, 2017 06:41 am
I suspect that your grandmother wants to show that her son needs to come home and take care of his family who has no means of support. This is her way of getting him home to accept what she thinks is his responsibility. Get a job, even if you have to ride a bicycle to get there.

What is sister doing? She needs to work also.
katya07
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Aug, 2017 08:58 am
@PUNKEY,
My sister is 14 studying, yeah my grandma has us under a lock literally we cannot do anything until my dad comes back (which he finally is) lets see what happens when he comes back. But honestly I dont think us working affects her and my grandpa's retirement benefits if we live for 3 months with her.
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Sun 27 Aug, 2017 09:05 am
@katya07,
Do you have any contact in the community? connections with religious leaders outside of the home?

What do you do all day? are you allowed to go for walks/go shopping?

Find a way to get out of the house and talk to someone about this.

It all sounds highly illegal - especially if you are literally locked into the house.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sun 27 Aug, 2017 03:38 pm
If grandparents are in 55 and over restricted housing , having young guests for more than 2 weeks (or less) can get them in trouble. Also, HUD rental housing considers all household income.

I doubt any of this applies. Just putting it out there.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Aug, 2017 05:08 pm
@katya07,
katya07 wrote:

My sister is 14 studying, yeah my grandma has us under a lock literally...


Like ehBeth, I'm wondering how this woman who has to be at least 70ish (since you're 29) has literally locked you and a 14 year old female into a house, or room, or wherever she is keeping you.

Since you have internet access, why don't you notify authorities that your grandmother has you locked up?

0 Replies
 
cameronleon
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Aug, 2017 05:40 pm
@katya07,
Get a job, whatever the job is about.

After getting the job, start to help with small things in the house, like buying food, cleaning the house, helping them.

Slowly but surely they will like the idea of having you working and helping. They will change their mind eventually.

While you still living with them, try to open a bank account, savings and checking.

Start slowly, save some money, work, help your family.

You are like a bird who will be ready to fly very soon. But don't try to leave the nest so soon, because you can't fly yet.

It will take you months, but with good effort you will make it.
0 Replies
 
 

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