15
   

Am I in the wrong or is my partner overreacting?

 
 
Plbkr2
 
Reply Sat 15 Jul, 2017 04:33 pm
My partner and I were showing a lady round an apartment that was going to be rented. My partner was holding our 15 month year old son and I was standing just behind them when the prospective tenant said about the baby "wow he is very cute" or words similar. I was standing behind my partner and didn't have eye contact with the lady but jokingly said "and what about the baby" and then laughed. I did not make eye contact with the lady one and nothing more was said.

My partner now is wanting to leave me because she says I was being disrespectful to her and openly flirting with another woman in front of her. To me, it was just a joke, not a flirt, and meant no harm whatsoever. So my question to you is this:

Was I so completely wrong to say that or is my partner completely overreacting?

Thank you
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Question • Score: 15 • Views: 4,706 • Replies: 77

 
jespah
 
  5  
Reply Sat 15 Jul, 2017 04:34 pm
@Plbkr2,
She's overreacting.

Man, she goes to the nuclear option awfully quickly!
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Jul, 2017 04:42 pm
@jespah,
I dunno jes.

Maybe this is a reaction to other things the OP has done, serious things, and this was the last straw.

Need a lot more background.
Plbkr2
 
  2  
Reply Sat 15 Jul, 2017 04:51 pm
@chai2,
Good point.

I have been accused of staring at other women on 2 occasions which were both times when they paid attention to my baby who I was holding at the time. I have not cheated on her and not spoken intimately to another woman.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Sat 15 Jul, 2017 05:05 pm
@chai2,
Yeah, that's possible. Still, it seems awfully nuclear.

Is she a person who's been cheated on in the past?
Plbkr2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Jul, 2017 05:17 pm
@jespah,
No she has never said she has
0 Replies
 
centrox
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Jul, 2017 05:18 pm
@Plbkr2,
Plbkr2 wrote:
My partner now is wanting to leave me

Let her. You'll be better off without her.

Quote:
because she says I was being disrespectful to her

Disrespectful my ass. That is a word much used by over entitled people. Little Miss Pain In The Goddamn Ass. You can spend your life kissing her butt and guess what? It will never be enough.

Quote:
openly flirting with another woman in front of her.

Openly! Flagrantly! Shamelessly? You're bound for hell, boy.

Quote:
To me, it was just a joke, not a flirt, and meant no harm whatsoever.

Sure. I do this all the time. I like a laugh and a joke. The very fact that I do it in front of my wife tells her she can trust me. She laughs and says afterwards (e.g. about a pretty waitress) "You made a hit there!"

Quote:
Was I so completely wrong to say that or is my partner completely overreacting?

Assuming you have been straight with us, and you aren't a serial flirter/shagger, you weren't wrong and she was over-reacting. But - a thought strikes me - how long have you guys been together? If this is the way you are, hasn't she reacted this way before? Have you given her real reason to be jealous or insecure? If not, consider your options.

Plbkr2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Jul, 2017 05:25 pm
@centrox,
Thank you for your reply.

I have said that she is insecure but she says she is not. We have been together 2.5 years, but got together when we were in our previous relationships. I have no intention in leaving her for anyone but I think she thinks I am a serial cheater as I did in my previous relationship with her.
roger
 
  3  
Reply Sat 15 Jul, 2017 08:46 pm
@centrox,

centrox wrote:

Sure. I do this all the time. I like a laugh and a joke. The very fact that I do it in front of my wife tells her she can trust me. She laughs and says afterwards (e.g. about a pretty waitress) "You made a hit there!"



Oh, heck yeah. A week or so ago, my waitress brought me a cup of coffee with a lipstick smear. I told her if it wasn't hers, I wanted a new cup. Of course, I'm at the beginning of my second geezerhood and can get away with stuff like that. Sometimes.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Jul, 2017 09:38 pm
She has no sense of humor.

It wont get better as you age.

Decide if thats how you want to live.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Sun 16 Jul, 2017 09:54 am
@Plbkr2,
Plbkr2 wrote:
We have been together 2.5 years, but got together when we were in our previous relationships. I have no intention in leaving her for anyone but I think she thinks I am a serial cheater as I did in my previous relationship with her.


you both cheated on your previous partners to get together?

that probably explains a part of this

chai2
 
  3  
Reply Sun 16 Jul, 2017 11:37 am
@ehBeth,
^^ the rest.....of the story.

It's easy to say things like she's got no sense of humor or she's over reacting when he might be doing the same stunts that he once did with her.

I feel like the deeper we dig, the higher the pile of dirt will become.
0 Replies
 
totofirst
 
  -2  
Reply Mon 17 Jul, 2017 02:42 pm
@Plbkr2,
I find the comment offensive as well... If this is a part of a pattern this would be an issue for me.
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  3  
Reply Mon 17 Jul, 2017 04:47 pm
@Plbkr2,
I think the OP knows whether or not he was being disrespectful, and if so, to what extent (my opinion is that it was somewhat disrespectful...but in the scheme of things, very minor. Of course, he will have to make up his own mind of that score)

However, it is not a sane reason (by itself), to threaten to leave. Usually it means having (firm but not nasty) words with the other person, and so long as they correct their behaviour, that's it.

So perhaps she is looking for an excuse to leave, and settled on this almost non-event as the reason.
0 Replies
 
Chanell
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Jul, 2017 11:53 am
@jespah,
I think she is overacting because I get the joke, but I wouldn't like it if my partner joked like that. It would make me feel very salty.
0 Replies
 
celebritydiscodave
 
  -2  
Reply Thu 20 Jul, 2017 06:42 pm
@Plbkr2,
Very funny, and a particularly risk free joke in the environment of any normal healthy loving relationship.
It is only those people that take life over seriously which have a problem.
I`d be wanting to top myself before I`d been in your relationship for too long. The best chance you have of anything approaching happiness is in continually gazing at the floor.
There is a mob mentality here, but trust me, you`d of had to of been paranoid to have foreseen a problem over coming out with that one.
If I`d of thought of it I`d of cracked the same joke myself.
Well done, you have a good sense of humour, just what most budding partners are attracted by.
Over sensitive partners are a nightmare to live with, and they require help.
This is simply a response to the question, and with only the information currently available to me.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jul, 2017 06:47 pm
@jespah,
jespah wrote:

Is she a person who's been cheated on in the past?


a bit funny to read this in context of later posts
celebritydiscodave
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jul, 2017 06:59 pm
@ehBeth,
What???
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jul, 2017 07:01 pm
@celebritydiscodave,
They were both in relationships when they got together. He was a serial cheater at the time.

She wasn't cheated on in the past. She was a cheater , as was he.

They're both gems.
celebritydiscodave
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jul, 2017 12:43 am
@ehBeth,
Right, ok, not a productive joke under those background circumstances then. positively counter productive, for this would be their most sensitive area. I should leave this one entirely to you.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

A good cry on the train - Discussion by Joe Nation
I want to run away. I can't do this anymore. Help? - Question by unknownpersonuser
Please help, should I call CPS?? - Question by butterflyring
I Don't Know What To Do or Think Anymore - Question by RunningInPlace
Flirting? I Say Yes... - Question by LST1969
My wife constantly makes the same point. - Question by alwayscloudy
Cellphone number - Question by Smiley12
 
  1. Forums
  2. » Am I in the wrong or is my partner overreacting?
Copyright © 2024 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.18 seconds on 12/04/2024 at 07:23:02