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Fri 30 Jun, 2017 02:10 pm
a year ago I had lost my sibling in tragic circumstances, leading me to be extremely lonely and vulnerable. during this time I met a guy that was sweet and sensitive even though he was not at all my type, i started to trust him and feel a lot of feelings towards him, even to the point of thinking maybe this will be the guy i'll spend my life with.
bad luck stirkes, and he calls me two month into our romance distraught telling me a female friend of his is 3 months pregnant from him.
I was sad and shocked, and we of course ended it then, but a few weeks after I called him to ask how he was and we started talking again as friends but flirty, one thing led to another and we decided to meet up again, and had a one last night together, even though he had already agreed to be present as a father and had asked his female friend to move in with him towards the end of the pregnancy (they were not in a relationship before or during this time, but still... they were in an agreement of some sort)
I feel guilty, for being a cheater, for going out with a taken man, of course I knew it, but hope dies last, and I thought maybe it will turn out that it is not his child, or anything really, I did not like his female friend and there was something suspicious of this sudden pregnancy, I hoped maybe I wont lose another person and somehow it will solve itself in my favor.
but we had that night, and kept a distance from each other after. months have passed and recently we talked again, he is very much still waiting for his baby, but still tells me he is willing to meet up with me, and thinks about that night and me .
I am holding my ground and not going through with any of his attempts, but i think about him, and I long for him, is he truly a bad person? were we truly bad people for meeting up like that even after we knew he will be a father? was it cheating? I am scared karma will come back to get me and that I was really a bad person with that decision, I would like to hear any perspective on this.
@loversinjapan27,
He is with another woman who is having his kid. That's all you need to know.
@jespah,
true,
my question is if we were bad people to have gone through with this, and if it was technically an affair.
@loversinjapan27,
My take on this is that you are not a bad person or else you would not be going through this agony. Also, it takes more than one night to have an affair. I believe there is an excellent chance that this fellow would like you to be his mistress, so he can have the best of both worlds. Unfortunately, if you keep on giving him the benefit of the doubt like this, you are going to end up being his mistress, which is not going to be good for you at all. I also think you realize this, but you are wishing for a miracle that deep down you know isn't going to happen.
@Blickers,
you are right, I do see that he is trying to have the best of both sides, and It's a shame a person I thought was kind, is doing this. I've had enough of a guilt trip from one night, I will further myself from him and go on with my life.
I wish him nothing but the best and thank you for your perspective.
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