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Working Wife Cheating?

 
 
Reply Thu 6 Jul, 2017 05:49 am
We were married for 25 yrs and I was medically mismanaged that got me semi-comatosed for 2 yrs. My wife got a high paying corporate role and fellowship with colleagues (mostly males) until midnight sometimes. I am getting better by the day but not very mobile.

Once, I caught her coming home after 12 midnight after she put me in bed at 9.30pm. I woke up at 10.30pm and waited for her ... she said she was at nearby Starbucks counselling a lady colleague and said she went out at 11.30pm. We had a row because she refused to let me see who called her for the meeting ... saying "My private space." I told her we can separate as I don't our children affected by her adulterous ways. She said "NO. You are sick."

I changed my will ... all cash for my children only. I have given her all my assets. Getting a PI to check where she have been and with who?
 
jespah
 
  6  
Reply Thu 6 Jul, 2017 07:43 am
@adriw7878,
You already don't trust her. Why the hell are you staying married? Investing in a PI will do nothing but enrich a PI. You aren't going to accept the answer if it turns out she's not cheating, and if she is, then you don't need the private investigator.

And why is she staying married to you? If I were her and I was being accused of cheating after standing by you for two years of serious medical issues, I'd be looking for the exit sign.
WineNot
 
  2  
Reply Thu 6 Jul, 2017 08:37 pm
@adriw7878,
I understand privacy; however, I am also old fashioned. When you marry, you and your spouse become a unit and I don't see why you would not want to let your spouse see who called or hide things from them (unless you have something to hide). If you aren't mobile then I understand getting a PI. If she is cheating it is better to know for sure and then move on. If not then you need to learn to trust her a lot more and be more accepting. Either way, you will have answers.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Fri 7 Jul, 2017 05:38 am
You dont need a PI. You need good conversation and honestey.

Its been 2 years. You are getting better. Now its time to see if you can put this marriage back together - move from the nurse/patient back to husband/wife.

Get some counseling for yourself and then couples counseling.
0 Replies
 
adriw7878
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Jul, 2017 11:25 pm
@jespah,
I am ok for her to move on but must keep my money for my own living. She wants me to transfer all money to her account ..... "NO way!"

I willed all money to my 2 children. My wife has all my assets already.
niceguy47460
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 22 Jul, 2017 12:54 pm
@adriw7878,
Get the pi and get your assets back . She is trying to back you into a corner so you have no way out and can't find for yourself . She is cheating almost no one works that late . Don't let her do that to you .
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sat 22 Jul, 2017 01:14 pm
@niceguy47460,
Or save the money and go straight for the divorce since it's over anyway. Being vindictive is expensive.
adriw7878
 
  1  
Reply Wed 26 Jul, 2017 04:14 am
@jespah,
Hi bro,

The reason for a PI is to confirm situation in her office. Mon-Fri ....every night clubbing to motivate staff?? She doesn't want a divorce.

In recent chat she did not deny having 'action' outside. She said she has needs too. I believe her 'mate' is also married. I said no .... that's a bad example to our 2 girls. PI to get evidence then I will move on.

Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Wed 26 Jul, 2017 04:57 am
@adriw7878,

(psst -- she's not a bro...)
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Wed 26 Jul, 2017 08:19 am
@adriw7878,
In a lot of parts of the world, you can get a divorce without evidence of cheating.
0 Replies
 
adriw7878
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Aug, 2017 02:31 pm
@jespah
We were happily married before my medical incidence. She NEVER goes drinking with anyone without me. The last 500k paid by doctor/hospital to me was banked into our joint ac which she later withdrew into her own account.

The reason for PI was to gather evidence pf her infidelity and go to court to get my money back.
ehBeth
 
  4  
Reply Sun 13 Aug, 2017 02:40 pm
@adriw7878,
You don't need evidence to get a divorce.

You need a forensic accountant, not a PI, for the financial side.

You don't trust her. Just file for divorce already. You're not doing anyone any favours by staying in a marriage/relationship with someone you don't trust.

Dump the PI. Use the money for your divorce lawyer.

Move on.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Aug, 2017 03:53 pm
@adriw7878,
I agree, don't worry about whether she is cheating or not, you have a question mark there.

From what you are writing, I can't see that you were happily married before your incident that awarded you a lot of money, if you were she wouldn't be so greedy in moving it from a joint account into her own and you've given her your assets in addition.

You need a Lawyer.
adriw7878
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Sep, 2017 12:33 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
Thanks for your reply. I was shocked by her behaviours (coming back at midnight and drinking in clubs). As my awareness became more alert and I getting more mobile, she is back by 7pm the past few weeks .... no more drinking session outside. She knows I will pack and leave her once I see her outside partying.
0 Replies
 
 

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