Am I in the wrong or is my partner overreacting?

She's overreacting.

Man, she goes to the nuclear option awfully quickly!

I dunno jes.

Maybe this is a reaction to other things the OP has done, serious things, and this was the last straw.

Need a lot more background.

Good point.

I have been accused of staring at other women on 2 occasions which were both times when they paid attention to my baby who I was holding at the time. I have not cheated on her and not spoken intimately to another woman.

Yeah, that's possible. Still, it seems awfully nuclear.

Is she a person who's been cheated on in the past?

No she has never said she has

Let her. You'll be better off without her.


Disrespectful my ass. That is a word much used by over entitled people. Little Miss Pain In The Goddamn Ass. You can spend your life kissing her butt and guess what? It will never be enough.


Openly! Flagrantly! Shamelessly? You're bound for hell, boy.


Sure. I do this all the time. I like a laugh and a joke. The very fact that I do it in front of my wife tells her she can trust me. She laughs and says afterwards (e.g. about a pretty waitress) "You made a hit there!"


Assuming you have been straight with us, and you aren't a serial flirter/shagger, you weren't wrong and she was over-reacting. But - a thought strikes me - how long have you guys been together? If this is the way you are, hasn't she reacted this way before? Have you given her real reason to be jealous or insecure? If not, consider your options.

Thank you for your reply.

I have said that she is insecure but she says she is not. We have been together 2.5 years, but got together when we were in our previous relationships. I have no intention in leaving her for anyone but I think she thinks I am a serial cheater as I did in my previous relationship with her.

Oh, heck yeah. A week or so ago, my waitress brought me a cup of coffee with a lipstick smear. I told her if it wasn't hers, I wanted a new cup. Of course, I'm at the beginning of my second geezerhood and can get away with stuff like that. Sometimes.

She has no sense of humor.

It wont get better as you age.

Decide if thats how you want to live.

you both cheated on your previous partners to get together?

that probably explains a part of this

^^ the rest.....of the story.

It's easy to say things like she's got no sense of humor or she's over reacting when he might be doing the same stunts that he once did with her.

I feel like the deeper we dig, the higher the pile of dirt will become.

I find the comment offensive as well... If this is a part of a pattern this would be an issue for me.

I think the OP knows whether or not he was being disrespectful, and if so, to what extent (my opinion is that it was somewhat disrespectful...but in the scheme of things, very minor. Of course, he will have to make up his own mind of that score)

However, it is not a sane reason (by itself), to threaten to leave. Usually it means having (firm but not nasty) words with the other person, and so long as they correct their behaviour, that's it.

So perhaps she is looking for an excuse to leave, and settled on this almost non-event as the reason.

I think she is overacting because I get the joke, but I wouldn't like it if my partner joked like that. It would make me feel very salty.

Very funny, and a particularly risk free joke in the environment of any normal healthy loving relationship.
It is only those people that take life over seriously which have a problem.
I`d be wanting to top myself before I`d been in your relationship for too long. The best chance you have of anything approaching happiness is in continually gazing at the floor.
There is a mob mentality here, but trust me, you`d of had to of been paranoid to have foreseen a problem over coming out with that one.
If I`d of thought of it I`d of cracked the same joke myself.
Well done, you have a good sense of humour, just what most budding partners are attracted by.
Over sensitive partners are a nightmare to live with, and they require help.
This is simply a response to the question, and with only the information currently available to me.

a bit funny to read this in context of later posts

What???

They were both in relationships when they got together. He was a serial cheater at the time.

She wasn't cheated on in the past. She was a cheater , as was he.

They're both gems.

Right, ok, not a productive joke under those background circumstances then. positively counter productive, for this would be their most sensitive area. I should leave this one entirely to you.